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Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update
As you probably already know, the Knox City Greyhounds lost their season opener to Crowell 47-36....

Derek Jeter Was Kind Of A Computer Geek (And Other Things We Learned From His High School Yearbooks)
Derek Jeter attended Kalamazoo Central High School in the early nineties, where he was a two-sport athlete, a "royal couple" in the Winterfest Court, and a computer lab tutor (we can only surmise that it was still safe for the star jock to be a computer geek because nobody really knew what computers...

You Still Can't Look At A Danny Woodhead Press Conference Photo Without Thinking "Awww..."
Don't worry: Danny says his head still feels fine and he will scamper his way into the back-pocket of America again real soon. Aww. [Rich Eisen]...

The One Where We Buy A Photo Of Jay Mariotti Walking With A Woman For $3.32
Welcome back to Deleted Scenes. This space is now reserved for those scuzz-money entrepreneurs who've unsuccessfully tried to sell us prurient information. This is also where we'll run notable emails we've received from some of our readers. All emails are [sic]'d. Enjoy. ...

And Now One Of The Most Mesmerizing Female Street Scuffles Ever (NSFW)
Sorry. I just couldn't stop watching it. I tried. Swear. [DeadspinJr.]...

Tiki Barber Finally Proposes To Young Blonde Blamed For Destroying His First Marriage
Since Tiki's attempts at joining an NFL team this season appear to have stalled, he's got more time to focus on other things in his life like finalizing his divorce from his wife Ginny and making an honest gal out of 24-year-old Traci Johnson, the former NBC intern who stole his heart two years ago....

Serena Williams Cannot Really Recall That Line Judge Incident From "Like, Two Years Ago"
Remember that time at the 2009 U.S. Open, when Serena Williams told a line judge she was going to shove a tennis ball down her throat? Of course you do. Everyone remembers. Except for Serena....

More Leaked Shaq Emails: "We Dnt Want Them Do What They R Doing To Tiger"
If we all thought we might be in danger of having our emails leaked to the general public, we might write our emails differently. We might, for example, not exchange hypothetical emails with our hypothetical agents asking him to cover up hypothetical stories relating our infidelity. We might, hypoth...

This Week In Non-Hurricane Unintentional-Dong Picture Submissions
Just because one part of the country is getting rainy and windy and floody and scaredy and buy-y milky and bready becausey of hypey — translation: chock full of hurricane dong — the other unintentional-dong submissions should not lose their inherent import....

Unfortunately, Photo Of Giant Shark Swimming Through Flooded Puerto Rico Street Is Fake
But, jeez, how awesome would that be. Sharks, poisonous snakes, giant squid, killer whales, all swooshed into the empty highways looking for abandoned motorists to maim and swallow. Sigh. It would have been excellent.[WaPo]...

Here Are A Few Hurricane Dong Submissions, One Weather Channel Real-Dong Photobomb And A Hurricane Nipple
Make no mistake about it: National Hurricane Center Deputy Director Ed Rappaport set a very high bar for Hurricane Irene dong submissions. In fact, tipster Brian simply wrote, "The end."...

Tastes Like Sugarpova: Deadspin's 2011 U.S. Open Preview
For two weeks every year, hardened New Yorkers become prissy tennis fans, and Queens—not the Bronx—becomes the sports capital of the Big Apple. You could argue that the U.S. Open is, perennially, the biggest sporting event in New York, with the possible exceptions of the '94 Rangers-Knicks run and 2...

Bruce Pearl Hosts BBQ To Address NCAA Sanctions For BBQ He Once Hosted
On Wednesday, the NCAA announced that it would penalize former Tennessee men's basketball coach Bruce Pearl with a three-year show-cause penalty. The decision, which effectively shuts him out of a college coaching job for three years, is a result of infractions Pearl committed during his tenure at U...

Here's Video Of MLB.com's Fantasy 411 Guys Coming To Grips With The Earthquake
Thanks to the chaps over at BroBible for sending this footage of MLB Network's Jeremy Brisiel, Cory Schwartz, and Mike Siano at the moment their studio started shaking Tuesday afternoon. Say they, "The look of doom and gloom on Cory Schwartz's face is a thing of beauty." And they're right. It is....

If You're Going To Pick A Fight With A Memphis Transit Security Guard, Make Sure It's Not The MMA Fighter-In-Training
When a Memphis Area Transit Authority security guard beat the piss out of some chump who was harassing the ladies outside a downtown station, the local ABC affiliate did God's work....

Boise State Will Allow Detroit High School To Have Blue Turf As Long As They Don't Call It "Blue Turf"
Boise State is very particular about their turf, which is blue, and the name of their turf ("blue turf"), because no one in college football has turf quite like them (in that their turf is blue). Most turfs, you see, are green....

More Leaked Shaq Emails: "Where Can I Cum At When I C U"?
Dominica Westling is famous for being, in her own website's words, "a gorgeous Swedish model turned Hollywood actress." For the past few years, she's also been referred to—by news reports and cash-hungry publicists alike—as Shaquille O'Neal's mistress....

Report: Mike Flanagan Killed Himself Over 'Prolonged Failure' Of The Baltimore Orioles (Updated)
WBAL reports that former Orioles pitcher Mike Flanagan, television announcer and top executive, was found dead on his Baltimore County property Wednesday afternoon and that sources confirmed that Flanagan took his own life 'despondent over what he considered a false perception from a community he ...

If You Have To Get Arrested, Driving While Drinking A Beer And Receiving Oral Sex Isn't A Bad Way To Go
Thanks to The Smoking Gun, we can all meet George Howard, a Kentucky man arrested this morning for some shenanigans involving a 2006 Ford on the outskirts of Louisville. Johnny Law intervened after seeing Howard's ride allegedly collide with a curb....

Big Fan Chad McGhee Wants You Join Him To Watch The Knox City Greyhounds Reach For Football Immortality
Much has changed for Chad McGhee since he was hereby nominated for consideration as the biggest high-school football fan in the history of the game. ...