fuck Page 24 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

No Really, Look At This Fucking Hoopster
Tipster Ryan sent us this image of a hoopster at Lollapalooza, and this man is now the official king of all hoopsters. Irony will never be the same after this....

Look At This Fucking Heapster
Reader Landon sends this in from a free Grimes concert in New York City last night. Look at this fucking Heapster, indeed....

EBay Bidding On 215 Pairs Of Warren Sapp's Nikes Is Now At $16,500
As a "Young Person" who aspires to bring a sense of "flair" to his wardrobe, I own a bunch of colorful sneakers. Some of them are Air Jordans, though I find that Air Jordans generally give little bang for their buck. They're boxy and limited in their palettes. Elephant print is about as adventurous ...

Cincinnati News Station Duped By Fake Barbecue-Lovin' Jonathan Broxton Twitter Account
Jonathan Broxton was just traded to the Cincinnati Reds, which is of course big news at WCPO.com, a local ABC affiliate in Cincinnati....

Ann Romney's Horse Hangs Out With Assholes
So, part of my job as a Deadspin intern has involved writing some those fun Olympic field guides that you may have seen on the site recently. Today I started writing one about Ann Romney's dressage horse, Rafalca, who will be competing in the London Olympics. I wanted to get a nice photo of Rafalca...

How Not To Be The Biggest Asshole In Media: 4 Lessons I Learned From Meeting Jay Mariotti And Reading His Awful Book
It's been almost two years since Jay Mariotti last wrote a sports column or appeared on ESPN. In that time, sports media's ur-controversialist—a pioneer of the sportswriters-being-dicks-on-television genre—has pleaded no contest to misdemeanor stalking and assault-related charges stemming from a hai...

How To Fold A Fajita Without Looking Like Some Sort Of Dumbass
Oh, fajitas. Oh, how I adore you. The way you arrive at my table still sizzling on a metal platter. The way the waiter warns me to NEVER touch that metal platter, or else all my nerve endings will detonate. The way the steam comes up from the tortillas once I've lifted the lid on the tortilla-holder...

Look At These Fucking Loopsters: Chronicling The Indy 500
Some maniac on Twitter is scouring the web and documenting the Indianapolis 500 in picture form this afternoon. Here are a few of the snapshots we found most interesting. The whole thing is a wonderful contemplation on absurdity and Americana, however, so you should check it out throughout the day....

Roger Goodell (And Nike) Will Not Tolerate The NFL's Epidemic Of Bruised Thighs Anymore
When we last left the Ginger Hammer, he was sending Gregg Williams to the bad corner and proving, once and for all, that violence has no place in football. And today, Roger Goodell has yet taken yet another step in showing the world that HE MEANS GINGER BUSINESS when it comes to player safety. Pendi...

Cyndi Lauper Is Still Alive, Cursing Like A Sailor At Kentucky Derby Event
The Kentucky Derby is this afternoon and nothing says "prestigious first leg of the Triple Crown" like involving Cyndi Lauper in some low-rent celebratory parade....

Howard Schultz Gave Out $3.50 Starbucks Gift Cards: An Insider's Notes On The Shabby Death Of The Seattle SuperSonics
For those fans who believe that the only acceptable NBA champion is any team that's not the Miami Heat, the tempting choice is Oklahoma City. The Thunder have Kevin Durant's superlative set of skills, Russell Westbrook's freakish athleticism, and James Harden's 1840s prospector's beard. They are you...

Did Derrick Rose's Shoes Cause His Knee Injury?
Today, Chicago froths at a Nike shoe designer, Jason Petrie, who tweeted on Saturday that Derrick Rose should have signed with Nike, like LeBron did. LeBron, wrote Petrie, was only getting stronger, while Rose, thanks to his high-top adiZero Rose 2.5's, was toast, with a torn ACL....

Jeremy Guthrie on 15-Day Disabled List Because He Is A Bicycle-Riding Hippie
Jeremy Guthrie, who may have more in common with Arlo than previously thought, will "miss a couple starts" according to Rockies' manager Jim Tracy with some right AC joint pain....

The Cardinals Put The Rally Squirrel On Their World Series Rings
If being from St. Louis weren't already embarrassing, here's the rally squirrel, immortalized in gaudy jewels and precious metal. The rings, as noted in these consecutively written sentences were presented to the Cardinals yesterday and are meant to encapsulate the entire season....

Did Branch Rickey Sell Out Jackie Robinson?
Today Major League Baseball will do what it does best and celebrate its history. Today is Jackie Robinson Day and he will be rightfully honored in ballparks across the country. It is perhaps the quintessential baseball celebration: fond, sepia-toned remembrances that obscure reality. Some memories,...

Two Games In And The Boston Red Sox Are Being Compared To The Titanic
Oh, this is delicious. The usually level-headed and sane Dan Shaughnessy had a few things to say following the absolute drubbing of the Red Sox by the Detroit Tigers yesterday. This one had it all. An already-short-with-the-media Bobby Valentine, continued Josh Beckett injury speculation and Shaugh...

"Motherfuckin' Shit! Take Your Ass Home!" Or, Why The Baltimore Orioles Matter
The best night of the 2011 baseball season in Baltimore was the final one. For once, for the first time in years, the whole country was watching. And what it saw was a thing of joy. There were the Boston Red Sox, all $161 million worth of them, one out away from a 3-2 victory and, at worst, a one-ga...

Joey Votto's New Contract Is Like A Mortgage-Backed Security
Reds first baseman Joey Votto officially signed a big contract extension today. A big, honking deal: 10 years, $225 million, on top of the two years and $26 million the Reds already promised him for 2012 and 2013. There's an option year for 2024....

Thomas Hill, Duke's Famous Weeper, Finally Confesses: I Wasn't Crying
"The misconception is that there are tears coming out of my eyes," Thomas Hill told me on Thursday. "There weren't." Hill is the former Duke guard who in 1992 became the happily crumpled face of the Blue Devils' last-second victory over Kentucky in the Elite Eight—maybe the face of March Madness its...