fuck Page 36 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
THIS SEALS IT: CLEVELAND NOT IN PICTURE SAYS..RANDOM ILLITERATE VANDALISM
Still no official ESPN "DECISION"...yet. (And they were right.)...
The Decision: The Open Thread
The wait is almost over. Use this as your open thread for all LeBronukkah festivities. If you're feeling especially morbid, watch the happenings unfold with the sad sack patrons of a bar in Cleveland. Prediction: The Blazers pull off a coup....
FIST-EXPLOSION: LEBRON STAYING IN CLEVELAND, SAYS..."CUBES"
"Which is exactly why I think he is going back to the Cavs. The sports world is full of uncertainties. When in doubt, go for the love." [BlogMaverick, artwork via 9GAG]...
BREAKING: GREENWICH ABSOLUTELY SWARMING WITH PEOPLE JUST SORT OF MILLING AROUND
Our man in Connecticut, Craig Fehrman, took this photo a couple hours ago across the street from the Greenwich Boys and Girls Club. Craig reports: "The only fans there were that kid and a parental-looking figure [in the Cavs jersey], who was spelling his last name like a pro."...
ESPN Deploys LeBron Sad Trombone/Victory Reporting Team Just In Case Chris Broussard Is Completely Wrong
Many sources scampering around Bristol have relayed that, for all that careful hedging. ESPN's own Chris Broussard claims he's "99% positive" LeBron will sign with the Miami WadeBosh. And if he's wrong? Well, ESPN has boots on the ground....
Cleveland Fans React With Usual Grace And Tact
The message boards at CavFanatic, the largest Cavaliers fansite, are currently an apocalyptic wasteland, where not even hope will sprout through the salted earth. Here are some of the best comments, helpfully sorted into three categories:...
DONE FUCKING DEAL! LEBRON TO HEAT, SAYS...SOUTH BEACH PARTY PLANNERS
"LeBron James has rented six cabanas at the W Hotel South Beach this weekend to celebrate his team decision, two sources confirm." [US Magazine, image via Clevescene.com]...
LeBron Watch, Day 49: The Day We All Became Witnesses
At 9 p.m., the long-running soap opera over LeBron James's free agency will end, cementing the fact that the King's ego — not the things he does on the court — has become his defining characteristic....
LeBron James Is A Cocksucker
Tomorrow is the day LeBron James becomes the most unlikable person in the NBA, and perhaps all of American sports. I used to think he was okay a year ago. No more. He's the villain now....
KABOOM: LEBRON TO CHICAGO, SAYS...SOME GUY MONITORING SUMMIT COUNTY TAXATION OR SOMETHING
"FLASH: Summit Co. processed request TODAY to change address on tax bill for BJ'S home from an LLC in Cleveland to a new address in Chicago" [EricMansfield]...
TAKE IT TO THE BANK: LEBRON STILL GOING TO KNICKS AND STEPHEN A. IS MISINFORMED, SAYS...SAME GUY FROM BEFORE
"in 28 hours we will find out who's right Stephen or NYCRAY. Is the KNICKS and no other team. Hook, Line, Sinker....... DONE" [@nyc_ray, photo via DeviantART]...
БЛЯТЬ! LEBRON TO KNICKS, SAYS...CAPITALISM
"There's been twice as many contracts sold to people betting that MSG stock will rise to $22.50 by the end of the month as compared to people betting it will fall to $20 by July's end." [CNBC, painting by our own OchentaYcinco]...
HEAVENS TO BETSY: LEBRON TO MATTOON, SAYS...STONED LOCAL
"@DEADSPIN Librarian sez WE'RE GONNA NEED SOME MORE ROLLOUT BLEACHERS!" [@williamfleitch]...
CHERRY-TOP THAT BITCH: LEBRON GOING TO NEW YORK SAYS...YET ANOTHER GUY
"@Deadspin only NEW YORK that's it" [NYCRay, image via deviantART]...
HOLD THE MAYO: LEBRON TO BULLS SAYS...SOME OTHER GUY
"Sources: BREAKING NEWS!!! LeBron James told the Chicago Bulls that he is going to sign with them. Will break the news tomorrow night at 9pm!" [@DAYV0N, painting via Fine Art America]...
MARK IT DOWN: LEBRON GOING TO NEW YORK/NEW JERSEY METROPOLITAN REGION SAYS...CHAD OCHOCINCO
"*Empire State of Mind* *wink* *wink*only the smart folk will put this together and figure out what i am talking about #6" [OchoCincoNewsNetwork, image via deviantART]...
BOOK IT: LEBRON GOING TO KNICKS, SAYS...SOME GUY
From Tips: A friend at ESPN (Bristol) just texted me that Lebron is going to the Knicks. It came across the wire. Another friend at ESPN just confirmed it....This changes everything…...
ABSOLUTELY ROCK SOLID: LEBRON GOING TO KNICKS SAYS...JARED DUDLEY
"Breaking News!!! My sources tell me Lebron will announce that he will be goin to the NY KNICKS tomorrow on ESPN.. This is serious.. WOW!!!!" [JaredDudleyTwitter, photo via Esquire]...
IT'S A LOCK: LEBRON GOING TO MIAMI, SAYS...STEPHEN A. SMITH
"For the record: I haven't changed my position. Learn [sic] is going to MIAMI. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong damn it. Stop bugging me until he speaks." [@stephenasmith, image via deviantART]...
Last Night's Winner: ESPN, According To ESPN
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like ESPN, which is reporting that LeBron James will declare his intentions Thursday during a one-hour special televised by ESPN, according to ESPN's sources....