football Page 248 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Is This The Crash That Darius Fleming Is Talking About? (Updated)
This morning has seen plenty of coverage about the heroics of Patriots linebacker Darius Fleming, with the general narrative being that he rescued a woman from a burning car last week on his way home from Patriots practice. But tracking down documents regarding the heroics has proved trickier. In th...
That's Just Weed, Dipshit
You could have gone out to West Philly any time to “get smarter.”...
Antwaan Randle El On Playing Football: "If I Could Go Back, I Wouldn't"
Former Steelers wide receiver and trick play artist Antwaan Randle El is very clear about one thing: if he could replay his life, there’s no way he’d play football. “If I could go back, I wouldn’t,” he told the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. “I would play baseball. I got drafted by the Cubs in the 14th ro...
Everything You Need To Know About Last Night's Strange Coin Toss
Something extremely unusual happened during the overtime coin toss of last night’s Packers-Cardinals game. After Green Bay quarterback Aaron Rodgers called tails, referee Clete Blakeman tossed the coin and it landed on heads. But Blakeman noticed something strange: the coin didn’t rotate at all, it ...
ESPN's Chris Mortensen Diagnosed With Throat Cancer
ESPN’s Chris Mortensen will be temporarily stepping away from his duties as an NFL analyst while undergoing treatment for Stage IV throat cancer. Mortensen announced the news via a statement on ESPN.com:...
A Reader Sends Along Some Important Information Regarding Synthetic Weed
Synthetic weed! It’s all over the sports news cycle this week, but what is it? Is it the same thing as K2? What is spice? Can it kill you? Why is everyone always smoking it? You’ve got questions, and one of our readers has unsolicited answers:...
Stan Kroenke Will Never Care About You
The thing that always strikes me about people’s reactions to the general fuckery carried out by pro sports owners is the genuine disbelief. You look at some galactically rich piece of puddy asking taxpayers to build him a new stadium and you can’t help but ask, “Is this guy fucking serious?” You see...
Bill Belichick On How He Hurt His Eye: "Great"
Patriots head coach Bill Belichick was feeling extra grumpy at this morning’s press conference. He opened with a short statement on the Chandler Jones situation, and then got snippy with reporters who kept asking him about it:...
What Is That Thing On Stan Kroenke's Head?
Rams owner Stan Kroenke has been in the news lately for his part in a disgraceful shitbag scheme that involves him moving his team from St. Louis to Los Angeles. This makes it a good time to ask a question we’ve long been meaning to ask: What the fuck is that on his head?...
Reports: Giants To Hire Offensive Coordinator Ben McAdoo As Head Coach
The New York Giants are poised to hire offensive coordinator Ben McAdoo as their next head coach, according to multiple reports. McAdoo has been the offensive coordinator for the past two seasons, after having been the Packers tight ends and then quarterbacks coach....
Jeremy Hill Reacted To His Costly Fumble With Anguished Screaming
Pittsburgh’s 18-16 victory over Cincinnati Saturday night will be remembered for Vontaze Burfict’s dirty hit on Antonio Brown and Pacman Jones’s subsequent penalty on the same play, gifting the Steelers 30 yards and an easy game-winning field goal....
Your Deadcast Divisional Round Preview
Whoa hey, it’s divisional playoff weekend! WOOHOO FUCK YEAH! Can Peyton Manning reanimate his own dead body? Will Antonio Brown play? Will the Panthers choke like I expect them to? And what did I just sit on? SO MANY QUESTIONS. But fear not, we’re here to answer them in a very special Deadcast....
Antonio Cromartie's Penis Is Unstoppable
Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie has fathered 10 children, so it made plenty of sense when he decided to get a vasectomy, because 10 children is plenty of children. Today, we learned that not even a procedure that leaves most couples with a less than 1-percent chance of getting pregnant can stop th...
A Special Message From Rams And Chargers Fans
Yesterday, the NFL approved a deal that will send the St. Louis Rams back to Los Angeles, with a second team joining them within a year, if not sooner. That second team will almost certainly be the San Diego Chargers, whose owner, Dean Spanos, will have to settle for a mere windfall instead of a bon...
Rams And Chargers Fans! Let Us Help You Say Goodbye To Your Owners
Congratulations, Rams and Chargers fans! Your favorite teams have just abandoned you in favor of playing football at sunny and beautiful LAX International Airport. What a thrill! This brings to an end a sometimes contentious process that will, at long last, leave you in the dust and enrichen owners ...
Peter King Sounds New Depths Of Stoogery With Open Letter To NFL Players
For all the danger they purport to identify in the world, conspiracy theories, at bottom, are comforting. They’re orderly and symmetrical and closed, like a square dance, matching participants 1:1 to malign intents and thus to culpability. Either you are in the conspiracy by cynical choice and sinis...
Some Theories About Bill Belichick's Mysterious Black Eye
Patriots head coach Bill Belichick showed up to his press conference this morning sporting a shiner above his left eye. He didn’t bother to explain how he got it, so we’ve come up with a few educated guesses....