f Page 3739 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Playoff Pants Party: Jaguars Vs. Patriots
This is the late game tomorrow night, which means, if you plan your day correctly, you should be properly hammered enough by halftime to confuse that dude in the corner with some ex-girlfriend who did you wrong. (Or, for female and non-traditional male readers, uh ... OK, we're not sure what the ...
Coach Janky Spanky: Cliffs Notes Version
We know this has already been covered here, but, honestly, we're still so blown away by Clinton Portis' performance as "Coach Janky Spanky" yesterday that we feel obliged to point out the highlights for those of you who haven't had the pleasure of watching it yet. Here's a cheat sheet....
Playoff Pants Party: Redskins Vs. Buccaneers
The NFL playoffs start this weekend, and we can't wait. We'll be previewing all four games throughout the day today....
New Vikings Coach Sporting Rare Mustache/Baldness Combo
Today, the Minnesota Vikings will announce that Eagles offensive coordinator Brad Childress will be their new coach, or, if you can't resist making the same joke everybody else is making this morning, captain of their ship. Childress has been with the Eagles for seven years, and, having seen Requi...
Portis Becoming Subtle Character Actor
We've witnessed the newest Clinton Portis character, and we have to say, even though the costume leaves much to be desired, it might be our favorite one yet....
Jamar Smith Fever, People: Catch It
Our father knows us very well, so when we went home for the holidays, he bought us the best gift we can remember receiving: A Illini jersey T-shirt of Jamar Smith. Who's Jamar Smith, you ask? Oh, you'll know very soon. He's the Illini's freshman shooting guard whose 3-point touch is like a tip-in....
Leftovers: Employ The Elderly Edition
• Bills hire Marv Levy as VP of football operations, bring in Wilford Brimley as Dir. of Marketing. [Buffalo Bills Review] • Seahawks' Alexander wins NFL MVP, annoying Lil' Ronnie no end, yo. [The No Huddle Offense] • Joe Horn's revenge: Falcons' Mora fined $25 thousand for using cell phone. [The Mi...
Hey, Saints, We Put Together A Little Dance For You
We don't want to imply that you should have another reason to root for the Redskins this weekend other than Clinton Portis' weekly exploits, but in case you need one, try this: Last week, in the Bucs' win over the Saints, the Raymond James Stadium loudspeakers played The Scorpions' "Rock Me Like A...
Support Michelle Kwan's Right To Fall Down
We're not going to get in the habit of talking about figure skating around these parts, but we will confess, we taken much interest and, yes, enjoyment, in the plight of Professional Face Of Figure Skating Michelle Kwan....
Blogdom's Best: Hating The Maple Leafs
Imagine the most hateful sports fans you can think of, stuck indoors because of the frigid weather, allowing their fury to boil. Now give them large sticks. That's your typical NHL fan, just looking for a reason to hate the opposing team. Throw in that whole Canada-USA rivalry thing, and you've go...
The Tragic Muzzling Of Chad Johnson
Well, it's the week before the Cincinnati Bengals' first playoff game in 15 years, and they're hosting it, against the hated division rival Pittsburgh Steelers. Man, oh, man, wide receiver Chad Johnson must be going crazy, right? What's he gonna do? Score a touchdown and smelt some ore? Strap on B...
Blogdome: Rose Bowl Edition
What they're saying on the Texas and USC blogs, the morning after ... • Burnt Orange Nation. "We're Number One! I embraced total strangers tonight the way I do my own family, and I came very close to crying tears of joy." • IndieWIRE SXSW. "Horns Win! The city of Austin is alive tonight." • Longho...
Rose Bowl: The Morning After
All right, all right, it's the morning after, and we still can't quite believe that game last night. Some more thoughts as we recover:...
Vince Young Becomes A Legend
We just watched one of the most incredible games we've ever seen, and we certainly hope you did too....
National "Title" Pants Party: Longhorns Vs. Trojans
It so rarely happens that even though we obviously need a playoff, it's pretty much impossible not to get excited about tonight's Rose Bowl BCS "title" game between Southern California and Texas. (We still hope the first quarter goes like this.) Hell, it's so exciting even the President was consi...
Leftovers: You Were Supposed to Fire Millen!
• Bills fire president Donahoe, hire ancient and wise Levy as consultant. [Buffalo Bills Review] • Kwan hurt, pulls out U.S. Nationals. Gillooley not involved this time. [USA Today] • This is bogus, man! Brady: Patriots have been "disrespected." [Sports. Music. Blog.] • Swann to declare candidacy fo...
Are The Buckeyes In Trouble Again?
We don't want to overstep our bounds here — no, really — but we've been hearing a pretty persistant rumor in recent days concerning the Ohio State football program. If the rumors are true, be on the lookout for potential sanctions against the Buckeyes, with the offenses ranging from taking tests f...
Clinton Portis' Supermarket Sweep
Ever wonder what Clinton Portis might do if given $10,000 to spend in a Best Buy in the span of half an hour? Jeez, who hasn't?...
Maurice Clarett's Experienced Defense Team
Today's Maurice Clarett update: The "troubled" — that is to say, "known for pretty much everything other than being a football player — posted a $50,000 bond to be released after his charges of aggravated robbery. We'll put aside for a moment how a guy with little discernible income over the last ...
Culpepper: Lap Dances? Who, Me?
We don't want to overstate — and it probably won't happen, anyway — but if Vikings sex boat gods Daunte Culpepper and Bryant McKinnie get their way, we might be in for the real trial of the century....