fire Page 17 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Help Your Friends At Fire Joe Morgan Make Fun Of Bad Sportswriting
Remember: Fire Joe Morgan returns to Deadspin on Sept. 22. If you come across any atrocious sportswriting in your daily reading—never doubt that someone, somewhere, is saying too nice things about David Eckstein—send a link to [email protected]....

Man Lights Rival Soccer Fan In Sheep Costume On Fire
The Hibernian supporter was playing with his lighter when the Aberdeen fan — in a homemade sheep costume — went up in flames. The weirdest part? This is the second such case in the UK this year....

All The News That's Fit To Analogize Ridiculously To Food
Your food metaphor of the day, courtesy The New York Times: "We all know the cliché that a prosecuting attorney can persuade a grand jury to indict a ham sandwich, but Clemens — and Barry Bonds, with his trial scheduled for next March — are not mere ham sandwiches but rather the prime beef of baseba...

Just <em>Liking</em> The Florida Gators Will Get You Fired
After yesterday's kerfuffle regarding the Cincinnati media members that asked for Tim Tebow's autograph, it's fitting that another University of Florida graduate is involved in a media scandal. Meet Renee Gork; fired by an Arkansas sports radio network for going to UF....

Jets Superfan, Giants Superdrunk Exchange Shoves
Because you asked for it (with your eyes. I can tell), here's Fireman Ed getting into it with an unsteady Giants fan. As always, the only acceptable rooting interest is for the meteorite....

Grounds Crew Sets Fire To Baseball Field To Dry It
"It seemed like a good idea at the time" is a phrase that doesn't bode well. But rarely has there been so obviously not a good idea as burning a baseball field with diesel fuel to dry it out after it rains....

A Short Video Tribute To Diego Maradona, The Manager
As mentioned yesterday, the World Cup 2010 will be remembered for three things - vuvuzelas, a terrible match ball, and Larissa Riquelme's mobile phone deftly positioned between her enormous bosoms. But one thing was glaringly left out—Diego Maradona....

Incredibly Fun Video Of A Fireworks Mishap At A Minor League Baseball Game
Everyone loves a good minor league baseball fireworks show. Unfortunately, whether you've bused in a group of epileptics or not, these things just don't go according to plan....

Touchdown Jesus Statue Destroyed By Act Of God (UPDATE WITH VIDEO)
Via the Cincinnati Enquirer: "Lightning struck and ignited a fire late Monday that destroyed a 62-foot-tall statue of Jesus Christ with his arms stretched toward the skies." He'll be back, I'm sure. UPDATE: Watch Him burn! Video below....

Philadelphia Soccer Dresses Like Philadelphia Hockey
The Philadelphia Union wore Flyers inspired jerseys and lost to the Chicago Fire 2-1. Lookin' good boys! [700 Level]...

This Is What Happens When There Are No Playoffs On Saturday
Big thanks to both the NHL and NBA for providing zero entertainment today. I'd much rather flip between two Finals games on Sunday night then enjoy each one separately during the other 44 hours of the weekend when nothing happened....

Cockblocked By Fire Ants! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Jet Skis, Assault Weapons, And Party Girls: The Mikhail Prokhorov Supermix
Newly minted Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov is America's new favorite Russian oligarch. In the wake of all his recent, reliably preposterous media appearances, we've decided to put together a mix. Please enjoy. [Footage via Nets.com, CBSnews.com, YESNetwork.com; tunes via]...

Turkish Soccer Fans Set Fire To Their Own Seats
Fans of Istanbul's Fenerbahce were annoyed that a final day draw gave their hated rivals the Turkish League title, so they rationally decided to tear their home stadium apart from the inside. Yeah, that'll learn 'em. [Daily Mail]...

Today In Hilarious Baseball Stat-Geek Mockery: Dan Shaughnessy And Pudding
Ladies and germs, I give you Dan Shaughnessy, from his aforementioned Globe column:...

So, About That Cubs-Lighting-Their-Farts Story
By now you've probably heard the rumor that Chicago's Jeff Baker missed time because he burned his backside trying to light a fart in the clubhouse. We thought this was worth some investigation....

Here's An Exclusive Clip From Tonight's <em>Parks And Recreation</em>, Featuring Detlef Schrempf
Friend of the site Ken Tremendous/Michael Schur/Mose Schrute broke a lot of hearts when he left Fire Joe Morgan to create and executive produce Parks and Recreation, but it's probably for the best....

Dez Bryant's Non-Streetwalking Mother Upset That Jeff Ireland Has Not Apologized To Her
"No, he has not called. I think he should have. Why wouldn't you do that?," she complained to Fanhouse. Maybe Ireland still thinks he would risk a solicitation charge if he called her directly....

A Hockey Trucking To End All Hockey Truckings
In Game 3 of the OHL Championship Series last night, Barrie's Darren Archibald decided he didn't even want to play Game 4 and proceeded to check Windsor goalie Philipp Grubauer into the Northwest Territories. Naturally, a fight broke out. H/T Justin....

Dumb Honky Radio Guy Fired For Doing On Twitter What Everyone In Sports Talk Does On Air
Bacsik, the former Nats reliever and leading demographer of the American Southwest, has been fired by KTCK-AM's parent company for all that "dirty Mexicans" business on Twitter the other day. Because sports-talk radio is no place for casual racism and half-drunk stupidity....