ew Page 3156 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

About Last Night ...
What you missed while watching Riverdance and trying to pick out Bengals' receiver Chad Johnson ... • MLB: Braves, Angels clinch their division titles, decide to celebrate together to save money. • MLB: Yankees lose, Red Sox split, and it's tied — so let's start planning for the big series, shall we...

When Bronson Arroyo's Rock Isn't Hard Enough
MTV channels its inner Page 3 today, looking at the worst music offerings from professional athletes. (We're going to assume "ESPN Hollywood" has done this story about six times.)...

Blogdome: The Hell Of Being A Padres Fan
• "I don't care what you do now. Go ahead and win the dumb division. Or just keep crapping all over yourselves. I could care less either way. I have the Chargers and my Gloria Gaynor CDs." [Gas Lamp Ball] • Eddy Curry is either brooding over the way the Bulls are treating him, or sitting at home get...

If Tom Cruise Were A Lineman
As obsessive as Madden 2006 players tend to be, we're surprised it took this long to be discovered, but it appears a glitch in the game has Jets offensive lineman Michael King listed as seven inches high. (That's him in the picture, doing a pretty excellent job at blocking a Buccaneer, considering...

In The Wake Of Chad
We've always liked Jets fans, if just because they have that unique New York blend of bitter cynicism and unabashed homerism toward their team. They're like the woman who has nothing nice to say about her spoiled younger sister ... but she'll have your throat if you do....

About Last Night ...
What you missed due to your somewhat troubling five-hour visit to the Liberace Museum ... • Clausen Effect: Tennessee upsets No. 4 LSU in college football. • Sorry About That, Chiefs: Denver slaps around Kansas City on MNF. • Damn Yankees: Big Unit leads Yanks to half-game lead over rained-out Red S...

To Watch Tonight ...
What light through yonder window breaks? 'Tis Doritos, and this picante sauce is the sun ... • College FB: Tennessee at LSU. The only group of Volunteers who are not welcome in Louisiana. [ESPN2] • MNF: Chiefs at Broncos. If you have any idea what John Madden is talking about, please let us know. [A...

NFL Roundup: Kickers Soak Up All The Drama
• Like everyone else who is prone to breaking their spine whenever there's a stiff wind, we've always had an affinity for kickers. So when Cowboys bully tackle Larry Allen went after former XFL kicker Jose Cortez after he missed an extra point — to be fair, Cortez got a little lipp — we cringed th...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while declaring a thumb war with your Iraqi neighbor ... • NFL: Patriots 23, Steelers 20. Once again, mighty Steel Town reduced to tears by hobbit-like Adam Vinatieri. • MLB: Yankees, Red Sox both win to stay tied for division lead; will decide things in Wrestlemania VII. • NFL: Beng...

Week In Deadspin: Is Manny Wearing A Ron Mexico Jersey?
• You thought Ryan Farnsworth was bad. You thought Bronson Arroyo tarting it up with college students who aren't his wife was bad. You thought that A-Rod and his wife living as closet swingers was bad. Until you have seen Manny Ramirez teaching people how to dance, you ain't seen nothing. NOTHING!...

Giants Fans Remain Most Erudite In Sport
We once went to a St. Louis Cardinals-New York Yankees game at Yankee Stadium with a smattering of fellow Cardinals fans. There was a rain delay, and our group — all dressed in loud red, of course — watched the Bleacher Creatures amuse themselves, treating the benches like Slip-n-Slide's and parti...

Derek Jeter ... REVEALED! (Uh, by CBS.)
After its rather incomprehensible look at Miami Dolphins hemp advocate Ricky Williams last week, "60 Minutes" continues to scrape the filthy underbelly of the sports world with a cutting look at Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter. You won't believe the dirt they've uncovered. It's Derek Jeter LIKE YOU'...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while your JetBlue flight was circling LAX for three hours ... • MLB: Yankees fail in determined attempt to choke, go game up on Red Sox. • MLB: Willis bats seventh, earns pitching victory. Those wacky Marlins. • Presidents Cup Golf: Tiger Woods does not play well with others....

To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch if and when your pit bull decides to relinquish the remote ... • PGA: Valero Texas Open. Bart Bryant, we have come to topple you from your lofty pedastal. The thrill ride is over. Prepare to give up the Valero Texas Open trophy! [ESPN] • MLB: Orioles at Yankees. Big Stein smells a divi...

America's NBA Team: NOOCH!
Even though we still hadn't quite gotten used to not calling them the Charlotte Hornets anyway, the New Orleans Hornets have now officially changed their name again....

And So It Begins ...
Prepare for the gnashing of teeth and rending of garments: The Yankees have passed the Red Sox in the American League East. With only 11 games left to go — and an ominous three-game set at Fenway to end the season — we have yet another chapter of Yankees-Red Sox drama. Please do not accuse of East...

About Last Night ...
You entered Harrah's Reno at noon and security deposited you outside on the lawn sometime around 3 a.m. Here's what you missed ... • MLB: Yankees beat Orioles to pry first place from Boston's withered, dead hands. • MLB: Bonds homers again in frenzied race against the arrival of that congressional s...

A-Rod Takes His Swings
So far, we've revealed that Cubs 2B Todd Walker is a strip club hound and that Braves closer Kyle Farnsworth likes him some booze. For the final of the three On the DL items revealed this week, we unveil the biggest name yet. First, the item:...

Ryan Church, Theologian
Because we love baseball so much, we sometimes forget that the average athlete often lacks some basic education on fundamental issues. Take Ryan Church, Washington Nationals outfielder. As reported by The Washington Post — that is to say, he told this to a reporter — Church went to his team's chap...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while building a giant peanut out of thousands of regular peanuts ... • Monarchs win WNBA title! Whoa, calm down people of Sacramento! (Sound of crickets). • MLB: Ladies and gentlemen, your division-leading San Diego Padres. • MLB: Yankees beat Orioles, remain a half-game back in que...