fl Page 1225 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Gators vs. Patriots: 5:16, Second Half
Mason's chipping back into a little bit, but Florida just keeps hitting threes. The game has certainly taken on a Florida kind of pace. Florida's up 13....

Gators vs. Patriots: 11:49, Second Half
I didn't catch much of the halftime, but man... Adam Morrison is hurting. They gave him the Chevrolet Player of the Year, and I think the man is clinically depressed. He looked down, talked softly, had nothing to say, and he hasn't washed his hair in over a month. I feel like writing him a letter ...

Gators vs. Patriots: Halftime
I was wrong about the new batch of commercials, by the way. The lame Southwest "Wanna get away?" commercials are back in the rotation, as is that fucking Capitol One angel....

Gators vs. Patriots: 3:48, First Half
I think I could watch Jai Lewis do just about anything and be entertained. Patient, smooth, controlled, quick... all at 275 pounds. I could probably even be talked into buying a Jai Lewis gay sex tape....

Gators vs. Patriots: 9:50, First Half
Hey, a Dick Vitale commercial for DiGiorno's. A few minutes ago, I felt like ordering pizza. I was really considering it. I've completely lost the taste for it, though....

Gators vs. Patriots: 1st TV Timeout
Sometimes I hate Jim Nantz and his dramatic voice. When you say "Jim Nantz and Billy Packer," there no reason to make it sound like you're doing a Jack Nicklaus career retrospective at Augusta National....

The Best Damn... April Fools Joke.
Okay, I was had, and I am dumb A couple of readers have written in (and my thanks to them) to tell me that the "fight" between Michael Strahan and Tom Arnold on The Best Damn Sports Show was, in fact, an April Fools Joke. My congratulations to everyone involved. I didn't think those guys were capa...

Best Damn Sports Show Fight
So if you missed Friday night's episode of The Best Damn Sports Show (and how could you?), check about the above video. Tom Arnold and Michael Strahan get into kind of a little sissy chair fight. And Michael Strahan did not win. He's on the ground making noises like he's hurt, cursing at Arnold, who...

Your NL East "Preview"
It is important to point out, before we start predicting our final division, that we have picked a team other than the Braves to win the division for five consecutive years. As if you needed any more assurance that our predictions are always wrong....

It's A Final Four Pants Party
Obviously, the best story at this weekend's Final Four in Indianapolis is George Mason, but we've found the best story of that best story: It turns out that until this weekend, the George Mason fight song had no lyrics. Seriously; they had to write a whole batch just because the NCAA was asking fo...

Another Great Staring-Into-The-Camera Rap
"I have one thing to tell you, T.O.: I. Hate. You. You like writing disses? I can write them right back to you."...

Oh, You Didn't Forget About Kyle, Did You?
He might not drink like a champion, but his efforts have nevertheless clearly reached the level of "epic" and "historic" in recent years. His name is Kyle Orton. He is but one man, but his achievements will outlast us all....

Join Terrell Owens' Special Club
We suppose, in a roundabout way, that it makes sense for fans of Terrell Owens to be fans of Terrell Owens, and Terrell Owens only; rooting for the team that your favorite player T.O. suits up for seems kind of beside the point....

"Facebook Princess" Hits Maxim
Online wankers, your day has come: The long-awaited photo shoot pictures of FSU Cowgirl Jenn Sterger have finally been posted on Maxim's Web site. The photos are as understated and subtle as you would have expected from a Sports Illustrated columnist; the "outfits" consist mostly of dental floss a...

Dhani Jones Has Happy Feet That Can't Be Beat
We have been called a "chronicler of athlete misdeeds," though we think we're a little more optimistic than that; we prefer "chronicle of athlete malfeasance." Or even "athlete tomfoolery." Whichever; pick your poison....

Why Do We Consider The NFL Fun Again?
Anyone who watched the NFL last season ended up captivated by two charismatic, outsized personalities: Clinton Portis and Chad Johnson. Every week, each did something creative, original and undeniably fun; we found ourselves rooting for their on-field exploits much more than we would have otherwis...

NCAA Roundup:All GMU, All The Time
• As exciting as the LSU-Texas and George Mason-Connecticut games were, the Florida-Villanova and UCLA-Memphis games were dogs. Particularly that last one; it had been a long time since we'd seen a team back into the Final Four. Not supposed to work that way. • One of the more underpublicized fact...

Gators To Dance With George Mason; Final Four Is Set
Your Final Four is set: Bruins, Tigers, Gators, and Patriots. We've got three ferocious animals and a dead white guy who once did something historic that you'd know about if you paid attention in history class....

Florida Up On 'Nova
While still glowing from the earlier George Mason conquest......

You Can Help Injure Terrell Owens. Please, Give All You Can.
Howard Eskin, a sports radio host in Philadelphia, is raising money in order to pay the fine for any Philadelphia Eagle who "takes out" Terrell Owens. The guy who sent in the tip didn't give a definition for "take out," but given the nature of the Philadelphia sports fan, I have to assume that a s...