ew Page 3068 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Please Consult Your Employee Handbook
• The memo that changed our lives. The part where Skipper explains what a leader is, that's still our favorite one. • Tommy Morrison loves black people. • Kill the ref! No, seriously, they might kill him. • Fight, children, fight. • Joe Torre is a racist, don't ya know. • We are not going to Fire Is...
Bonds Might Do This This Weekend
After his two home runs yesterday, everybody's favorite beacon of light Barry Bonds is just two home runs away from tying Hank Aaron. Perhaps you've heard about this. He's got three games in Bud Selig's hometown of Milwaukee to go for it this weekend, and then comes home for a week. It's possible he...
We're Guess Jack Daniels Will Cost About 12 Bucks
Good news! If Tampa Bay Buccaneers get confused by the 73 quarterbacks they'll have on their team this year, they will be able to douse their pain with the sweet nectar of hard liquor....
No Time For Pitchers
If this is a preview of the NLCS (sorry, Central Division! A fruit basket is on its way), we don't plan to miss a single game. Tom Glavine (he's still stuck at 299 career wins) and Derek Lowe both stunk, which is always fun, because the Mets and Dodgers combined for 35 hits in a 13-9 win by New York...
Thanks For The Interview, Now Sign This
These days, being a beat reporter has all kinds of rules. But one of the bigger ones? Please don't ask the players for their autograph. It would destroy the delicate illusion that reporters are actual impartial observers who just happen to cover some of the most famous people on the planet. A Japane...
Well, Expect The Quality Of Hoops In Italy To Decrease Dramatically
Knicks fans, you're in luck! You've been waiting for someone to ship Stephon Marbury's ass to some other country for years now, and it looks like he's gonna go ahead and do it himself. You're gonna have to wait a couple of years, though....
The Duke Can Beat You In Many, Many Ways
I admit to being no huge fan of the designated hitter rule. I like that fact that there is at least one pronounced difference between the leagues, but baseball is all about my nine vs. your nine ... and that includes the lazy-ass pitcher (I'm talking about you, Clemens). If the NL had the DH, then w...
Kicking Pepperoni On The Ump
There are so many ways to express your displeasure with an umpire. You can boo; some do this quite effectively. You can send him angry letters. You can say nasty things about him on a message board. Or you can throw pizza at him....
Joe Torre, Suddenly Racist
So, everybody, is Joe Torre a racist? You certainly might have thought so watching the Sunday night game last evening....
Enjoy Eight More Years Of The WNBA On ESPN
Big weekend for the WNBA, and boy, there's a sentence. (Well, independent clause, actually, but you get the point.) First off, the WNBA All-Star Game was yesterday. Bless their heart, the intrepid folks at WNBA.com live blogged the whole thing. Hope nobody kicked them out of the press box for that....
When Yankees Fans Attack ...
As if trying to keep your eyes peeled for foul balls — and flying rabbits! — wasn't enough to worry about at live sporting events, now we have to worry about drunk, rolling Yankees fans, too? But I only have two eyes!...
Artest And Jackson Already Suspended For Next Season
This is an interesting way to end the blogging day: Ron Artest and Stephen Jackson were just suspended by the NBA for the first seven games of next season. Yes, you read that correctly: next season....
One Grand Salami, Please ... Not On White!
Earlier yesterday, reports leaked that Gary Sheffield said black and white players are treated differently under Yankees skip Joe Torre, Derek Jeter "ain't all the way black," and that he never used steroids because "steroids is something you shoot in your butt," in an upcoming HBO interview. Needle...
Dog Days Of All-Star Week
• What a dull week. • Not a happy time at Dan Shaughnessy's Amazon page. • Everywhere you look, there is Spike The Super Ball. • Kige Ramsey makes the world a better place. • Have a Coke and smile. • Jared Allen, signing things that aren't fun to have signed. • We hear Simmons is definitely doing an...
Who Will Be the Next Sports Figure To Get Gastric Bypass Surgery?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
Is This The End For Our Hero?
We didn't get a chance to get into this yesterday, but we really need to give a full-throated, stand-up salute to Julio Franco, who very well might have played his final game....
A-Rod Would Really Prefer A Smaller Market, And Less Cash
The second half of the season has already begun to delight me: I got to laugh myself silly over Bay Area broadcaster Ted Robinson's speculation that Alex Rodriguez would be signing with the Giants for 2008. Sure, the Giants would love a second shot at one of their players breaking the all-time caree...
Barry Bonds' Last Friends In The World
Bud Selig can take some solace in the world: Not everyone is gnashing their teeth and rending their garments over Barry Bonds' impending destruction of Hank Aaron's home run record....