fl Page 1257 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Saints: America's Guilty Conscience Team
Like most of you who decided that NFL Sunday Ticket isn't quite valuable enough to make up for the utter uselessness of DirectTV, we spent yesterday at a sports bar, looking past the impromptu games of beer pong to watch hundreds of television screens full of football. And we saw what we're sure y...

Football Outsiders Poo On Skip Bayless Some More
Every successful enterprise needs a villain, and as Football Outsiders becomes more and more popular — their book just arrived at Deadspin World Headquarters and is being devoured with much haste, even as we type — their glee at picking apart ESPN "Cold Pizza" wax automaton Skip Bayless becomes more...

McMichael's Wife Dropped From Fantasy Rosters
Just about two months after being arrested for throwing his wife from their car — it was his second arrest for spousal abuse within a year — Dolphins tight end Randy McMichael has pleaded out, accepting a misdemeanor of "trespassing," on his wife, in a similar way that Jason Christensen "trespasse...

To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as Gilligan ascends to Sitcom Heaven ... • Your excuse to eat vast quantities of junk food is finally here: Raiders at Patriots kick off NFL season. • MLB: Angels at Red Sox. Converging fronts of negative mojo from Yankees, A's fans collide over Fenway, causing it to rain. • U.S. Open ...

Kicking Off The Season With Satan
According to the The Boston Herald, which is being amusingly hush-hush about the whole thing, tonight's special guest at the NFL Kickoff Festivities will be Ozzy Osbourne. What does Ozzy Osbourne have to do with football? Well, Kanye West doesn't have anything to do with football either, and if Ozzy...

NFL Sighs, Pretends It Doesn't Want To Strangle Kanye West
By now, you've heard all about rapper Kanye West's impromptu blasting of President Bush in the middle of a telethon. Whatever your thoughts on West's actions, it certainly puts the NFL in an interesting situation; West is scheduled to perform at the NFL Kickoff Ceremonies tonight. (Oh, the NFL sea...

Terrell Owens' Suspicious Charity
Now, far be it from us to accuse any athlete of being anything less than 100 percent magnanimous in all of his charitable endeavors ... but we couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at Eagles flapjaw wide receiver Terrell Owens' newest attempt to confuse human beings into mistaking him for a nice fell...

Look Up "Class" in the Dictionary, You'll See a Picture of Larry King
From the Reasons Radio Will Never Die department, it appears that Westwood One Radio is considering hiring Larry King to appear on its Monday Night Football radio broadcasts this year. This is the best news we have heard in months; we still haven't quite recovered SI.com canned his batshit nuts "S...

The Monstrosity of Leaving The Big Easy
Currently, the New Orleans Saints — we have to keep reminding ourselves that New Orleans had a football team, and that they still exist right now — are denying CNN's reports that the Superdome will have to be torn down, but whether CNN is right or not, the team still needs someplace to play right ...

A Full Report on Marvin Jones' Weekend of Sex
Some pure gold from NFL Wives Club Yahoo Group today: A discussion of former Jets linebacker Marvin Jones, pictured above with his family. Apparently, someone had a weekend fling with the very married Jones and wrote into the group asking for info. The poster "Gata Negro," after reading a bio abou...

About Last Night ...
• What you missed while shaving profanities onto your dog ... • Florida State beats Miami in football ... wait, that can't be right. • Jerry Rice decides to retire after Broncos clean out his locker, paint over his parking space and refuse to let him back into the building. • White Sox grind Curt Sc...

Blogdome: It's College Football Time!
News and Views From a Galaxy Located Somewhere Near Your Basement ... • Boy, it sure is nice to see people previewing an actual college football game. [Sporting Fool] • Life can get treacherously dull in September when you're a Cubs fan. [Bleed Cubbie Blue] • Jajaja! [Yard Work] • He may be cuddly, ...

NFL To New Orleans: Let Them Eat Cake
We live in New York City, which inexplicably does not carry the NFL Network — write your Congressmen! — so we missed a pretty huge faux pas from the league. Fortunately, those intrepid souls at Football Outsiders watched it for us....

The Oldest Batboy in Captivity
Tonight that Marlins batboy kid who was suspended for six games for throwing up milk will be on the "Late Show With David Letterman," his first public appearance and interview. As more news comes out about Nick Cirillo, this story becomes a little stranger. The biggest thing? This "kid" is not a k...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while stuck firmly in the tire swing ... • MLB: Pedro tees 'em up, Phillies hit 'em out. Ah, that's the Mets we know. • A day after taking first batting practice, an exhausted Bonds takes a day off. • Marlins' Hermida peaks at 21; hits grand slam in first major league at-bat....

To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch on your freshly looted high-definition TV ... • Boxing: Malcolm Tann vs. Derek Bryant heavyweight clinchfest. • MLB: Cardinals at Marlins. Do we feel Baseball Fever coming on? Nope, it's just the humidity. • U.S. Open Tennis. Because real sports get us too worked up....

NFL Network Rids Itself Of Stoners, Past, Present and Future
Former Minnesota Vikings running back Robert Smith was always one of our favorite players when he was in the league. He was unusually intelligent — particularly for someone who went to Ohio State — retired at the top of his game and was renowned for his charitable foundations, most notably The Rob...

Jack McKeon Hates Poultry
Everybody loves the San Diego Chicken, right? How do you not love a chicken? Everybody loves chickens!...

Ah, The Exploitation Of A Child. Always Fun!
You can always count on the sports world to find a way to take advantage of kids. In the wake of last week's news that a Marlins batboy was suspended for speed-drinking a gallon of milk, various folks are stepping up to promote their own agendas, in the guise of "helping out the kid."...

The Metrodome Gestapo
People have always hated The Minneapolis Metrodome, and now they have a new reason: It's a Nazi building. So says somebody/something called "Tim's TV," which claims at his/its site, "The Swastika Dome," that the Metrodome has a swastika designed in its roof. Just because we've just discovered thi...