football Page 249 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Cowboys Look Fun As Hell
Right, right, right: It came against a crummy opponent whose ineptitude no doubt made things far easier than they had to be, and it was only Week 1. But in terms of personnel, play design, and execution, the Cowboys on Sunday showed they’re capable of being as forward-thinking and efficient as any o...
Donald Trump: We Love Bill Belichick, Don't We, And Also Curing AIDS?
There are two versions of President Donald Trump that appear in public. They both inhabit the same body—the same Youppi-shaped torso pitched forward at the same implausible angles, same ghost-pale eyelids fluttering alarmingly, same resplendent candyfloss Kangol of hair stuck on top of it like a wei...
The First Game Of The Rest Of Our Lives
Eighteen years ago this morning I awoke to shouts from the hall of my dorm. “We’re going to war! We’re going to war!” The origin of the shouting was my neighbor Brian, known for his histrionics, so I went back to sleep. But soon after, I received a call from my high school quarterback, Justin, livin...
Cleveland Browns Ban Wrong Guy From Stadium For Beer-Pouring Incident
Pour one out for poor Eric Smith, whom the Cleveland Browns banned for life from their stadium for dumping beer on visiting Tennessee Titans players this past Sunday—even though he was nowhere near the stadium at the time. Just be careful not to get any on anybody, or the Browns will have some rando...
Just So You're Up To Speed, This Is Gardner Minshew
Quarterback Nick Foles fractured his clavicle in the Jacksonville Jaguars’ first game of the season, and his injury meant the door was wide open for rookie Gardner Minshew to strut right through it, because Gardner Minshew looks like a guy who struts, or at least saunters....
Deshaun Watson's Monday Night Heroics Only Mattered For A Moment
When Texans QB Deshaun Watson got the ball down six with zero timeouts and 50 seconds remaining on Monday night against the Saints, it looked like he was entering an impossible situation. Since scoring a touchdown on their first drive of the second half, the Houston offense had been completely ineff...
![Raiders' Gareon Conley Carted Off With Apparent Head Injury After Scary Collision With Teammate [Updates]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/dwrvifnubkg8v0tkrh1u.jpg)
Raiders' Gareon Conley Carted Off With Apparent Head Injury After Scary Collision With Teammate [Updates]
Rookie Raiders safety Johnathan Abram made a number of noisy and violent hits Monday night. Late in the third quarter, with his team up 14–3, Abram drew a 15-yard penalty for lowering his head to initiate contact on a tackle of Broncos running back Royce Freeman, who was slowed up on the sideline b...
Referee Clock Boner Very Nearly Screws Saints In Monday Night Thriller
Monday night’s Texans-Saints game ended with two incredible late drives and a dramatic walk-off 58-yard field goal to put the home team over the top, 30–28. However you feel about the Saints and their fans, one positive takeaway from their victory is it managed to wipe out a pretty significant refer...
![Dear ESPN, Please Stop Using Yellow In Your <i>Monday Night Football</i> Down-And-Distance Graphic [UPDATE: It's Gone]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/dwso0v6k6heg9kpry9fk.gif)
Dear ESPN, Please Stop Using Yellow In Your <i>Monday Night Football</i> Down-And-Distance Graphic [UPDATE: It's Gone]
For reasons passing understanding, ESPN’s Monday Night Football presentation uses a sickly greenish-yellow color for the graphic showing the down and distance. It’s a big highlighter-yellow block on the bottom right of the screen, and it’s ugly, and I hate it. On top of being ugly, it looks like a p...
Jerkass Browns Fan Doused Some Celebrating Titans Players In Beer
The Titans delivered an absolute shitkicking of the Browns Sunday in Cleveland, and the cherry on top was Malcolm Butler’s game-sealing pick-six with three minutes to go. When Butler reached the end zone, he and some of his teammates jumped up to celebrate with a Titans fan in the front row. A Brown...
Where Do The Raiders Go From Here?
Lost in the exciting new world of Antonio Brown the Patriot (can’t you just see the glint in Bill Belichick’s eye?) is what Brown left behind:...
Jay Gruden's Players Are Pissed After He Inexplicably Made Adrian Peterson A Healthy Scratch
Washington head coach Jay Gruden opted not to use Adrian Peterson at all in Sunday’s loss to the Eagles, despite the running back being healthy and ready to go. Gruden instead fielded Derrius Guice and Chris Thompson, who rushed a combined 13 times for 28 yards, and Wendell Smallwood, who didn’t hav...
The Great Wonder Of The NFL Is Ben Roethlisberger's Dreadfully Large Head
The Steelers got their asses kicked in by the Patriots last night, and you only need to take one look at Ben Roethlisberger’s big dumb head to understand just how poorly the game went for his team....
Why Good Organizations Know How To Handle Players Like Antonio Brown
Jimmy Farris spent six seasons in the NFL as a receiver with the 49ers, the Patriots, the Falcons, Washington, and the Jaguars. He won a ring in Super Bowl 36, when he signed with New England just before the playoffs. As an undrafted rookie in 2001, Farris had an up-close look at the dynamic between...
The Cool New Browns Went Out There And Brownsed It Up
Accept all the necessary caveats about how Week 1 can produce wonky results and how one game doesn’t make a season, and what you’re left with when examining the Cleveland Browns’ 43-13 loss to the Tennessee Titans is the understanding of just how Brownsy it was....
We Have No Idea How Many High Schools Are Failing Title IX Athletics
No one is keeping tabs on the high schools. Title IX, passed in 1972, guarantees that all institutions that receive federal funding must provide equal opportunities, facilities, and supplies to students regardless of their gender. In athletics, that means that for every position on a team available ...
The Dolphins Aren't Enjoying This Fiasco Any More Than You Are
Dolphins head coach Brian Flores declared on Friday, “I have a good team.” What a difference one game makes, especially when that game was Miami’s 59-10 loss to the Ravens, featuring the most points and the most yards (643) the Dolphins have given up in their history. Brian Flores on Sunday: “We’ve ...
Jets Start Their Gagging Early In The Season, Blow 16-0 Second-Half Lead To Bills
Adam Gase had a chance to set the tone for the Jets’ season. He was in position to win the first game with an impressive defensive performance, make everyone stop with the eyeball jokes, and show that he was different than former head coach Todd Bowles. Instead, Week 1 looked like more of the same....
Chiefs WR Tyreek Hill Taken To Hospital After Shoulder Injury
Chiefs receiver Tyreek Hill was taken to a hospital after he suffered a shoulder injury early in today’s 40-26 win over the Jaguars. He won’t need surgery, but he’ll be out for a few weeks, according to Pro Football Talk....
The Dolphins Were The Perfect Confidence Builder For The Ravens
It was very clear at the end of preseason that the Dolphins had no desire to seriously compete this year, even if head coach Brian Flores planned on it. Judging from the roster as well as the trade of Laremy Tunsil and Kenny Stills, the Fins seemed destined to suck mondo ass. Today’s game did not di...