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The Bizarre Cult Of Pro-Owner NFL Fanboys
Here's a tidy summation of how we've managed to get to where we are with the NFL lockout. A few years ago, the players and owners agreed to a new CBA, with only Ralph Wilson and Mike Brown voting against the agreement, in Wilson's case because he's old and easily confused by things....
Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part II: "... His Tongue Raging Against His Boss's"
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit hears the bell tolling. (For those of you keeping track, this is "We Are All Dave McKenna XCVI.")...
Announcer Stays Cool As Foul Ball Smashes Into Press Box
At a game last month, Southern Illinois University Edwardsville announcer Joe Pott maintained his composure and his baritone has a ball came through the window at him. Keep an eye on this guy, folks. [h/t Daryl]...
Everything You Wanted To Know About Porn, Weed, And Toilets In Afghanistan, Courtesy A Platoon Leader
That photo of an anonymous U.S. soldier standing in front of a whole shitload of weed was taken by a platoon leader in Afghanistan with the Gawker handle Lono. He emailed me recently to clarify a number of things about fighting overseas, namely the quality of local porn, the abundance of local weed,...
Robert "Tractor" Traylor, Greatest 300-Pound Dunker Of Our Time, Is Dead At 34
Robert "Tractor" Traylor, former high school All-American, University of Michigan star, and NBA player, was reportedly found dead in his apartment in Isla Verde, Puerto Rico today. His current team, Vaqueros de Bayamon, posted the news on their Facebook page and requested that the team's next game...
Patrick Kane's Offseason Begins With A Black Eye, Taking A Girl Home From A Club
Oh Kaner. We take a lot of shit for giving you shit, but you keep giving us shit to give you shit for....
Ole Miss Students Have Laptops Stolen, Mom Of Young Thief Writes Cryptic Apology Letter To Them
I don't know what to make of this odd letter that came to us today. The email it was attached to gives some more of the zany details and, if it's true, it's remarkably fucked up....
Why Hockey Has Gone Totally Gay For The Latest Homophobia Debate
Hockey, for a sport that's nominally proactive in areas ranging from replay to concussions, has never been especially progressive. No one expects the openly gay pro athlete, the inevitable big story for the next decade, to come from the NHL. While other leagues have John Amaechi and Billy Bean and E...
Did Osama Bin Laden Have Porn?
I used an electric nose hair trimmer for the first time the other day. It was oddly titillating. Now my nostrils are hollowed out like Nikki Tyler. It's almost too much oxygen for me to handle in one load....
The Thunder And The Grizzlies Gave Us A Special Kind Of "Classic" Last Night
The Memphis Grizzlies have been typecast, ever since we decided they were relevant enough to be typecast at all, as the unlikely success story with an unlikely GM and an advertised bad streak. They have "blue collar players" for a "blue collar town." The Oklahoma City Thunder, meanwhile, have slid...
Lacrosse Hail Mary Video Makes Me Interested In Lacrosse For A Hot Second
Gonzaga (HS in DC) clinched their conference title with a length-of-the-field hurl with 10 seconds left. I like this a lot more than those indoor lacrosse league that try to sell me on the fighting....
Rafael Nadal Hits A Perfectly Placed Lob From Between His Legs, Just Because He Can
Here's Rafa just havin' some fun on his home court at the Madrid Open yesterday, in his straight-set loss to Novak Djokovic. This is the "statement shot" of tennis; like basketball's behind-the-back pass or soccer's nutmeg, its sole purpose is to say, without saying it, "look at what I can do." On...
The Lakers Were Classless Yesterday, According To The Cue Cards Magic Johnson Is Reading
An alternate interpretation: "I am not. Reading from cue. Cards. Next card. I am saying. Original thoughts. That I have thought. I am doing. My very best. To sound somber and. Grave. By dramatically spacing. My words. Is it. Working."...
The Lakers Had A Group Meltdown In Honor Of Phil Jackson's Final Game
Let's avoid speculating about why the Lakers are avoiding Kobe Bryant on the court, and why Pau Gasol broke it off with his girlfriend, and how those two things may or may not be related and may or may not have lead to this 4-0 sweep, and just point out that Los Angeles played like a team — despit...
Deadspin Classic: How Everyone Decided Delonte West Was Boinking LeBron's Mom
Around this time last year, everyone was seeking an explanation for LeBron James's poor playoff performance. They found it, in the form of a bizarre Gloria James/LeBron James/Delonte West love triangle. Happy Mother's Day, everyone....
The <em>New York Times</em> Pushes Up Its Glasses, Issues Nerdiest Correction Ever
I'll just let the Times explain:...
Your Official Deadspin Kentucky Derby Picks
I like Archarcharch (based on that stretch-running 98 Beyer fig in the Arkansas Derby) and Mucho Macho Man (who finished third in the Louisiana Derby despite leaving his shoe at the gate), and I'll box them in the exacta with Shackleford (who ran a smart second in the Florida Derby)....
Ron Artest Presents The Art Of Dodging A Question
Ron Artest is suspended for Game 3 following his spontaneous clothesline job on J.J. Barea on Wednesday. After the Lakers' practice today, reporters begged him to take responsibility for leaving his team without their defensive specialist and trailing two games to zero as they head to Dallas tonig...
Great Moments In Bad Handjobs
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
What Would A 16-Man NBA One-On-One Tournament Look Like?
Back in February, right after Blake Griffin did that car-dunking thing, I talked with Craggs about doing a post outlining a potential 16-man one-on-one NBA tournament. This is because when you have to bring out a fucking car as a dunking prop, your dunk contest has probably outlived its usefulness. ...