Please Consult Your Employee Handbook

• The memo that changed our lives. The part where Skipper explains what a leader is, that's still our favorite one. • Tommy Morrison loves black people. • Kill the ref! No, seriously, they might kill him. • Fight, children, fight. • Joe Torre is a racist, don't ya know. • We are not going to Fire Island with Scott Van Pelt this weekend. • Jimmy Kimmel is dangerous! • OK, the drug and gun stuff is fine, Elijah ... but steroids! For shame! • Alyssa Milano makes a friend. • Go Avalanche! • We would have preferred a Simmons-Isiah throwdown. • We have memos, too. • Oh, and Michael Vick should probably not walk your dog. Or do anything with your dog. But you knew this.

That'll do it for us. Your weekend maestro is the one and only Unsilent Majority, so, you know, expect a bunch of posts about Mike Tyson and Wizznutzz. We'll be back bright and early Monday morning. And yes: We will be reading the Harry Potter book all weekend. We accept your scorn.