fuck Page 37 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
LeBron To Announce Decision Via Twitter?
@kingjames lies dormant. "Wednesday," some say. He shall speak, and we shall behold. #Witness....
Weekend Winner: Free Agents Breaking The Bank
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like NBA free agents, who are just flat out getting paid. I thought we were headed for a work stoppage? Actually, that's probably why these contracts are flying....
Dwyane Wade Makes Loyal Fans Feel Like Kicked Puppies
This is just about the saddest thing ever. A bunch of Heat fans woke up ass-early to greet Wade at the airport after returning from his free agent visits. He flew in to a different terminal, standing them all up....
Dear LeBron: You See This Shit?
Joe Johnson announced he's returning to the Hawks, and he did it via a column in the Huffington Post. I think you and I, LeBron, can do better than that. I've got a proposition for you....
Deadspin Classic: How To Tap A Fucking Keg
For Spring Break, The Awl contributor Abe Sauer taught you how to get at that delicious, delicious beer. Well, you're not a college student now; you're a man, and you have friends and family to keep hydrated this holiday weekend....
LeBron James Breaks The Interwebs
ESPN.com is down, thanks to LeBronukah. Luckily, Brian Windhorst's absurdly detailed Twitter feed is still up and running....
LeBron Watch, Day 42: Two Reasons LeBron Can't Leave Cleveland
Turn off ESPN. Fold the newspaper. Ignore talk radio. Until LeBron signs somewhere, all of the experts are going to blather on that they "know" where LeBron is going. Save your time. Read this instead. ...
This Free-Agency Business Will Make A Lot More Sense After Tonight, Maybe
Where are those three guys going? No one knows for sure, but it's been a lot of fun speculating wildly and laughing at others' predictions, hasn't it?...
Chad Ford Reduces LeBron Sweepstakes To Their Absurd Essence
It was Chad Ford who kickstarted the LeBron-to-Chicago talk, and now, a month-and-a-half later, as we career toward LeDefcon 1, it is Chad Ford who brings the conversation to its natural endpoint: quoting a waiter in a Chicago steakhouse....
Crucial Relationship Advice Spoken Drunkenly To Teenagers: Cheat On All Your Girlfriends
I went to a bachelor party this weekend in a seaside town. There was eating, and drinking, and a failed attempt to get two Polish Food Lion clerkettes to come over and massage the groom....
Utah Joins Pac-10; Spacetime Folds In On Itself
TERROR! SCHOOL IN AMERICAN SOUTHWEST THAT USED TO PLAY SPORTS AGAINST SMALL SCHOOLS IN WESTERN STATES WILL NOW PLAY SPORTS AGAINST LARGE SCHOOLS IN WESTERN STATES! [Salt Lake Tribune]...
Hey, More Realignment Rumors. Awesome.
Oh no, we're not done. The Texas League may have settled their little dust up, but Crazy Conference Chatter is not over. The Pac-11 still needs a 12th man and the Big East will apparently take whatever they can get....
Texas A&M AD Challenges Alum To Fight, Alum Sadly Doesn't Accept
Bill Byrne, athletic director at Texas A&M, made an embarrassing gaffe this week when he revealed himself to be a terribly old man who doesn't understand email. He should know by now that all internet threats are empty threats....
Last Night's Winner: Joe Schadenfreude
In sports, everyone's a winner — some just win better than others. Like Chip Brown of Orangebloods.com, who went sources-against-sources with ESPN's college football show pony, Joe Schad, during the Big 12 realignment saga and won the battle of truth....
Conference-ocalypse Averted, Big 12 Is The New Big 10
So today was apparently not a good day for the Big 12 to die. Despite all reports to the contrary, Texas will apparently stay in the Big 12 South and the Pac-10 is now stuck with Colorado....
FedEx: When You Absolutely, Positively Need Your Son's Team To Play In A BCS Conference
Memphis, stricken by Realignment Fever, is trying to negotiate their way into a bigger conference or, failing that, find a wealthy benefactor to buy them one. Thankfully, they (and their quarterback) have an international conglomerate at their disposal....
The One Where The Mets Get Started Early For USA-England
Continental Harbor Hotel, Baltimore, Md.: Saturday before the USA v England game in Baltimore. We tried to get them to come to Hooters with us to watch the game but they had to go to bp I assume — Darcy D....
England Now Just One Enormous Cock-Up
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Nebraska Dumps Big 12 As NCAA Apocalypto Machine Continues To Churn
HOLY FUCKING HUSKER DICK. NEBRASKA HAS VACATED THE BIG 12 AND HAS FORMALLY APPLIED TO THE BIG 10, BUT SINCE TWO TEAMS LEFT THE BIG 12, WILL THERE BE TWO BIG 10'S NOW OR TWO BIG 12'S? CHEW ON THAT. [TeamSpeedKills]...
Boise State To Mountain West; Course Of Human Existence, WAC Football Irrevocably Altered
APOCALYPSE! SCHOOL IN IDAHO THAT USED TO PLAY SPORTS AGAINST SMALLISH SCHOOLS IN WESTERN STATES NOW PLAYING SPORTS AGAINST SLIGHTLY LARGER SCHOOLS IN WESTERN STATES! [TheMWC.com]...