f Page 3636 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Bristol Tailors Better Start Working On His Suits Right Now
As pretty much everybody knew already, Bill Parcells is trading spending his days with Terrell Owens for the chance to spend them with Chris Berman. We'd call that "a lateral move." Parcells is happy to be back in Bristol....
Hey, Who's Funnier Than Peyton Manning?
You know, when you're talking freewheeling, classic sketch comedy, well, jeez, you're obviously talking about Peyton Manning....
Joey Porter Might Take This As Somewhat Of A Lack Of Respect
One of the funniest pieces by one of the funniest writers we know: The Mighty MJD's great Letter From Joey Porter's Pit Bull, in which the canine shows the same distaste for perceived disrespect as his notoriously batshit insane owner. Porter is amazing to watch because everything infuriates him; if...
Brian Urlacher, Gleefully Handsy
What better way to start off your Friday morning than a Facebook photo of Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher grabbing a boob. A real, natural boob, too!...
Always, Always Be Wearing A Cup. Always.
All right, when a story starts with this lede ......
Leftovers: Ankiel Forever!
• Rick Ankiel is indestructible. We, for one, welcome our Ankiel overlord. [St. Louis Post-Dispatch] • The Sklar brothers are the least convincing Western sheriffs of all time. [The Sports Oasis] • It's all right to cry, Stephon; crying gets the feelings out. [RealGM] • Betting on Florida to repeat ...
Idaho, Remaining On The Cutting Edge Of Video Game Technology
So this is enough to make one happy: The cover boy for the new EA Sports NCAA Football 2008 game is ... Boise State quarterback Jared Zabransky!...
Ricky Williams, Now 57 Percent More Deep!
The ludicrously stretched gentleman here — if we could do that, we'd never leave the house! — is Ricky Williams, and if you're the type to never get tired of Ricky Williams stories, well, here's another one....
Beer Barons And Canadian Bloggers Just Can't Seem To Get Along
This man is Frank D'Angelo, a "beer baron" and general Canadian raconteur. He's also, oh, a bit of a dope. After Canadian blogger — bloggers are so cute when they're Canadian — Neate Sager at Out Of Left Field made fun of D'Angelo a few times, the phonetically challenged fellow sent a nasty "seize" ...
Pacman Can't Even Remember All His Arrests
Some more fun with Pacman Jones: It appears he is facing charges for obstructing police in Georgia, charges that his Titans bosses didn't even know about....
Barry Bonds Never Can Say Goodbye
The most telling exceprt from KGO radio's big interview with Barry Bonds on Tuesday? It wasn't that Bonds has apparently been getting death threats (there's enough nuts out there to make that sadly inevitable). Nor was it that Bonds says he feels "exhausted" (honestly, when hasn't he?). We're not ev...
Pacman Jones' Family, They Just Don't Understand
You know, it's one thing when a drug dealer is concerned about your personal safety. But jeez, when your family is this concerned about you, jeez, it's all over....
Leftovers: Lose The Finger!
• This, friends, is devotion to the game of cricket. [Deuce Of Davenport] • Jimmy Rollins is launching a record label. [All Hip Hop] • Tiger Woods is taking over Washington, D.C. [No One Appreciates Me] • If you're going to insult a female official, Cedric Maxwell, surely you can do better than the ...
Perhaps He Will Someday Be Played By Helen Mirren
As creepy as we find recruiting — "Hey, look, it's a 16-year-old! Let's make him strip to his underwear and sprint for us!" — we do enjoy the wide variety of personalities and segments of humanity the vaster scope of coverage affords us. The more people we meet, the more likely there's going to be s...
Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move
Click to view Robotic Beer Launching Refrigerator - The most amazing bloopers are here...
Jerry Glanville Is Movin' On Up
So you know how Jerry Glanville is now the defensive coordinator at Hawaii? That's a job that has always made sense; if you've made your money in football, and still want to be a part of it but don't want to live the insane, 20-hour-day of the modern coach, kicking back and coaching defense in Hawai...
Leftovers: The Return Of Reggie?
• Would Reggie Miller come back to the NBA? [Dallas Morning News] • Wheelchair flips are cool. [Our Book Of Scrap] • We absolutely support this coaching hire decision. [Kissing Suzy Kolber] • That's gross, Matta. [SporTech Matter] • No hajibs allowed on the soccer pitch. [National Post] • The PDF of...
Prepare For An Extra Half Hour Of College Football
Every Day Should Be Saturday points out that ESPN is launching a new daily college football show next season, and it has the oh-so-desirable timeslot of 3:30 in the afternoon, which, while preferable to "Rome Is Burning," is still indicative of ESPN thinking, as they put it, "assuming you're on the ...
Deadspin Field Trip: The AJ Daulerio Going Away Roast
About a month ago, our own AJ Daulerio wrote, in his Cultural Oddsmaker column, that he dreamed of one day having a roast in his honor. Little did he know that the wheels were already in motion for that very thing....
Praise The Lord And Pass The Seasoned Buckshot
It's a dilemma that has plagued hunters for centuries: When stalking in the woods, how do I keep deer from seeing me pray? The answer: The camo bible, guaranteed to fool even the most devout grouse, squirrel or beaver, so that you may blast them to Kingdom Come; just as God intended. We recommend th...