f Page 3655 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Oh Miller Don't Wanna Dance With Somebody
And thankfully, I won't have to watch him feel the heat with somebody. With somebody who (somebody who) loves him. Sigh....
Barbaro Fans Finally Go Too Far, Piss Off Dr. Richardson
We conclude our Barbaro coverage for 2006 with this message from Dr. Dean Richardson, chief surgeon of the University of Pennsylvania's New Bolton Center:...
Breaking News! Baseball Player Signs Ridiculous Contract!
I'm so excited to tell you this I might as well just copy and paste the fucker:...
I Got Nuttin But Love For You, Baby
I was planning on posting pics of Josh Scobee's shaved scrotum and Dwyane Wade's right-ass cheek, but The Mighty MJD sort of beat me to it. Instead, I offer this odd little video of Track and Field asses set to the musical beats of Heavy D & the Boyz's Nuttin But Love....
Curse Of The 1980s Giants Infield Continues
We are saddened this morning by reports of the death of former San Francisco Giants third baseman Chris Brown. We don't know what's going on with Giants infielders from the 1980s (Jose Uribe died in a car crash on Dec. 8), but Matt Williams, watch your back. Brown, who was Darryl Strawberry's teamma...
If Anything Is Going To Lure Karl Malone Out Of Retirement...
...it will almost certainly be the Memphis Grizzlies "Camo Night," being held tonight in conjunction with the Grizzlies vs. Bucks (and I bet that's not a coincidence) game tonight at the FedEx Forum. Fishermen and hunters of any animal (including little Mexican girls) are encouraged to attend the ...
Danny White And Herschel Walker Would Like To Wish You A Belated Merry Christmas
In case you needed a little push to take down the last of those Christmas decorations, this should stomp out your remaining holiday cheer. We offer you the 1986 Dallas Cowboys singing Christmas in Dallas, proving that there were other disasters besides the Challenger Space Shuttle and Iran-Contra th...
Car Penetrates Fred Smoot's Face
Fred Smoot's jaw is broken in five places as the result of a recent car accident, and he's out of the hospital and recovering, according to Vikings head coach Brad Childress. There aren't a lot of details available at the moment, but there is no reason to believe (well, not much reason, anyway) that...
Leftovers...
• Michael Jordan... still the most valuable playa. [Page Six] • You break wind, I'll break your face. [Yahoo! News] • It is not going to surprise anyone when Dennis Green gets canned. [Arizona Republic] • A hockey writer loves hockey fighting. As it turns out, beating someone's ass works as a deterr...
Doug Johnson Must Be Some Kind Of Douchebag
With a staggering 39% of the vote, Terrell Owens was the "winner" of an SI.com poll among NFL athletes on the subject of the league's most annoying player. Owens was one of only two players to get into a double digit percentage, the other being Joey Porter with a disappointing 10%....
Spit Shield Purchases Skyrocketing In North Carolina
Steelers head coach Bill Cowher, beloved in many places that are not Seattle, may have given some clues yesterday about his plans for the future. He didn't announce anything, but said he'd have something to say about it next week. If he was going to stay, though, why wait to say it?...
Michigan Legends Are Dropping Like Flies
To the best of my knowledge, there was never a band called "The Dead Gerald Fords," but if such a band does exist, they're going to have to change their name, too. Former President and center on the 1932 and 1933 national champion Michigan Wolverines football teams Gerald Ford died last night at the...
Leftovers: Phil Jackson Is A Traitor
• Shaq calls Phil "Benedict Arnold" [ESPN] • Yankees Shopping Big Unit [SI] • NFL Week 16 post mortem [Hater Nation] • When it's on ice, no one seems to mind a sucker punch. [The Big Lead] • Daunte Culpepper confronts Steve Young, Joe Theismann intervenes [Miami Herald]...
This Is Now A Mainstream Sport
John McCain once called the Ultimate Fighting Championship "human cockfighting." (He meant that in a bad way.) That was in the 1990s, and McCain was leading an effort to ban the sport....
Ref Played Bird, Quarterback Played Randy Johnson
Umpire Garth DeFelice couldn't get out of the way in time when Garrard threw a pass over the middle, and when he turned away from the ball, it hit him and he dropped like a sack of potatoes. DeFelice stayed on the ground for several minutes, but he eventually walked off the field. Garrard, showing c...
So Much Favre Love You'll Blow Your Head Off
By week 17 of the NFL season, most teams are either already locked into their playoff positions or already eliminated. That means the average NFL player cares as much about the 16th game of the season as Shaq cares about the 10th through 70th games of the NBA season....
LeftoverDome...
• The New York Giants are not doing their part to put those poor stripper girls through school. [The Big Lead] • The top seven Christmas character athletes. [Joe Sports Fan] • The two best fantasy basketball games of the year were played by Kobe Bryant. [RotoPoll] • How to best make use of Simpsons ...
NFL Week Sixteen, Update #1
• Texans 21, Colts 14. The latest running back to beat up the Colts defense... ladies and gentlemen, Ron Dayne. Dayne has 88 yards and two touchdowns in the first half, and the Texans lead the Colts, 21-14. Manning's been sharp, Addai's been productive, and Marvin is Marvin... but none of it matters...
It's A Big Day For The Millen Haters
The latest in Lions fan protests is happening, oh, any time now. At some point in the second quarter, Lions fans are urged to walk out of Ford Field en masse. The goal, I believe, is not necessarily to voice their anger with Matt Millen, but rather with the guy who won't fire him, team owner William...