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The 51 Best Beers I Drank At The Great American Beer Festival
Two weeks ago, I went to the Great American Beer Festival in lovely Denver, Colo., with a simple directive: Drink at least one beer from each state....

Danny Boyle Movies, Ranked
Danny Boyle is one of the most quietly adventurous filmmakers working today. He’ll do a science-fiction movie, then a period piece, then a Tarantino-type thriller, then a romantic comedy, then a conventional biopic, and he won’t so much as blink once. He is an auteur of the old-fashioned sort: His m...

19 Oktoberfest Beers, Ranked
America’s biggest BeerCon went down in Colorado over the weekend, and Drunkspin’s Rocky Mountain correspondent will be along later in the week to tell you all about it. I couldn’t make it to the Great American Beer Festival myself, as it did not take place in the park across the street from my apart...

Come On, Summer Is Obviously The Worst Season, Fight Me
Just what the fuck?...

Eras To Live In, Ranked
The past was awful. It was a time of choleric ignoramuses flopping around in their own shit and killing each other for entertainment. I feel bad for everyone who lived before today....

Plain White T-Shirts, Ranked
In case you momentarily forgot which website you were reading, let me say right here up at the top that I am not a textile expert. I’m actually not even particularly fashionable. To me, obsessing about fashion is silly. There are better things to obsess about, such as the optimal marinade for skirt ...

19 Fake Craft Beers Inspired By <i>The Simpsons</i>, Ranked
The craft beer industry is facing two significant problems. First off, they’re running out of names for their artisanal ales. Secondly, it’s an industry with a troubling dearth of gratuitous Simpsons references (full credit to Evil Genius for theirs). Combine these two predicaments, and you have one...

Lil Wayne Mixtapes, Ranked
For most of the 21st century, you could argue that Lil Wayne was the best rapper on the planet without sounding as insane as he usually did. A Cash Money Records foot soldier in his teens, the New Orleans native slowly morphed from an underground sensation into an unlikely pop superstar best known f...

21 Session IPAs, Ranked
Craft-beer enthusiasts like to argue, complain, and explain. I wonder if there’s any demographic commonality behind this exhausting pattern of behavior. Someone should look into whether perhaps a lot of them have graduate degrees, alcohol problems, and pale-colored penises, for instance. Or maybe th...

Movies About Male Strippers, Ranked
If there’s one thing that makes me sad for heterosexual men, it’s that so many of them haven’t seen Magic Mike. They assumed they’d be in for nonstop tight close-ups of Spandex-packaged junk, exposure to unrealistically chiseled and waxed male bodies, and barely plotted sexploitation aimed at the ga...

Father's Day Gifts, Ranked
Hey, Father’s Day is on Sunday! Wait, you are saying, suddenly even more sweaty, confused, and anachronistic than usual—aren’t we in April? Aren’t we in April of 2013? No, we are not in April of 2013. We are in June of ... [fumbles with phone for five embarrassing minutes] oh, wow, 2015! that’s bana...

12 IPAs For People Who Hate IPAs
As we all know, stouts are the best beers. But with temperatures rising, you may find that your local breweries have fewer on tap, your local liquor stores have fewer in stock, and your loved ones may look at you a little funny when, after mowing the lawn in triple-digit temperatures, you try to coo...

Suburban Northern Virginians' 46 Worst Fears
Yesterday, a New York City man accidentally dropped his keys through a sidewalk subway grate, then fell to the bottom of the shaft when he tried to retrieve them, thus experiencing in short order at least two common fears of city life. In response, The Awl and Gothamist compiled lists of every New Y...

Jokes From David Letterman's Final Top 10 List, Ranked
10. Bill Murray...

Some <i>Simpsons</i> Characters Voiced By Harry Shearer, Ranked
The Simpsons has been a lousy, vaguely depressing hood ornament for FOX for far longer, by now, than it ever was a good TV show, but when it was a good TV show, it was among the greatest television comedies ever made. Harry Shearer, the brilliant comedic and voice actor who announced his departure f...

The Most "What The Fuck State Is This College In?" Colleges
This post was originally published on March 22, 2013....

16 American Stouts, Ranked
Last Friday afternoon, I had the nerve to step away from my desk for as long as it takes to microwave a Hot Pocket and contemplate my sins, and Deadspin took advantage of those three unchaperoned minutes to damn near burn the place to the ground by running a piece with the title "Stouts Are The Be...

Balls, Ranked
NOTE: Rankings are for the actual balls, not the sports played with them....