football Page 761 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

In Defense Of Joe Pa's Views Of Lesbians
(Honestly, we love that we get to write headlines like that.)...

The Dirty Sheets Of South Bend
People are so excited about the USC-Notre Dame game this weekend that even travel arrangements are making the news. The fine folks at HotelChatter have taken a look at one of the worst hotels near Touchdown Jesus you could possibly find, the Knight's Inn South Bend, where one guest checked into th...

Does Joe Pa Hate Lesbians Too?
Yesterday, we made a glib remark about Joe Paterno and Penn State's homophobic coach, because hey, we're a blog, we're glib, it's what we do. We joked that you could say what you want about Joe Paterno, but at least unlike his women's basketball coach, he didn't hate lesbians....

Will The Boss Rock Touchdown Jesus?
We keep hearing about all these rumors, so since we are who we are, we might as well publish them. Whispers abound all around South Bend that tomorrow's pep rally for the Notre Dame game against the undefeated USC Trojans — recently moved from the Joyce Center to Notre Dame Stadium — will feature ...

BCS Finally Acknowledges That Earth Is Round
We love it when it takes almost a decade for a bunch of men in plaid suits to figure out something that our four-year-old cousin has known since birth....

Confirming Once Again: Penises Are Funny
From the front page of Friday's Purdue Exponent, this photo shows Purdue fans getting "rowdy" as they bat around a huge inflatable penis during their loss to Notre Dame a week and a half ago. Or, as the caption to the paper's photo puts it, an "oversized phallic object."...

College Football's Hidden Shenanigans
One of the best things about the Web is that it can strip away one moment from a larger event — or coverage of said event — that would have been lost otherwise and highlight it, for better or worse. Two of the best examples of this are videos from the last weekend of college football, currently ci...

SI And Mike Price Bury The Bodies Together
Sports Illustrated announced this morning that it and former Alabama coach Mike Price have "amiably resolved" the lawsuit Price filed against the magazine for a story it ran in 2003....

Oh, The Fun They'll Have
According to Sports By Brooks and KMPC Radio in Los Angeles, now that college football expert Nick Lachey and non-sports-related wife Jessica Simpson have reportedly split up (or maybe not), Lachey might actually be moving in with Southern Cal quarterback Matt Leinart. (We're going to assume he do...

McDonald's New Smack Attack
We've said it before and we'll say it again: if there's one problem with people today, it's that they don't talk enough smack. It's "Thank you" this and "Pardon me" that and "So sorry I sat on your tiny dog, madam." Whatever happened to "Feel my Wrath!" and "Taste the turf!"? Our friends at McDon...

Who Is The Dumbest Team In Football?
It's a general consensus, we think, that football players are considered dumb. Even if they were smart at birth, once their brains were subjected to repeated jostling for two decades, all the good genes probably ended up dripping out. Well, the Wall Street Journal today looks at how each NFL team ...

Rammer Jammer Motley Hammer
We're not sure what much more we can add to this picture except to say we're curious if this makes Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer author Warren St. John exuberant, horrified or both....

Alberts Prays To Wrong God For Help
Earlier this month, ESPN college football analyst Trev Alberts was fired by his network for refusing to show up because of an airtime dispute. In his first public comments since the firing, Alberts says that ESPN has pretty much crushed his ability to be on TV again....

Suge Knight Gets His Bear Bryant On
A recent study from Merrill Lynch Investment Management took a look at how Americans are taking a new look at retirement. Essentially, they don't think retirement for today's baby boomers means empty decades of shuffleboard, cruise ships and tapioca; they see it as an opportunity, a way to reinven...

Harris Interactive Poll Already On Its Death Bed
The Chicago Sun-Times noticed something that we found rather peculiar in college football's new "Harris Poll," designed to replace the Associated Press poll in the so-hated-by-everyone-you-almost-want-it-to-survive BCS standings: The 2-2 Illinois Fighting Illini, a team that lost 61-14 and gave up...

Fighting The Real Enemy: Fuchsia
From the Professors With Way Too Much Time On Their Hands Department: A professor at the University of Iowa has been receiving Internet threats after she claimed that the Iowa football team's propensity to color the locker room pink was sexist and homophobic. First off, we'd like to tell everyone ...

Football Outsiders Join The Happy Family Of Fox
Some Web business news this morning: The crazy kids at Football Outsiders have signed a deal with Fox Sports to provide NFL content for their site. Editor-in-chief Aaron Schatz — who previously had been doing work for ESPN Page 2 — says Fox Sports will run original FO content Monday-Wednesday. Fox...

Bob Knight's Kid Keeps Falling Upward
According to the Lubbock Avalanche-Journal — which has to be the strangest name for a newspaper we've ever seen — Texas Tech assistant basketball coach Pat Knight will succeed his father (his dad goes by "Bob") as the Red Raiders' head coach. We are wary of calling this eventual promotion "nepotis...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m. NFL with Michael Smith: Wait, my bad, I thought you were Michael David Smith, from Football Outsiders. You know, the interesting one. You must get that a lot. • Noon. NCAA FB with Joe Schad: Covering the Dolphins for the Orland...

Showing Love For Texas Tech (And Yourself)
Great, great link from The Mighty MJD this morning: At Texas Tech, whenever the Red Raiders do something great during a football game, a certain student fan is supposed to ring a bell on the sideline like a madman. We're not sure why ringing a bell gets fans excited, but we don't understand lots o...