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Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update And T-Shirt Sales Pitch
Last Friday was not a good day for the Knox City Greyhounds. In fact, per superfan Chad McGhee, "it went bad." Like 54-8 bad. "Nightmare on Elm Street" bad. "I pray to the Lord that this team regroups and gets their heads out of their asses hopefully" bad....

This Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions
Writes tipster Fighting Polish, this is "a picture of the Get Well card my 11-year-old niece made for my mother. That, of course, is a 'Thermometer-man.' Interesting to note that Thermometer-man has a thermometer in his mouth. Also, he looks exactly like a big, hairy-headed dong."...

This Week In Magnificent Mugshots
This is Nicholas Fiumetto. He's one of three 19-year-olds from Covina, Cal. who got caught stealing 30 packs of Tecate the other day. Well, that's an oversimplification. Here's a portion of the L.A. Times story about Fiumetto et al's attempted flight from justice:...

Former Orioles Pitcher Mike Flanagan Threatened To Commit Suicide Several Times Before Doing So
The Baltimore Sun is reporting, based on police records released via Public Information Act request, that Cy Young Award winner and Orioles broadcaster Mike Flanagan's suicide did not come as a complete surprise to those closest to him....

Fan Throws A Banana Peel At Black Player In Tonight's Flyers/Red Wings Game
Some bottom-of-the-barrel jitbag chose tonight's NHL preseason game in London, Ontario between the Philadelphia Flyers and Detroit Red Wings to remind us all of racism's effects on black hockey players like Wayne Simmonds....

Bryan Stow Speaks His First Words Since Dodger Stadium Beating
Great update via the website through which Bryan Stow's family keeps the world apprised of how his recovery from a brutal beating outside Dodger Stadium is going....

Presenting What Could Be The First Nasty Face-To-Boards Hit Of The NHL Preseason
Jody Shelley of the Philadelphia Flyers (for now) logged 6:27 of ice time in a preseason game against the Toronto Maple Leafs before he was asked to retire to the locker room for the evening....

If You're Comfortable Watching Girls Run Facefirst Into Soccer Goalposts, Watch This
This young girl goalkeeper was woefully out of position when an opposing forward took a quality shot. In attempting to stop said shot, the young girl goalkeeper's forehead met the goalpost with authority. And yes, classy dad who pipes up at the end, it appears she is "done already."...

Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update
When KFDX from Wichita Falls, Texas needed someone to shout-out the big Knox City/Newcastle game last weekend, they knew Chad McGhee was the man for them....

This Is Why You Suck, Lakers Fans
We saw this license plate on Reddit, and we tried to find an alternate explanation. Maybe they thought LeBron would sign with the Lakers. Maybe it's a used car and they got a license plate frame but haven't changed the plate yet. Maybe the guy's name is Louis Bron, and his birthday is February 3rd....

NFL Sends Strongly-Worded Memo To Teams Telling Them To Stop Faking Injuries, Please
The league has already said they won't discipline Deon Grant or the Giants for their mysterious incapacitation that just happened to stall the Rams' no-huddle offense on Monday night. An NFL spokesman admitted there's no way to prove when injuries are fake, so unless a player admits their duplicit...

Transgender Brawl In San Antonio Involves One Person Slamming Another Into A News Van
"A fistfight broke out overnight in a convenience store parking lot right next to a KENS 5 news truck, and one of the two combatants was later arrested. San Antonio police had to use a taser on a transgender individual who had been involved in the heated fight. ... Investigators said the suspect h...

Presenting Your Larry Merchant Photoshop Winner, Runner-Up And Honorable Mentions
Boxing stumblentator Larry Merchant took to the ring after Floyd Mayweather got headbutted, dropped the headbuttist with two quick blasts of questionable fury and broiled in the stew of booing judgement. There was no question that something magical was about to occur....

Mike Stanton Hit The Ball About 900 Feet Last Night
The Marlins don't do distance estimates, so we'll never know precisely how dead Stanton killed the ball. But rest assured, he killed it very dead....

This Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions
This week is an example of quality over quantity in the realm of unintentional dong submissions. Many were submitted, few made it through quality control....

Joe Morgan Led The World's Largest Chicken Dance With Attractive Ladies In German Dresses Yesterday
Oktoberfest Zinzinnati got underway in Cincinnati yesterday. In addition to "music from Bavarian band Musikkapelle Hopfenblaesers" and "The World Bratwurst Eating Championship," there was revelry and there was dance....

Photoshop Contest: Larry Merchant On The Edge
Larry Merchant had a little word war with Floyd Mayweather after Mayweather's controversial victory over Victor Ortiz last night. But when he turned to the camera, he gave an expression for the ages. For all ages. For many situations....

Here's Ringside Video Of The Controversial Mayweather/Ortiz Fourth Round (UPDATE)
From NESW Sports, "This youtuber was sitting near the front row, and he caught an awesome vid of the end of this fight that will, at the very least, be talked about for some time. Mayweather wins by knockout. But how did we get there?"...

This Is What Larry Merchant Looked Like Before Telling Floyd Mayweather He'd Kick His Ass In 1961
Victor Ortiz headbutted Floyd Mayweather as the fourth round was coming to an end. Then, Mayweather knocked him out with two shots that most consider the cheapest of shots he's thrown in his career....

Here's UConn's Official Statement About The Iowa State Mascot Fiasco
UConn sports information director Mike Enright just emailed with an official comment about Iowa State's Cy the Mascot's broken arm. Here's what he wrote (the bold is his emphasis):...