ew Page 2788 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Week In Deadspin: We Miss The Chorizo Already
• You bring us the chorizo, and then you take it away. Do not tease us with your chorizo. • Whither the white wide receiver. • Interesting strategy to sell video games. • Mike Tirico would rather you not bring this up again. • Here is what is inside Bobby Abreu's head. • Smell Jeter! • If Simmons ...

Gentlemen, Start Your Wanking
Right now Carl Monday is snapping down the protective visor on his riot helmet, scrambling into the back of the WKYC Action News van and yelling "Let's roll!" Yes, the big Masturbate-A-Thon is tomorrow,* which, if you live in Europe, still leaves you plenty of time to get to Drop Studios in London...

Joe Torre, Back When He Had To Work A Little Bit
Even among people who hate the Yankees, there is a grudging respect for manager Joe Torre, who exemplifies class, stoicism and wisdom in a game that many consider often lacking in all three....

Ah, Fun With PC Goodness
If you're a Yankees fan so obsessed with your team that you require daily tidbits of minutiae to get through your workday, you might have one of those daily desk calendars. (We have one for "The Far Side.") Fishbowl NY has pointed out the above entry for yesterday, August 2, in which the copy-editin...

Minor Enterprise: Baby, You Can Drive My Car
Welcome to Minor Enterprise, where we preview, and occasionally review, the great events of minor league baseball. Each Wednesday we'll take a look at the promotions, players and mascots which populate our minor league ballparks; the unsung heroes of our national pastime. (Minor Enterprise not res...

What Drives Bobby Abreu
Bobby Abreu made his debut for the New York Yankees last night, going 0-for-3 with a walk as the Yankees took over first place for the first time in almost two months. It's a love fest in the Bronx so far, which is to say, it has been about 24 hours....

Save The Chorizo!
We can all agree that we give much love to the chorizo, slight discomfort with cheap ethnic pandering aside. The chorizo has taken the country by storm! Considering there isn't that much more to talk about in relation to Milwaukee Brewers baseball right now, you'd think the chorizo would be out ther...

Some Folks Are Still A Little Mad About That Scab Business
So, Cory Lidle has left the Phillies and is heading to the Yankees. In an interview, he said he was excited about pitching in the Bronx because "over the last few years I haven't had a clubhouse that expected to win with me." This got back to Phillies reliever Arthur Rhodes, who was less than please...

Wanted: One Huge NY Giants Fan
If you're looking to score a sweet New York Giants season ticket, take a look at this from Craig's List, and act fast. Only one catch: You must wear a sumo wrestler-style fat suit for each game. It seems that the "Fat Suit Fans" are down one member and are looking for a replacement. Other caveats in...

Derek Jeter Would Like You To Smell Him
Sometimes, this job is a little bit too easy....

Jeremy Shockey Would Like To Set The Record Straight
Jeremy Shockey just wants you to know that he won't be letting up this season ... he plans to party as hard as he did in 2005. Man, where would we be without Shockey? With Terrell Owens minding his manners in Dallas and Marcus Vick having not brandished a weapon in months, we are truly blessed that ...

Hey, Guys ... You're Still On Camera
You know, we continue to find it amazing, in this day of MLB Extra Innings and MLB.tv, that any television announcer would speak freely during the commercial break. Dude: There's a microphone on you. Someone's going to hear....

The Closer: Mr. Met Administers Coup De Grace
Notes from a day in baseball:...

It's Trade Deadline Day ... But Haven't The Trades Already Happened?
So, what, pretty much all that's left is Alfonso Soriano, right? After the Carlos Lee to Texas trade on Friday, and the Bobby Abreu and Cory Lidle to the Yankees trade yesterday, the trade deadline at 4 p.m. ET today seems to be approaching without most of its larger bullets already fired....

Couldn't They Have Hired A Chorizo Who Could Run?
Here's some video of the race, along with reaction from some local fans. One day into his sausage-racing career, the Chorizo has already been accused by a fan of being drunk on margaritas, and by a newscaster of being drunk on Tequila. Thankfully, they stopped short of accusing the Chorizo of eating...

Bobby Abreu Heading North
As you may have expected, it's the Yankees who have stepped up and acquired Bobby Abreu. ESPN.com is reporting that the Yankees and Phillies have agreed to a deal that puts Bobby Abreu in pinstripes. The Yanks also pick up pitcher Cory Lidle as part of the deal, and going the other way are shortstop...

Reggie Bush Finally Gives In To Fans With Lame Signs
It seems like Reggie Bush's holdout garnered a lot of attention for a something that ended up lasting a grand total of two days. Many of you had more contentious negotations while trying to get laid this weekend. And as soon as he scores his first touchdown, no one's even going to remember that ther...

Keith Van Horn's Contribution To Society Has Been Judged More Valuable Than Yours
We all know and have long ago accepted that professional athletes make too much damn money, but nothing hammers that point home quite like peeking at SI.com's list of the 50 highest-earning American athletes in sports and seeing Chris Webber, Michael Finley, Jason Giambi, and Stephon Marbury all in ...

Let's Talk About Cuban Defectors
You may have heard of Yulieski Gourriel, a Cuban 2nd baseman who, according to Wikipedia, is regarded as the best player in Cuba. Reports surfaced yesterday that Gourriel had defected and was on his way to, where else, the New York Yankees. Here's the free translation.com translation of the "El Naci...

Week In Deadspin: Let's Hug It Out ... Well, Perhaps A Hug Isn't The Best Idea
• It turned out not to be the best of weeks for Harold Reynolds. • Hee hee. Jockeys running. Hee hee. • Floyd Landis has had a busy seven-day stretch. • We're dangerously close, folks, to "You're With Me, Leather" night at the ole ballpark. • AJ Hawk and his contractually convenient morals. • It's...