football Page 297 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Today I Declare To You That The Following Wideouts Are Dogshit<em></em>
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
Patrick Mahomes At All Times Sounds Like He Just Ate A Big Bowl Of Chili
Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes has spent the first four weeks of the NFL season playing consciousness-expanding football—scrambling, improvisational, hyper-charismatic stuff. Four games make for a small sample, but if it is at all representative of the underlying talent, Mahomes will be doing bi...
Aaron Rodgers Is Taking Shots At Mike McCarthy Again
That thing is happening again, where everyone is wondering if there’s some serious internal discord plaguing the Green Bay Packers. Eyebrows were raised when after Green Bay’s 22-0 victory over Buffalo, a game in which the Packers did not play as well as the score indicates, quarterback Aaron Rodger...
Nick Saban Is Very Angry At Alabama Fans For Not Attending Guaranteed Win Against Garbage Opponent
Alabama beat the shit out of the Ragin’ Cajuns of Louisiana-Lafayette on Saturday. By the end of the first quarter the Crimson Tide had a 28-point lead; by the end of the half it was 49. Louisiana scored a couple of touchdowns in the fourth quarter, but by that time they were already down 56 points....
Roger Goodell Thanks Toilet President For Tacking Canadian Super Bowl Ad Ruling Onto Trade Agreement
You may have to squint hard to follow along on this one: The commissioner of an American sports league thanked the American president for helping to overturn a Canadian regulatory rule that forced a Canadian broadcaster to show American advertisements during the Super Bowl, which is the signature Am...
Ass Team Of The Week: Do Not Ever Feel That You Must Respect The Dolphins
This is my favorite part of the NFL season, in part because I get a certain thrill out of watching teams that roar off to surprisingly hot starts being put ruthlessly back into their places. I feel like I’ve lived through seven or eight NFL seasons that began with, like, the Buffalo Bills going 3-0,...
Broncos Say Referees Admitted To Missing Chiefs' Delay Of Game During Winning Drive
Referees for Monday night’s Chiefs win over the Broncos admitted that one of the most dramatic plays of the game should not have been allowed to happen, according to multiple players on the Denver defense. After the play clock hit zero before a third-and-seven snap during Patrick Mahomes’s comeback ...
Report: Le'Veon Bell Plans To Return To Steelers For Week 8
Steelers running back Le’Veon Bell has been staying away from the team all season as he tries to preserve his body for as long as he can before hitting free agency in 2019. But according to a report from ESPN’s Jeremy Fowler, Bell plans to return to the Steelers for their Week 8 game against the Bro...
Patrick Mahomes Has All The Moves
Young quarterbacks, even the talented ones, tend to be most easily described by their shortcomings. This kid has a great arm, but no pocket presence; this kid can run, but his deep ball is wobbly; this kid can fit a throw anywhere, but he can’t read a defense. We’re now four games into Patrick Mahom...
Improvised Lefty Pass Highlights Another Heroic Performance From The Unreal Patrick Mahomes
Monday night’s Chiefs-Broncos game was very, very fun, featuring more superhuman play from the impossibly good Patrick Mahomes. Mahomes completed 13 of 16 passes in the fourth quarter and engineered two long touchdown drives to bring the Chiefs back from a 23–13 deficit and into the lead. He complet...
Report: Crowdfunding Drives For College Football Player In Critical Condition Shut Down Over Fear Of NCAA Violations
Tennessee State sophomore Christion Abercrombie suffered a devastating head injury in the first half of his team’s loss to Vanderbilt Saturday. According to Tennessee State head coach Rod Reed, Abercrombie suffered the injury while “taking on a block” during an otherwise typical football play, and c...
Alex Trebek Opens Pennsylvania Gubernatorial Debate With Joke Question About The Eagles
The Pennsylvania governor’s race pits Democratic incumbent Tom Wolf against former state senator Scott Wagner. There is one debate. It is tonight. Alex Trebek is moderating. During an on-stage interview before the debate, Trebek joked that he was drunk when he accepted the invitation. ...
Todd Bowles Hates Risk, Loves Meaningless Field Goals And Punts<em></em>
Was it really only three weeks ago that the Jets thumped the Lions on Monday Night Football? Did that win, which ushered in that unfamiliar sensation of honest-to-goodness hope, actually happen this season? The Jets haven’t won since, and Sunday’s 31-12 loss at the Jaguars was a total fartbomb that ...
The Last Two Minutes Of The AFL Grand Final Were Thrilling Even If You Don't Know What You're Looking At<em></em>
Here’s two minutes of suspense that can be enjoyed with no context or understanding of Australian rules football. Big boys scrabble for ball. They boot the ball. They boot the ball in between posts. It’s hard not to get riled up by an Australian hollering, “He’s got the most impossible goal,” or by ...
Alvin Kamara Never Goes Backwards
Saints running back Alvin Kamara doesn’t look like one of those dense orbs of muscle and tendon that you expect to dish out a great deal of harm to anyone who tries to tackle him. You look at a human medicine ball like LeGarrette Blount, each of whose limbs appear to weigh 200 pounds, and you natura...
Jaguars Junction: Week Four
JACKSONVILLE, FLORIDA—Jacksonville, Florida, “the city by the sea,” was the setting yesterday, for the big game. ...
What If The Eagles Just Stink?
PHILADELPHIA — It is a sad Monday morning here. Workers head to the office looking dejected. The birds aren’t chirping like they usually do. The Liberty Bell is cracked. The Eagles are 2-2....
Even In Victory, Jon Gruden Is Haunted By His Dumbass Choices
NFL.com’s Mike Silver wrote up a piece about Raiders head coach Jon Gruden to mark the man’s first NFL victory of the season. The story is kind to Gruden, but it does kick off with a lead that is bursting with schadenfreude:...
Mike Vrabel Showed Brains And Balls
The Titans knocked off the defending champs, 26-23 in overtime, with a bit of aggressiveness straight out of the Eagles’ playbook. On the winning drive, Tennessee marched 75 yards in 16 plays, converting on three different fourth downs along the way. The third of the three will go down as an early s...
Doug Marrone Has Been Waiting Four Years To Stick It To The Jets
The Jaguars beat the Jets 31-12 on Sunday, and it was about as one-sided as an NFL game gets. Jacksonville nearly tripled New York in yards from scrimmage, and nearly doubled their time of possession. But it wasn’t quite enough for Jags head coach Doug Marrone, who sent his team out to go for two in...