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Deadspin Classic: How Everyone Decided Delonte West Was Boinking LeBron's Mom
Around this time last year, everyone was seeking an explanation for LeBron James's poor playoff performance. They found it, in the form of a bizarre Gloria James/LeBron James/Delonte West love triangle. Happy Mother's Day, everyone....

The <em>New York Times</em> Pushes Up Its Glasses, Issues Nerdiest Correction Ever
I'll just let the Times explain:...

Your Official Deadspin Kentucky Derby Picks
I like Archarcharch (based on that stretch-running 98 Beyer fig in the Arkansas Derby) and Mucho Macho Man (who finished third in the Louisiana Derby despite leaving his shoe at the gate), and I'll box them in the exacta with Shackleford (who ran a smart second in the Florida Derby)....

Ron Artest Presents The Art Of Dodging A Question
Ron Artest is suspended for Game 3 following his spontaneous clothesline job on J.J. Barea on Wednesday. After the Lakers' practice today, reporters begged him to take responsibility for leaving his team without their defensive specialist and trailing two games to zero as they head to Dallas tonig...

Great Moments In Bad Handjobs
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

What Would A 16-Man NBA One-On-One Tournament Look Like?
Back in February, right after Blake Griffin did that car-dunking thing, I talked with Craggs about doing a post outlining a potential 16-man one-on-one NBA tournament. This is because when you have to bring out a fucking car as a dunking prop, your dunk contest has probably outlived its usefulness. ...

The Infuriating Consistency Of Dirk Nowitzki's Step-Back Jump Shot
If I were a real Lakers fan, which is a thing I've been told exists somewhere, and I had to watch the Dallas Mavericks handily beat my team at home twice in a week, then I would place an inordinate amount of rage in watching Dirk Nowitzki make shots like this one....

We Are All Dave McKenna XC (Introducing Our Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Fiction)
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Daniel Snyder's dumbass libel suit is dissected in a science class on stupidity. Today, we commence our Dan Snyder group fiction. Read an explanation here, if you haven't alr...

Here's Charles Barkley With The Worst Golf Swing Ever
It was Charles's first swing of the day, too. Nice try, Haney....

This Horrific Leg Injury From An Australian Football Game Will Make You Hate Sports Forever
We trust that you know yourself well enough to fairly judge whether or not you want to see this gruesome clip, especially just before lunch. You might want to wait until after you've had your sub. Or maybe you don't want to watch it at all. It's up to you. What you need to decide for yourself is w...

A Special Graduation Message To The Class of 2011
Every year, thousands of young Americans graduate from college. And every year, those poor wretched hungover bastards are forced to sit out in some quad in million-degree heat to listen to a mildly famous person yammer on and on for hours about how these kids will change the world and all that bulls...

Philly Gave Jayson Werth A Conflicted Standing Ovation Last Night
Jayson Werth, D.C.-area multi-millionaire, had his first at-bat at Citizens Park since the December 2010 deal last night. He was treated to a standing ovation of sorts, one that was one-part mostly-genuine strained clapping and one-part all-out disgusted booing (which quieted, slightly, when he ti...

Derrick Rose, NBA MVP, Thanks His Mother And Warms Our Frigid Hearts
Chicago's Derrick Rose was named the NBA's 2010-11 Most Valuable Player today. He is the youngest MVP in league history. Rose delivered remarks to members of the Chicago media this afternoon; he sounded perhaps nervous and certainly young, because he is. But he was careful to take the time to than...

Retiring Beer League Softball Commish Would Like To Thank Himself For All His Hard Work And Dedication
Lucky for us and our readers, half of all intramural sports participants join up just to get in touch with their inner asshole. I suspect that most of these individuals are tolerable for most of the day, but once they throw on a T-shirt with a number on the back something changes inside them. Like t...

Listen To This Cricket Announcer Describe A Ball Heading Directly For His Face
Edward Bevan, cricket announcer for BBC Sport Wales, nearly dodged a ball hit into the announcer's booth by a Somerset player on Monday. More impressively, he narrated its approach: "It's coming up, is it going to hit us?" Bevan manages, and then you hear the kind of glass-smashing sound effect you ...

Your Special Edition Dead Bin Laden Funbag
Before we get to your letters, kudos to TMZ for asking if Obama had victory sex on Sunday Night. Because he totally should have. His seaman should have conducted a forceful raid of his wife's compound to celebrate that news....

The Internet Has Already Killed Osama Bin Laden Getting Killed
It's been, what — 20 hours since President Obama approached the microphone to deliver the news that Osama bin Laden had been captured and killed? But the internet has not rested. The internet has produced its usual batch of meme videos, including keyboard cat, Taiwanese animation, and of course, t...

College Students Celebrate Bin Laden's Death With Patriotic Backflips, Nudity, Beer: A Gallery
In celebration of the fact that Osama bin Laden was announced dead last night, American college students everywhere took it upon themselves to riot in the streets, drunkenly yell their college rally chants on national television, and light couches on fire. Oh, America....

