f Page 3690 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Hugh Johnson Project, Update 1
• "There was a sign during Gameday this morning - "Charlie Weis: The Devil Lovechild of Jabba the Hut @ Rosie O'Donnell." - Lingering Bursitis...
Nothing Says "Sloth" Like A Long College Football Saturday
As has been established, tomorrow is a day for much gluttony/sloth/greed/skinny ladies' head in the box: seven pretty outstanding college football games. And no, we're not referring to Syracuse-Illinois. We are actually offended that the game is on television....
Leftovers: He Was On Steroids? Wha?
• The prosecutor in the Steve Foley case might be a bit of a jerk, even if the guy was drinking. [The Fanhouse] • Liriano won't be back this year, but at least, you know, he's keeping his arm. [Minneapolis Star-Tribune] • South Carolina quarterback free to keep bringing the young ladies into bars. [...
Never, Ever Bet On The Texans
In the wake of last week's free-furniture-if-the-Bears-shut-out-the-Packers promotion in Chicago, the folks at Gallery Furniture, the huge Texas furniture place that even hosts a bowl game from time to time, has decided to push all its chips to the middle of the table, 10-gallon hat style....
Taking One ... "Yeoooowwww, Kelly Clarkson!" ... For the Team
What with the price of gas and all, there apparently isn't a lot to do over at the Basney Honda in South Bend, Ind. So co-workers told Jason Gordon that they would chip in and get him two tickets to the Notre Dame-Michigan game, and all Gordon had to do to earn them was get a full body wax. Irish fa...
See, We Weren't Making It Up
So remember the Bubba Bobble Challenge Sex Doll Races tournament, in which the guy was disqualified for — get THIS! — having sex with his "raft?"...
If They Take Away Reggie Bush's Heisman, Did It Really Happen?
Like a lot of people, we're sure, when we initially saw Yahoo! Sports' report — you know, typing the "!" after "Yahoo" must feel a little silly when you're trying to report a serious story — about Reggie Bush allegedly receiving improper gifts from agents when he was at USC, we thought, "Jeez, they'...
"Yeah, You See, Laserdiscs Are The Future"
This guy is Jim Cantafio, and he, like all football coaches, at his high school level or otherwise, is vaguely unaware that there is a world outside of football, or even that there are people on the planet who have, in fact, never heard of football. ("Al-Qaeda people, and that sort.") But man, can h...
Imagine What They'll Call It When They Actually Use It
Far be it from us to pretend to be experts in branding, but this new marketing gimmick for the Cleveland Browns, obviously a "riff" (and "riff" is being generous) on the Steelers' Terrible Towel, is actually called The Dirty Brown Towel....
Leftovers: We Hope Billy Joe Brings Canned Goods
• U2 and Green Day, on "Monday Night Football," helping New Orleans, one hit single at a time. [Time.com] • Get cast in an ESPN movie! [Play] • Looking for a party in Pittsburgh this weekend? This is absolutely the place to be. [Pittsburgh Dish] • Frank Thomas is awfully cheap for an MVP candidate. ...
OK, We Get Dibs On The Vikings
For those who find the pace of Madden '07 a little too frantic, here's some good — that is to say, fake — news. Introducing Madden Bye-Week '07, in which you control your various NFL players' off-the-field activities during their team's bye week. We're still waiting for our copy, but the "reviewer" ...
Return To Irreverence!
We knew the Oakland Raiders were going to be a source of consistent amusement throughout this season, through ineptitude, disorganization or simple befuddlement, but we didn't quite expect it to happen so soon....
No Better Reason To Get In A Bar Fight Than This One
This pasty fellow, described by Every Day Should Be Saturday as "so aggressively white that bleach is afraid of him," is South Carolina quarterback Blake Mitchell, who was arrested after a bar fight early Wednesday morning....
Leftovers: Whole Lotta Ducks
• The many permutations of uniforms in Oregon. [Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer] • Thanks to Mr. Forde over at ESPN, here's the Ohio State punk band. Yep. [Dead Schembechlers] • Jamie Foxx just shows up at college gyms, wondering if anybody wants to ball, we guess. [GW Hatchet] • Is tonight the differen...
Unfortunately, It Appears Emmitt's Going To Be On This Show For A While
Last night, Emmitt Smith continued his inevitable decline into post-athlete career depression by "shining" on "Dancing With The Stars," impressing the judges with his ... aw, jeez, we can't even type this without feeling bad about ourselves and everything about sports....
It's Like Tonya Harding, But Less Manly
It must be frustrating to be a backup punter. Most football players don't even consider the starting punter a real part of the team; the backup punter might as well be the waterboy. It must cause all kinds of anger and frustration, but you're a punter, so you can't express it. Lots of repressed rage...
Chad Johnson Is A Chicken Dance Maestro
As many have pointed out before, the vast majority of hardcore NFL fans have never attended an actual game in person. Factors include the rarity of games, the high ticket expense and the fear that someone in a dog mask will steal your wheelchair....
Dr. Z Hangs Out With Swimsuit Models
We know, we know: The unconditional love for SI scribe Rick Reilly's "Riffs Of Reilly" segment — sample comedic genius moment: "USC's quarterback is John David Booty and Texas' is Colt McCoy. Hey, weren't both those guys on 'Gunsmoke?'" Oh, Rick, you slay us! — makes you think that SI.com must be so...
Leftovers: From Favre To Koren
• Welcome to Green Bay, Mr. Robinson. There is fortunately no booze in Wisconsin. [10,000 Takes] • Those Gators sure do get hungry! [Florida Today] • After Week 1, which franchise seems the most obviously doomed? [Fortress Of Pillows] • The YWML T-shirt hits Mississippi and SEC football! [ClayNation...
Everybody Needs Some Tailgating Backup
We know those who use wheelchairs are capable of doing just about anything that those who can stand and walk can do; we suspect some of you are doing that very thing right now. Unless you're trying to get to the upper deck of RFK Stadium, nothing should stand in your way as a sports fan....