friday Page 9 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

LeBron Introduces The World To His Sister LeBre'sha, Who Is Actually Just LeBron In Drag
It's that time of year here in New York City, when the rich people frolic through the streets in designer clothing more often than usual and pretend to watch tennis at the U.S. Open: Fashion Week is here!...

Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update
Saddled with an opening week loss that was blamed on referees and/or improper footwear, the Knox City Greyhounds needed something big to happen....

Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update
As you probably already know, the Knox City Greyhounds lost their season opener to Crowell 47-36....

Future First Man Marcus Bachmann Eating A Corn Dog? Future First Man Marcus Bachmann Eating A Corn Dog.
Michele Bachmann won the Ames, Iowa straw poll yesterday, which, according to Nate Silver, means she's the favorite to win the Iowa caucuses next year. And, if you follow this syllogism to its logical extreme, she's gonna win the Republican nomination and then the presidency. Or something....

Joe Paterno On Stroking And Big Kisses, Completely Out Of Context
Last night, ESPN hosted an hour-long feature called "'Difference Makers: Life Lessons with Paterno and Krzyzewski." The coaches talked about greatness and being great and the ways of the greats and how great it is to be great, and Rece Davis mentioned a few times that they were both quite great. I...

Hungover Rock Climber Poops Hisself
Here, watch this. It's old. But it's good! It also has poop. Whatever, it's a summer Friday....

After Poker Seizures, Justice Department Comes For Online Sportsbooks
Hello, folks. Welcome back to Bad Beats, the column you visit for betting advice and sad tales of gambling woe. Read past Bad Beats here. Got any stories for us? Email us at [email protected]. Subject: Bad Beats....

Soccer Team Signs One-Year-Old After Audition Goes Viral
Maybe you're one of the three-plus million folks who saw Baerke van der Meij putting away his toys with some well-placed boots. Adorable, right? Dutch Eredivise side VVV saw it too, and saw a future strike....

They're Still Playing "Friday" At NHL Games, And At Least One Grown Man Is Enjoying It
We know that internet memes generally have a very particular shelf life, and we respect that Rebecca Black's "Friday" phenomenon might have worn out its welcome by now. When we first posted the video to accompany another meme, it had 200,000 views; it now has 61 million views and a dedicated Tumbl...

Sabres Fans Tortured With Rebecca Black's "Friday"
If you haven't seen and laughed at this video yet, I don't think we can be Internet friends anymore. But a meme does not an arena anthem make; that's why it was so curious when our Buffalo correspondent texted to let us know that during last night's game against Carolina, the Sabres played "Friday...

Is This The Most Dick Move Imaginable In Sports?
There's nothing lower in pro spots than going for the groin. Alex Burrows went five-hole on Marc Staal last night, and, yes, the guy with the crushed testes got called for the penalty....

Your Black Friday Horror Stories
Some of you were forced to wake up at 2 a.m.. to brave the near-riot at the neighborhood Super Store for the crack-of-ass deals on pretty TVs. Here are the two submissions. Two. Really. You're done shopping, send us more....

Thanksgiving Stuffing: We Need Your High School Reunion And Black Friday Horror Stories
Since the end of this week will be pretty much kickoff Party Time In America, please help us fill your off-days with something good. You could win prizes and shit!...

The Most Russian Video Of All Time: Wolves Swarm Cop On Freeway
This is EXACTLY what I assumed life is like over there. [The Sun]...

Tuneful, Preppy Version Of "Bitches Ain't Shit" Suggests Bitches May Be Shit, After All
Oh, there's nothing quite like a post-ironic a cappella version of a white man's very ironic cover of a Dr. Dre song done by a group of spunky young tarts....

Horse Groomer Accuses Of "Grooming" Horse's Naughty Bits
A handler at Illinois's Arlington Park is accused of fondling one of the horses. If that didn't get it to run, I'm not sure I'd back it in the sixth. [Sun-Times]...

Werner Herzog's Thrilling Car Accident Rescue Story Has Been Animated
Saying Werner Herzog is interesting is an understatement. He gives that Dos Equis Guy a serious run for his money in the Interesting Department. Here's an animated version of the time he saved Joaquin Phoenix from a hideous car wreck. [Kottke]...

Cardinals Broadcaster Arrested For Drunken Driving, Smiles Beet-Faced For The Camera
Dan McLaughlin—the primary play-by-play guy for the Cardinals on Fox Sports Midwest—was arrested on Monday for suspicion of drunken driving just outside of St. Louis in Chesterfield and, well, he made a funny face. [St. Louis Today]...

Of Matters Concerning Mandatory Husband ESP
A couple weeks ago I wrote a post detailing ten questions to ask a woman before you propose to her. The most critical omission on this list was noted by MikeSmrek:...