fl Page 1184 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Get Out Your Planner: NFL Schedule Is Out
This is Pac Man Jones. He won't be taking part in any NFL games this year, which makes him similar to you, or us, or popular musician C.C. DeVille. He will be able to watch, though, and as of this afternoon, he knows when he'll be able to watch which games. That's right: As you might have noticed fr...

Chris Henry's Scheduling Conflict
The Sports Oasis brings up an excellent point regarding the suspension of Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry: How much money he will lose will depend entirely on when the Bengals' bye week is....

Bill Romanowski Just Can't Quit You
With inflation being what it is, we feel that we have to be very prudent with our entertainment dollar. That's why we will only see new movies with the following fun synopsis:...

Pac Man Jones Will Take A Year Off
This might ultimately be for the betterment of the league, but man, it's gonna make 2007 considerably less fun around here....

Michael Irvin, Assaulting Contractors
We haven't had a good Michael Irvin story in a while, and, frankly, we've missed him. (He's John Rocker's buddy, after all.) Anyway, this is a relatively minor key for him, but we've been so forlorn without him that we're including it, regardless: Irvin has been accused of assaulting a contractor....

Look At All The Dumb Athletes!
Every year, as the NFL Draft approaches, the results of each player's Wunderlic scores inevitably leak out. This appears to serve only one purpose: To allow us to mock athletes for being so stupid. This is, we believe, a perfectly healthy aspect of being a sports fan; we are so cognizant of our phys...

Devin Hester Is Virtually Fast
If you're like us — and Lord help you if you are — much of the summer is spent counting down the days until the new version of Madden is released. (This year, the Buzzsaw is gonna be good! Leinart to Boldin ... Buzzsaw!) Even though the NFL Draft still hasn't happened, they've already released some ...

Hey, Maybe Kentucky Should Try To Rehire Tubby Again
Continuing with our afternoon pro-Florida theme ......

They're The One That You Want
We got the impression from some Florida fans that we were not giving the two-time champions the proper reverence in the wake of their victories, and if that's true, we apologize. We meant no harm. It is an outstanding achievement, whether or not Joakim Noah has unnatural feelings toward his mother. ...

Someone In The Reuters Photo Department Is Having Some Fun
Last week, the Denver Broncos held open auditions for women to join their cheerleading team. Two hundred and fifty women tried out for 34 slots. One of them was this woman....

The Sad Aftereffect Of The Chinese NFL Cancellation
As we mentioned yesterday, the schedule NFL game between the Patriots and Seahawks in China has been canceled. That's good news for each team's players and coaches, whom we suspect had little desire to break from training camp and head to freaking China....

Reggie Bush To See Fewer Boobs In 2007
If you've already heard about it you're probably still reeling; as for us, it's going to take some time to get over the news that Reggie Bush has been banned from the Playboy Mansion. Why, you ask? The source says only that the ban was "non-Playmate related."...

Joakim Noah, Gleefully Making No Sense
Thanks to Every Day Should Be Saturday, we have the bizarre interview with Joakim Noah after the Gators' win last night which confirms, if you had any doubt, that nobody has the foggiest idea of what Joakim Noah's talking about....

Looking To The Past To Overcome The Present
Now that Florida has won its second national title in a row, everybody's an amateur historian — which is good, because sports would be no fun if it has professional historians. The big question: Are the Gators one of the best teams ever? The answer of course is that there is no answer, which is why ...

At This Rate, Florida's Gonna Win An Oscar This Year
It was rather difficult not to admire Greg Oden in this game, but Florida, man, those guys are good. Not the epic game we were hoping for ... but when you go 4-for-22 from the 3-point line, it doesn't really matter if you have a 64-year-old Bill Russell under the basket....

Give Us At Least ONE Shining Moment. One Will Be Fine.
All right, well, we think we can all agree that, as sports fans, we are owed an epic national title matchup tonight. This has been the least memorable NCAA Tournament of the last decade — except for those ones we can't remember — and the only thing that can salvage it is a Connecticut-Duke or George...

What A Win Tonight Would Mean: Florida
A national title, or a championship in any sport, resonates for years beyond just one small victory for a group of tall men. It stands for something not just in athletics, but for a university as a whole, a matter of civic pride, an achievement disparate groups of people can all stand alongside, joy...

NCAA Championship Game Blogdome: Let's Play Two
What they're saying, blogwise, about tonight's National Championship game ......

Buckeyes Tend To Look Old
The man on the left, Ohio State head coach That Matta, is two years younger than the man on the right, Florida coach Billy Donovan. There must be something in the water in Columbus that ages people prematurely. At this time next year, Mike Conley Jr. is going to look like Laurence Fishburne....

Ricky Williams Wants Back In Your Life
The ball is rolling for Ricky Williams to get himself back in the National Football League. His agent, Leigh Steinberg, claims that Ricky's in the best shape of his life (though I don't know if an agent has ever said that a client of his wasn't in the best shape of his life) and has passed all of hi...