ew Page 2495 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Pirates Starting Pitcher Has Spectacularly Short Outing
Pittsburgh lefty Jonathan Sanchez started last night's game in St. Louis. His stat line reads as follows: 0.0 IP, 3 H, 2R, 2ER, 2 HR, 1 HBP. He faced four batters and threw all of 17 pitches, and then he was gone. He did not get hurt....
Brian O'Nora Was Probably Puking Because He Swallowed His Chew
The Mets and Phillies experienced a brief delay in the first inning last night thanks to what is being variously described as Brian O'Nora's "flu like symptoms" or "illness." In all likelihood, however, the delay was probably due to Brian O'Nora vomiting up his chewing tabacco. ...
Runner Scores On Busted Squeeze Play By Falling Down
This new twist on the squeeze play comes our way from Texas high school baseball. Rather than waste time and energy running back to third after the batter whiffs on a bunt attempt, our guy just drops to the ground, lets the catcher run over him, and quickly pops back up for an unimpeded run home. ...
Stephen Curry And Jarrett Jack Are One-Upping Their Way Past Denver
It's the first round of the NBA playoffs, and a good series is kind of like finding a good mechanic you trust, but we've got it in Denver-Golden State. Nuggets-Warriors is the best series going and it isn't even close....
Good Morning! Here's A Michael Wilbon Stinkface
We hope this morning finds you bright and cheerful and ready to take on whatever exasperated-just-to-be-around-other-people Wilbon faces life throws at you....
Steve Gleason Announced The Saints' Third-Round Pick
If you are somehow unfamiliar with Steve Gleason's story, go here and read everything. Fresh off his trip with Scott Fujita to Machu Picchu, the former New Orleans safety appeared in New York tonight to announce the Saints' third-round pick of Terron Armstead. In a draft full of trumped-up drama, t...
Bill Polian Rips Tyrann Mathieu, Calls Honey Badger "A Poor Teammate"
Former NFL general manager and current ESPN analyst Bill Polian destroyed Tyrann Mathieu today, calling the prospect a "poor teammate and a poor risk," and claiming were he still in charge of drafting for a pro team that he'd "take him off our board."...
Papa John Tells Us He Never Got Shitfaced At A Strip Club With Bonzi Wells While Wearing A Shawn Kemp Jersey
It's time for another firsthand account of Papa John getting shitfaced. If you haven't already, please check out our previous coverage of Papa John getting shitfaced. There was the time he got all fucked up at a basketball game, the time he allegedly proved himself to be a huge lightweight, and the ...
What's new today in the world of NFC North quarterbacks? Aaron Rodgers got a five-year, $110 million extension ($62.5 million of which arrives in the first three years) from the Packers. And Christian Ponder? Well, he's at Wal-Mart, salivating over Rodgers's dough and running errands for his wife....
Here Are A Bunch Of Photos Of An Alligator At The Zurich Open
The AP has put out a bunch of photos of an alligator that's among the spectators at the TPC Louisiana in New Orleans, the site of the Zurich Open. Shhh. Let's follow the gator as it makes its way across the 14th fairway....
Infographic: You're Better Off Guessing Than Listening To Mel Kiper
For most football fans, the NFL draft is associated with one name: Mel Kiper Jr. The ESPN analyst has been lauded as America's most famous draft expert for decades. We wondered how well his highly-publicized pre-draft rankings would hold up, though. Are the players Kiper claims will be NFL stars act...
This Is Why You Should Have A Snake-Venom Kit With You In The Woods
Big Daddy Lawler is a fellow who hosts an outdoors show every Saturday morning on a radio station in Thomasville, Ala. On his Facebook wall yesterday, Big Daddy posted a story and a photo from a reader named Chad, who on Sunday had been bitten by a rattlesnake. We've cropped the photo above, but you...
Matt Barnes Has Ice Water In His Veins
They say the best way to survive a bear attack is to stare the beast down as it charges you. Maybe that's what Matt Barnes was thinking about last night when Zach Randolph came charging toward him after a hard foul. ...
Cobb-Holmes '82: Spies, Thieves, And Other Serious Business
Here's the third of four Pete Dexter columns about Randall "Tex" Cobb's heavyweight title fight against Larry Holmes. Click here for part one and here for part two. Originally published in the Nov. 26, 1982, edition of the Philadelphia Daily News as "Randall's Serious," this column appears here wit...
Who Hugged The NFL Commissioner Longest At Last Night's Draft?
We don't know if, as a child, Roger Goodell dreamed of one day being best known for embracing enormous men and then, later, taking money from them. The Draft Day Hug Era is at its peak, and like last year, we decided to find out who hugged the NFL commissioner longest....
Jeffrey Loria Continues To Be A Meddlesome Twerp
Wednesday's Miami Herald contained a mysterious report about a mysterious pitching change before Tuesday's Marlins-Twins doubleheader: nameless "Higher-ups" had shifted top prospect Jose Fernandez to the early game, and "ace" Ricky Nolasco to the later one. Now, thanks to Jeff Passan, we know what ...
NFL Draft Prospect Tells Cop He Owns The Town; Cop Arrests Him
Today is "Tharold Simon Day" in Eunice, La., the hometown of former LSU cornerback Tharold Simon, who's expected to be picked in the middle rounds of this weekend's NFL draft. Simon apparently thought that made him above the law. A Eunice cop didn't quite see it that way....
It Looks Like David Kahn's Reign Of Terror Has Come To An End
Steve Aschburner of the NBA's Hangtime blog is reporting that Minnesota Timberwolves general manager David Kahn is on the cusp of being relieved of his duties. His likely replacement will be former T-Wolves coach Flip Saunders....
Schilling's Shitty Video Game Company: A Case Study In Bad Delusions
Originally published in Bloomberg View...