Even In Victory, Jon Gruden Is Haunted By His Dumbass Choices

NFL.com’s Mike Silver wrote up a piece about Raiders head coach Jon Gruden to mark the man’s first NFL victory of the season. The story is kind to Gruden, but it does kick off with a lead that is bursting with schadenfreude:

OAKLAND — As he readied his game face for what he hoped would be his first NFL head coaching victory in exactly nine years and 10 months, Jon Gruden sat in the coaches’ area of the home locker room at the Oakland Coliseum on Sunday morning, scrolled through his cell phone and got some decidedly disturbing news.

“Damn — Khalil Mack had another strip sack?” Gruden asked rhetorically, shaking his head at the Raiders assistant coaches in his midst. “Are you... kidding me?”

Oh, Jon. Jon. You idiot. You should know better than to look at your phone in the hours following a Bears game, because you’re only going to be reminded of that big dumb thing you did over the summer that just about singlehandedly turned your entire team into dog shit. There you were, basking in the glory of defeating the mighty Cleveland Browns thanks to a suspect overturned play, and then bam: you’re confronted with yet another incredible Khalil Mack performance. By the way, did you see this play?

That guy is pretty good.