family Page 9 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

And Now The Paterno Family Is Appealing The NCAA Sanctions Themselves
Onward State has the complete letter the family sent this afternoon to the NCAA, but here's the gist:...

Not Even Kate Middleton's Family Is Safe From The Olympic Branding Gestapo
We all know the Olympic folk are very touchy about their trademarks. No non-sponsor companies allowed in the Olympic village. No posting Facebook photos or Youtube videos from the games. No small businesses using any two of the terms "Olympic, London, 2012, summer, or games."...

When You Kiss The Ladies, Do It On Camera: How Richard Dawson Beat Bob Barker And Everyone Else
Richard Dawson is not dead. He is available on Television, which is now available on the Internet....

Which One's The Crackpot? Which One's The Lesbian? Know Your Rickettses, The Politically Active Cubs Owners
The newspaper headlines make it seem like the Chicago Cubs owner is up to no good. "Cubs Owner Ricketts' Anti-Obama Ad Proposal Risks Stadium Growth." "Report: Emanuel 'livid' with Cubs owner after soliciting Jeremiah Wright attack ad proposal." Sounds like this Mr. Ricketts has really vexed some fo...

Usain Bolt Vs. Prince Harry In The 25-Meter: Who Ya Got?
If you picked the one wearing the Jamaica shirt—you'd be right, actually, despite his gingerness. It's just good form to let royalty win. Even Princess Diana's riding instructor used to let her be on top every once in a while....

Illinois Sophomore Meyers Leonard Gets Surprise Visit From Marine Brother
This happened way back on Thursday at the Illinois shootaround leading up to the Illini's game with Michigan game on ESPN. Meyers' older brother, Bailey, surprised Meyers as he returned from a tour of duty in Afghanistan. It was the first time the brothers had seen each other since last summer....

Tebowing In The Age Of Lin: A Complete-That-Caption Contest
When tipster Taylor B. sent this photo in at 8:38 p.m., Feb. 14, 2012, he did two things wrong. First, he wrote, "Trust me, my mom thought this was actually a really sweet idea," and that's nothing but a preemptive strike. Second, the subject line of the email was "A family that Tebows together..."...

"His Schlong" Was An Actual Answer On Tonight's <em>Family Feud</em>
If it's Monday, it means a sex reference on a game show. After last week's Donkey Punch incident on Jeopardy!, we present to you an answer nobody guessed to the Family Feud question (okay, the clues on that show are actually imperatives) "Name something an airline pilot might be holding on a long...

This Guy Died This Year: Bil Keane, Comics Paterfamilias
Bil Keane was known, among his fellow professional cartoonists, as a funny, funny man. His life's work, in The Family Circus, was to hide that fact from as many people as possible. Day after day, decade after decade, The Family Circus delivered the mildest gags imaginable—observational humor minus t...

The Lockout Is Forgiven, Now That We Have This Photo Of Hedo Turkoglu and Stan Van Gundy
We no longer even care where Chris Paul goes, or where Dwight Howard goes, or if they actually ever play basketball. This photo exists, and that's enough. [Orlando Sentinel]...

New Abuse Allegation Against Jerry Sandusky Came From A Family Member, His Lawyer Says
More disquieting news from the Patriot-News, which is withholding the details of the child's familial relationship to Sandusky: "The attorney for Jerry Sandusky says one of the two new cases of alleged sexual abuse under investigation by Children and Youth Services was made by a family member. ... T...

This Evening: Instead Of The Start Of The NBA Season, There's Chris Paul On <em>Family Feud</em>
Your p.m. roundup for Nov. 1, the day we HOLY SHIT STILETTO IMPLANTS. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Dead Comedian Of The Week: Vaughn Meader, Assassination Victim
For Comedy Week, we're running a handful of tributes in the vein of our Dead Wrestler of the Week series. Here, Alexander Woo, a writer and co-executive producer for HBO's True Blood, eulogizes Vaughn Meader, the wildly popular JFK impersonator whose star plummeted after the assassination of his sub...

Dook Sisters Go To Court Over Who's Dookier
The daughter of a Duke alumnus has filed a lawsuit against her sister, her brother-in-law, and Duke University for her inherited right to sit among these fine young men and women at Cameron Indoor Stadium all season long. Katina Dorton is seeking damages for the "fraudulent transfer" of two season t...

There's A New Shawn Kemp In Town, Seattle
Shawn Kemp, Jr. (not pictured), a 6'9" center from Canton, Georgia has signed with the Washington Huskies and has already started classes at the university. It's not the Sonics, but it is a Kemp. [ESPN]...

Joe Girardi Explains Growing Old Together To Jorge Posada While His Mistress Bats Leadoff
A play, courtesy of the New York Yankees, in six vexing acts:...

Kings Have At Least One More Year Of Mediocre Basketball Ahead Of Them In Sacramento
"We're going to stay in Sacramento for another year," Kings co-owner George Maloof said today. "We appreciate [the fans'] loyalty to the franchise, and we're going to give Mayor [Kevin] Johnson another try to hopefully bring his vision to reality with a new arena." The vision had better include mone...

NBA Selects Man Who Relocated The Sonics And Lied About It To Head Relocation Committee
It gets worse for Sacramento. David Stern has appointed Clay Bennett, second-most hated man of Seattle and 2008 Oklahoman of the Year, to lead its Relocation Committee. The deadline for the Kings decision has also been extended to May 2....

The Cowbell Tolls For The Sacramento Kings
The Kings played what was likely their final game in Sacramento last night, and it ended in a 116-108 overtime loss to the Lakers. The finality of the night, along with a sell-out crowd that showed the kind of affection and made the kind of noise you'd never find at the Staples Center 400 miles so...

Steven Pearl Laughs On Twitter At Dad's UT Replacement
You didn't really expect Bruce Pearl and kin to exit Knoxville quietly, with great dignity, especially when Tennessee didn't wait a full week before hiring a replacement, Cuonzo Martin, did you?...