fl Page 1149 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Patriots First Round Draft Pick Gets Progressively Worse
Because that's pretty much all the 49ers have left to stay motivated at this point. Their record helps that pick they famously gave to New England continue to plummet. A silly little upset of Tampa Bay puts them at 5-10 and currently the Patriots pick 8th....

Bears Upset Packers, Their Quarterback Sort Of Helped
A cursory look at the 1 o'clock games led one to make a face comparable to sniffing a plate of expired deli meat. But sometimes expired meat is salvageable, which led to the creation of the hot dog. Similarly, this bundle of games gave us a couple of surprises....

Kevin Everett Picked The Wrong Game To Attend
For as much as he's been through this year, injured Bills tight end Kevin Everett has to be all confused why the Giants aren't exactly collapsing according to plan this late in the season....

Brigham Da Noise, Brigham Da Funk
We've been fortunate so far that most of the bowl games have given us actual watchable football. Sure, while many of the games are devoid of tradition ("New Mexico! It's ... culture!") but so what? The way the bowl system is set up, fans normally bludgeoned with story after story of Tim Tebow and Le...

Tony Romo Distracted By Watching Marion Barber Run Through Linebackers
I'm sure everyone involved in the Dallas Cowboys organization would love to get home to their families by Sol Invictus, but they all have some unfinished business even after beating the Carolina Panthers 20-13 last night....

Jessica Simpson Won't Be In Romo's Head, More Like Against It
It might seem a skosh ridiculous that Carolina Panthers fans are going balls out on this Jessica Simpson cutout distraction thingy tonight against Tony Romo and the Dallas Cowboys, considering that Terrell Owens has said repeatedly that Simpson really isn't a distraction to the team after all. So th...

A total of 36 players will not travel with Florida State to the Music City Bowl for one reason or another. (Another reason being: mass suspension.) What might really help out the Seminoles would be to ask the refs if they could play most of the game 7-on-7. Failing that, change your confidence ratin...

Not content with mastering just one method of legally beating the shit out of people in public, Floyd Mayweather might become a mixed martial arts fighter. Now, ESPN reported this story first, and yet I'm linking to an AP story. I know. It's not fair. Consider it a make-up call. [Associated Press]...

Florida Atlantic Is Used To Sticking It To Tennessee Schools
Knowing that Howard Schnellenberger built Florida Atlantic's football program using nothing but MacGyver-approved ingredients in a seven-year span, last night's victory over Memphis in the New Orleans Bowl is an extremely uplifting story. They really came out of nowhere to steal the title of Best Up...

Sure Beats The Kiss Cam
Unfortunately, the video above doesn't have the actual moment, though if anyone happened to catch it, we're all ears. Our favorite part, as pointed out by AA, is that the woman lists herself as a "sea captain." In Tennessee. Which is awesome....

Najeh Davenport New Dump Truck For Steelers
The Steelers might have won last night — a loss would have been devastating to their hopes f staving off the Browns — but they lost running back Willie Parker for the rest of the year with a broken leg. (Good thing nobody plays fantasy football in Week 17.) And now only one man can save them: The Ha...

The Rams Can Cure What Ails Ya
The Steelers wouldn't actually blow this thing, would they? The team with the handsome coach and the gay mascot have looked awful the last few weeks, and now the Browns are threatening to pass them. But they wouldn't fall so far to lose to the Rams, right? Right?...

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....

Hey, Man, Get Off The Danged Roof!
After their loss to previously winless Miami on Sunday, Ravens fans need all the entertainment they can get. Fortunately, some beautiful idiot is refusing to get off the roof of a local bar until the Ravens win a game. That should go well....

The Dolphins Climb Out Of The Hole
We have made no secret of our enduring love of The Dugout, both in its original incarnation and its current, non-expletive form at AOL Sports. But you think these guys just know baseball? Pshaw....

This Week In The SSW
For years — OK, a couple of days — Slate writer Robert Weintraub has been tinkering with a concept called The SSW, short for "The Sean Salisbury Wisdom," which tracks the consensus of the football punditocracy to ensure those triumphant declarations from Friday aren't flushed down the memory hole on...

Purple Jesus And His Pop Warner Buddies
Far be it from us to impugn the reputation of a team that has won five in a row and looks, on paper, to be one of the hottest teams in the NFL, but ... heavens to Betsy, if that's what a playoff team looks like, sheesh, when's baseball season?...

We Still Have Faith
Don't worry, Kyle: You're always a winner in our book....

It's Purple Jesus Vs. The Neckbeard
Yes, yes, tonight's "Monday Night Football" game is somewhat key to deciding that last playoff slot in the NFC, and it's nice to have an MNF game mean something. But who cares about Purple Jesus and the Vikings. It's Kyle Orton's night to shine!...