ew Page 3044 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

It Gets Late Early Down Under
It's 3:48 in the am and I'm preparing to entertain the shit out of you all weekend long, but I'd be remiss if I didn't alert all those awake to the goings on in Melbourne. Roger Federer is down a set to Serbian Janko Tipsarević who came into the night paying out at 180/1 to win the third round matc...

ESPN Should Have More Roasts
• Come on, we gotta find that Jacobson video. • Fun with the Utah Jazz on New Years Eve. • Stephen A. Smith, pundit. • Wait, Norv Turner is a genius now? • ESPN supports their troops. • Phone sex. • T.O. cries! • ESPN comments will get you a job. • MITT ROMNEY! • Donte Stallworth has a frie...

NFC Championship Pants Party: Packers Vs. Giants
Eli Manning against Brett Favre. The debate about the relative attributes of these two quarterbacks has raged for a generation. At last, it will be settled on the field....

AFC Championship Pants Party: Patriots Vs. Chargers
Does anyone out there dare? Can anyone claim, with a straight face, that the Chargers are going to win this game? It's the AFC Championship, and we haven't found a single person who is taking the underdog. Sad state of affairs....


Are We Ready For A Rivers-Manning Super Bowl?
Everyone's all excited and a-twitter about the potential matchup of the Patriots and the Packers, Tom Brady and Brett Favre, that they're looking past the most enthralling quarterback faceoff of all: Eli Manning vs. Philip Rivers. Now that would be something to see....

The Championship Games And Phone Sex Anticipation
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....

Eli Manning Sent To Room With No TV
So Fox affiliate WLUK TV-Green Bay has this convoluted plan to get under Eli Manning's skin this weekend, as you may have heard. Someone told station GM Jay Zollar that Manning is fond of Seinfeld, so Zollar is pulling the show from the station's schedule on Saturday. Remember when no one cared what...

Packers Fans Tend To Be Wise And Capable Parents
You know about this by now, but it must be addressed. Well, it seems that some kids wear their Green Bay Packers clothing by choice. Others, not so much. When 36-year-old Matthew Kowald's 7-year-old son refused to wear a Packers jersey during Green Bay's playoff game with Seattle on Saturday, Kowald...

We Are Now Outsourcing Our Cheerleaders
The new issue of The Atlantic Monthly looks at just how much of our country China actually owns. (Answer: At this point, almost all of it.) And this is how you know it has gone too far: They're now controlling what we do with our cheerleaders....

Randy Moss Is Hands Off With The Ladies
So, now the Randy Moss restraining order story has gone "mainstream" — which is different than it going "legit" — what's the deal with it? What's the story? And does it have legs? And by "have legs," we mean, "will it sufficiently disgust Joe Buck?" Here are the papers....


Patriots' Fans Have Delicate Sensibilities
Patriots fans were shocked and indignant when Anna Grant, 14, was booed for wearing a Patriots jersey at the AFC playoff game in Indianapolis on Sunday. Folks at the RCA Dome let her have it during the introduction of the Punt, Pass and Kick winners, where, it appears, even the Colts' mascot got int...

Donte Stallworth's Alien Friend Nicco
Donte Stallworth can comfortably be considered the "other" wide receiver on the Patriots. He doesn't have the blow-up-a-game talent of Randy Moss, and he doesn't have the electric, sensuous charisma of the sex bomb that is Wes Welker. It takes a bit for the man to stand out. It takes something drama...

So Did Someone Slap A Restraining Order On Randy Moss, Or Not? (UPDATE: Yep!)
One of the fun parts of the Internets is that once you have introduced something to the series of tubes, called "posting," it never really goes away even if you try to delete it. (Which is why this still exists.) So WDBO Radio in Florida's "scoop" this morning, which they then deleted from their sit...

Solving The Mystery Of Eli Manning
OK, let's get real now: Eli Manning is really one game away from the Super Bowl? We thought he was more into squash. What's going on?...

Work For The Knicks, In The Worst Capacity Imaginable
You know what would be a great job? Being the guy who has to clean up all of Isiah Thomas' messes, and then try to explain them away to a growling, surly New York media. That's exactly what we told our mom we wanted to be when we grew up....

An Illustrated History Of Roger Clemens' Boorishness
Those Congressional hearings are going on today, but we have a sneaking suspicion that none of you care about them — frankly, we don't either — so we're gonna focus on the type of discourse we enjoy considerably more: Pure, unadulterated hatred of Roger Clemens....