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Let's Remember Some Guys, Big Box Full Of Garbage, Volume IIIYou can’t really know what your life’s great work will be when you begin it. Our days are full to overfull with work, but so little of that feels important. This is not to say that all of it is bullshit, although for most everyone some significant portion of it is invariably bullshit. It’s just tha...

"Amazing Grace" Played By Airhorns Is Our New National Anthem, BrehPlease, a moment of extreme silence to honor America and our Lord, for here is “Amazing Grace” played by a choir of airhorns. Hats off, hands on your hearts. Please direct your local place of worship to add this to the docket this Sunday, as it is both religious and our new national anthem. I litera...

U.S. Lose GloriouslyThe United States lost to Germany today, 1-0, but they're still advancing through the Group of Death to the World Cup's knockout stages after Portugal defeated Ghana 2-1. Germany finished first in the group, with the USMNT in second. Portugal and Ghana finished third and fourth, respectively....

Your United States-Portugal Open Thread

It's about that time. The United States of America take on Portugal. We're gonna do it, guys....

America's Most Patriotically Awful Band Is Back With A New Buttrock Jam

We haven't heard much from Madison Rising since they fart-rocked their way through the "Star Spangled Banner" at a NASCAR race, but "America's most patriotic band" has a new mishmash of hot guitar licks and raspy warbles about guns 'n trucks for us to rock out to....

IOC Forces U.S. Olympic Goalie To Take Constitution Off Mask

That up there was the mask U.S. women's hockey goalie Jessie Vetter was going to wear at the Sochi Olympics. At least until the IOC forced her to take an image of the Constitution off the back....

The USMNT Dances, Sings, And Chugs Beer After Victory Over Mexico

After clinching a World Cup berth with a 2-0 victory over Mexico, the USMNT came back out onto the field for some good old-fashioned celebrating, America style....

These Crazy Posters Will Get You So Amped For Fencing

The 2013 World Fencing Championships will be kicking off in Budapest on August 5, and the organizers of the event have come up with a creative way to get fans excited about this year's competition: crazy-ass posters!...