ew Page 2444 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ump John Hirschbeck Gets Drilled With Fastball, Crew Still Blows Call
Umpiring comes with all sorts of occupational hazards, not the least being that a catcher might just whiff on a 93-mph fastball, allowing it to connect directly with one's bare hand. ...

Shane Battier Says Getting Benched Was Like Eating A "Turd Sandwich"
Hey, Shane Battier, how did it feel to spend all of Game 7 of the Eastern Conference finals on the bench?...

Some Poor Soul Ordered A Tom Brady Fathead, Got Tim Tebow's Instead
How could you fackin' loozahs mix this up? NAWT only does Tim Tebow NAWT play for OW-AH fackin' team, he ain't even good enough to PRAY in front of Tawmmy Brady's jawkstrap!...

Weirdo Rookie Umpire Fills Left Field With His Chewed Gum
Major-league umpires are kind of the worst. Blown close calls we can grudgingly abide, but blown not-all-that-close calls punctuated by ego trips, well, not so much. And yet that's what umpires do! Jordan Baker, a minor-league umpire who has filled in on Dana DeMuth's crew over the past week, keeps ...

Woman Training For Half-Marathon Didn't Know She Was Pregnant
Odds are, part of the reason Trish Staine's pregnancy took her by surprise was that her husband John had a vasectomy. ...

This Is Absolutely Disgusting
This is a woman (we think) applying sunscreen directly to her lips. ...

10 Or So Thoughts On Biogenesis, A Scandal For All The Wrong Reasons
A few observations, in no special order, on the latest iteration of the scandal, now ongoing for at least 124 years, involving major league ballplayers using steroids:...

Suspect In Stabbing Of Steelers Player Raps With Wiz Khalifa
Pittsburgh police are still looking for a third suspect in connection with the weekend stabbing of Steelers tackle Mike Adams, who was released from the hospital yesterday after a pair of surgeries, including one for a lacerated colon (ouch)....

How Many NBA Pundits Predicted A Spurs-Heat Finals?
Republished with permission from PunditTracker....

Indians Closer Chris Perez Is The Subject Of A Dumb Panic Over Weed
And it got started because Zack Meisel, a reporter for Indians.com, tweeted that Perez was "arrested for drug possession," and that police in Rocky River, Ohio, "confirm" it. One problem: It wasn't true, and Perez may not be involved at all....

Here's A Radio Stunt Involving Spilled Piss
Want to make watching a radio show on television interesting? Spill urine all over one of the hosts (maybe)....

Lindsey Vonn Had To Take A Drug Test While At An Awards Show
According to a report from the New York Post, Olympic skier and drunk Tiger Woods wrangler Lindsey Vonn was ambushed by drug testers from the International Olympic Committee while at the Council of Fashion Designers of America Awards (sounds made up), and was forced to take a drug test on the spot....

The Black Berets: Red Smith On The Olympic Black Power Salute
Red Smith is the most respected sports columnist we've ever had. In his prime, Jimmy Cannon, Smith's friendly rival, was certainly as well-known. Cannon, the Voice of New York, was an emotional, colloquial writer whose reputation, unfortunately, has faded. But Smith endures. What is it about his wri...

Keith Olbermann Will Host Turner's MLB Playoff Coverage
Well, Keith Olbermann has a job again. After months of showing up at ballparks, Olbermann is going to be the studio host for Turner's coverage of the MLB playoffs this October. The Hollywood Reporter reports he'll be on with Dennis Eckersley and maybe one other studio guy (Jim Miller broke the Olber...

Woman Seeking Ban Suggests Kickball League Is Worse Than Drugs, Gangs
A Lower East Side resident is trying to ban an adult kickball league, claiming it is "obnoxious" and on par with the heroin and gangs that characterized the Manhattan neighborhood decades ago....

Mark Grant Likes To Crush Dodger Dogs, Dick Enberg Is A Sly Perv
Two women wearing hot dog hats caught the lens of the Fox Sports San Diego camera during the fifth inning of the Yasiel Puig Show and why not? Ladies wearing phalluses Dodger Dogs on their heads at a baseball game is as American as apple pie. ...

Professional Boxer Wears Jacket That Has His Name Spelled Wrong On It
This is Adonis Stevenson. He's set to fight light heavyweight champion Chad Dawson in Montreal this Saturday. He should probably stop wearing that jacket....

Coach Cited For Encouraging Wrestlers To Hit Farting Teammate
The former varsity wrestling coach at Dallastown Area High School in central Pennsylvania was cited for disorderly conduct a couple of weeks back. His offense? Back in January, he allegedly told his wrestlers to hit one of their teammates. Let's let Chuck Murphy, the deputy prosecutor, explain why:...

Marathon Runner Steals Mickey Mouse Doll From Child, Is A Huge Jerk
The bond between a child and his favorite toy is a sacred one that should not be taken lightly. Just ask Arman Moodliar, who had his favorite Mickey Mouse doll stolen from him by a heartless marathon runner....

Three American Pastimes
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