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Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Philadelphia Eagles
Some people are fans of the Philadelphia Eagles. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Philadelphia Eagles. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here...

Squirrel Brings U.S. Open To Screeching Halt
Tuesday's match between Julien Benneteau and Olivier Rochus was held up as an adorable little squirrel found its way onto the court, hungry for acorns and fame. Officials threw tennis balls at the poor creature to try and drive him off, but you've just got to let squirrel stoppages play themselves...

Man Pushes Teenager Off Lawnmower, Tebows, Drives Off
Remember when Tebowing was a thing? Ah, we recall it like it was just yesterday. Thankfully, today's story takes place in Western Pennsylvania, where things often stick around years and even decades after they've gone out of style in the rest of the country....

There Was Some Very Funny Business Going On In The Royals' Dugout Last Night
Nothing to see here, I'm sure. Aaron Crow is just demonstrating proper toothbrushing technique to Vin Mazzaro while they sit on the bench during the Royals' 1-0 win over the Tigers last night....

You Can Now Own Jeff Tedford's Insane Estate For Only $5.35 Million
Cal football coach Jeff Tedford still has a few more years left on his coaching contract, but it appears he's looking to downsize his living quarters just a tad, putting his palatial, two-acre estate, complete with a basketball court done up in UC-Berkeley colors, on the housing market for a cool $5...

Dallas Cowboys Pregame Show Host Can't Remember Which Station He Works For
Mickey Spagnola's the NFL-approved beat writer for DallasCowboys.com, and this role calls for him to be an occasional pre-game host during Cowboys broadcasts on local affiliate KTXA....

We Can Only Hope "NFL Referee" Don King's Incompetence Will Bring About Labor Peace
Don King, the replacement ref who's working tonight's game between the Giants and Patriots, got a little flummoxed during one sequence in the second quarter. Remember, this is the quality of referee the NFL is prepared to start the season with in just a week's time. Sam Borden of The New York Tim...

There Are No Words To Describe "SEC Bound," The Country Song Dedicated To Mizzou Football
When people say they hate country music, this video is probably what they're thinking of: A million Midwestern clichés wrapped into a three-minute, 52-second package of lasso practice, pickup trucks in fields, guitar-playing on top of hay bales, and college kids rowboating on dry land. (Is that wh...

Lionel Messi Scores Breathtaking Goal On Impossible Free Kick
Real Madrid clinched the Spanish Supercopa with today's victory over Barcelona, but Lionel Messi still did something remarkably Messi-like on this free kick at the end of the first half. Be sure to watch the replay that begins at the 45-second mark to see the way Messi managed to get the ball outs...

An Online Fantasy Football Gambling Site Is Using An Impersonator To Make You Think Jim Rome Is A Spokesperson
When your company's website features a prominent "Is This Legal?" link on its homepage, it's probably in an industry engaging in some kind of questionable behavior. But there it is on the front page of fantasy football gambling site FanDuel, in which we're told that yes, it is legal (in 44 of the ...

Russia's Women's Volleyball Coach, Distraught Over Olympic Failure, Found Hanged
Sergey Ovchinnikov, who coached Russia's women's volleyball team at the London Olympics, was found hanged in his hotel room in Croatia, according to local media reports. Dynamo Moscow, the club team he coached that is training in Croatia, announced his death on its website earlier today. Ovchinnikov...

Silas Redd Was Thinking About Leaving Penn State Way Back In November
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Sounds like Redd had USC in mind all along....

The Undertaker Goes Shopping For A Baseball Bat: More Wrestler Run-Ins
Inspired by the saga of "Wrestling Superstar Virgil," we continue with readers' encounters with the titans of the squared circle. If you've had your own run-in with pro wrestlers past or present, e-mail us, subject line "Virgilbag."...

The NFL's Scab Refs Will Work Week 1
Many are reporting that the scab refs we've all come to know and loathe during the preseason will be calling the shots on opening day. Get ready for more of that up there, some very angry football players, and a lot of attention on the totally stalled negotiations between the NFL and its usual refe...

Who Really Hits The Homers In <em>The Kid Who Only Hit Homers</em>? The Depressing Message Of Matt Christopher's Classic Book
Is The Kid Who Only Hit Homers a fable about the value of teamwork? Or is it a tale of using magic to get ahead, in which Babe Ruth is to Sylvester Coddmyer III as the devil is to Robert Johnson? The book, Matt Christopher's 1972 chef d'oeuvre, introduced the world to young Sylvester Coddmyer III, t...

Spencer Hall, The Best College Football Writer In The Land, Will Take Your Questions Now
The great Spencer Hall, proprietor of Everyday Should Be Saturday, contributor to SBNation, co-host of the pornishly lit Shutdown Fullback show, is here to talk college football with you. Week 1 is here!...
![Oh Man, Chad Johnson, This Tweet Is Heartbreaking [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17xheuejbxt8lpng.png)
Oh Man, Chad Johnson, This Tweet Is Heartbreaking [UPDATE]
Chad Johnson has been lying uncharacteristically low. He's got enough to deal with: legal fallout from a fight with his wife, divorce proceedings, getting cut by the Dolphins. But he appears to have returned to Twitter today, with a flurry of tweets in the last half-hour. The most recent? This one, ...

Was MLB's Juiced Era Actually A Juiced-Ball Era?
The following is adapted from a chapter of Extra Innings, a collection of incisive and mythbusting essays from our friends at Baseball Prospectus....

Former Fighting Irish Star And Current Broadcaster Allen Pinkett Says Notre Dame Needs More Criminals On The Team
Notre Dame football commentator and former Irish star Allen Pinkett says the team needs more criminals on the squad if it's ever going to be a successful team....

John Danks Sued For Hosting Some Brotherly Horseplay That Ended In A Spinal Injury
Danks is done for the year after shoulder surgery earlier this month, but he'll stay busy by dealing with one of the stranger lawsuits we've seen in a while....