fl Page 1192 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jack Trudeau Likes Alcohol ... Policemen, Not So Much
It's that time of year. The kids are graduating from high school, and former Colts quarterbacks are getting them shitfaced. It seems like just yesterday, it was me donning the cap and gown, getting my diploma, and Jeff George threatening to beat my ass if I couldn't do a keg stand for 45 seconds....

Evander Holyfield Has Much Advice For Sage Rosenfels
"OK, now everybody listen up. The key to being a successful Houston Texan is to ... wait ... is HGH legal in football? No? Oh, well, don't worry: Take it anyway, you'll sit out four games, no one will care, it's the NFL. Anyway, what was I saying? Dancing. Yes. Dancing is ... you gotta ..."...

Gators Deal With The Loss Of Billy Boy
Now that Billy Donovan has officially left the Florida Gators for the Orlando Magic — and EDSBS has been quiet so far — we thought we'd ask the biggest Gators fan we knew, Dan Shanoff, to describe how he's feeling. Here are his words....

Mark Cuban Has A Thing For Girdle Pads
Finally, a pro football league with second-rate players which plays on Friday nights in places like San Antonio and Sacramento. It's like someone has been recording our dreams!...

Michael Vick Has Bad Luck With Pets
Michael Vick, you bastard! You moved the headstones, but you didn't move the graves! You didn't move the graves!...

It Must Be Hard To Find A Reliable Source In Dogfighting
ESPN's "Outside the Lines" has an anonymous guy who was willing to tell tales of Michael Vick's dog fighting involvement. The man's a 30-year dog fighting veteran who's telling his tale in the hopes of legitimizing the "sport." He says of Vick:...

Florida (Oops) A&M Coach Explores The Fine Line Between Love And Stalking
When you're a member of the Florida A&M basketball program, women want you. Sometimes, you have to convince them of it first, but they do want you. And that's the message that Mike Gillespie Sr. was trying to teach his players yesterday. And the day before. And since 2005, really....

Fight! Fight! Fight! Fig ... Never Mind, You Missed It
Notes on a day in baseball ......

We Still Can't Find The Name Kaka In the Bible
Would it surprise you to learn that right now we are wearing the exact same shirt as our friend, Kaka, above? In addition to the gift of spiritual peace and salvation, we will be quickly returned to Jesus if we are ever lost or stolen. So we have that going for us....

What Ron Mexico Is Jamming To
As our man Ron Mexico continues to sort out his various legal difficulties, we smile as WBRS Sports Blog digs up an old Michael Vick iTunes playlist, from back in those days in which Michael Vick was considered the most marketable name in the NFL....

Andrew Walter Will Hear Your Confession Now
We're a bit late on this, but alas:...

How To Make Love To That Team's Biggest Fan
In one of those perfect ideas that make the Internets such a blessing on our daily lives, Every Day Should Be Saturday and Ladies ... have come up a guide to seducing a particular team's fan. Want to know how to bed that Cardinals fan? What do you say to a Knicks fan to sneak 'em in the sack? How do...

AJ Hawk Has Brady Quinn's Back
Last week, we published some rather unusual photos of new Browns quarterback Brady Quinn and the wedding of his sister and Packers linebacker A.J. Hawk. Well, Hawk spoke this weekend about the photos and he isn't too happy....

You Just Can't Keep Chris Henry Down
You know, we're starting to think that Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry might have a bit of a self-control issue....

Clinton Portis Has Ron Mexico's Back
Ron Mexico might be going through a particularly difficult time right now, but it's worth noting that he has one significant booster: Deadspin Hall of Famer Clinton Portis. He'd just like you and your ilk to leave Mr. Vick and his puppies alone....

In The Face Of Breaking Wind, You've Just Got To Soldier On
Click Here for more great videos and pictures!...

The Number 30 Is Worth A House
The sale of jersey numbers is a time-honored tradition in sports. A team will sign or trade for a star free-agent, and some other scrub on the roster is already wearing the number that said star has worn his entire career ... and the star will pay the scrub tens of thousands of dollars for his numbe...

If There Is No Poontang For Plax, Then Plax Is Leaving
According to the New York Post's Page Six, Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress had a difficult time breaking through the coverage last night....

Bengal Arrested ... Blah Blah Blah
I would've gotten to this sooner, but I thought it was probably a good idea to wait a few hours, see if any other Bengals got arrested, and then combine them into one post. Alas, they put together an unprecedented 12-hour streak of good behavior....

Leonard Davis Gives A Damn About Your Horse
It's the biggest time of the year in horse racing, and you know what that means: total disregard for the health of animals while the rest of us drink bourbon and gamble. But not for Cowboys offensive lineman Leonard Davis. Davis is an equine hero....