Onterrio, Canada

Having been released by the Minnesota Vikings, and suspended until at least October, running back Onterrio Smith is heading to the Canadian Football League, where the laws about fake penises are much more relaxed.

He'll be suiting up for the Winnipeg Blue Bombers, who already boast of former Tennessee Vol and Pittsburgh Steeler Tee Martin, as well as former Iowa Hawkeye Brad Banks. They also have a guy who was born in Iowa, played in college at Cal-Berkeley, but is ironically named Tom Canada. Go figure.

Anyway, if the Dolphins ever get on board and decide to let Ricky Williams play in Canada, the CFL could see one hell of a battle for the rushing title this year. I wonder if it would be difficult for Canadian fans to get behind that. You know how some people can't get behind modern-day MLB home-run records because they take place in the steroid era? If Ricky and Onterrio were to rewrite the CFL's rushing records, would it cast a pall over the CFL that would come to be known as the tainted urine era?

It's good to see you find a home, Onterrio Smith. But I don't recommend crossing the border while in possession of the rubber dong that you were carrying for your "cousin."

Onterrio heads north to join Blue [Winnipeg Blue-Bombers]