Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update And T-Shirt Sales Pitch

Last Friday was not a good day for the Knox City Greyhounds. In fact, per superfan Chad McGhee, "it went bad." Like 54-8 bad. "Nightmare on Elm Street" bad. "I pray to the Lord that this team regroups and gets their heads out of their asses hopefully" bad.

"In six-man football, the philosophy is get the quickest track stars you can and if they find the holes, they're gone. Spur had one guy who could do just that," Chad says. "They ran. All. Over. Us. And it was homecoming which made it worse."

As for that quick hole-finding guy, Chad stopped counting after five TDs. He's also been getting some guff about his supreme fandom.

"I'm feeling the heat, feeling the pressure, If I could suit up and go out there, I would. But these guys are supposed to suit up, go out there and do their jobs. They have to do it," he said.

Anyway, No. 7 – "Tyler Eaton, not sure how to spell it" – done got the top of his helmet smashed down onto his nose. "Crunched it, flat as a pancake. Blood all over the place," was how Chad painted the Bissinger-esque picture.

The 1-4 Greyhounds face the 0-4 Woodson Cowboys this Friday, while Chad continues preparing for his charity wrestling match, his big speech at the Nov. 4 pep rally and selling "Dominate, Annihilate and Assassinate" T-shirts on his new website, which you should totally check out.