fuck Page 4 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Stove Is So Cold That Now We Have To Entertain The Padres
Baseball’s hot stove should have burned bright and hot and then shut off by this point in the offseason, given that there are less than two weeks to go until spring training. Instead, the free agent process is all but guaranteed to trudge on through February, as solid potential additions including D...
Anthony Davis Might Not Play Again This Season, For The Most Bullcrap Of Reasons
The Pelicans are already moving on from Anthony Davis. Dell Demps might be stuck in the denial phase—he is reportedly “not picking up the phone” to field incoming trade inquiries—but the team has already yanked Davis out of their standard pregame hype video, and pulled his image from their Twitter p...
NBA Investigating Anthony Davis Trade Request For Signs Of Self-Tampering
Anthony Davis has requested a trade from the New Orleans Pelicans, a half-assed basketball operation that squandered all but a few hours of his NBA career to date. Adrian Wojnarowski reported it; he had the scoop because Rich Paul, Davis’s agent, told him. Just a few hours later, the Pelicans public...
League Mourns As Teams Realize DeMarcus Cousins Is Still Pretty Damn Good At Basketball
Whelp, that was fun while it lasted. The brief period where we could pretend to believe that other teams besides the Warriors had a chance at making a run for an NBA title is officially over after DeMarcus “Boogie” Cousins made his season debut for the Warriors on Friday against the Clippers in a 11...
The Big Boy President Threw A Burger Party For His Football Pals
Here is the dream, as I imagine it: A bunch of football players are in the White House. Let’s just say they’re the 1985 Chicago Bears, and let’s further say that they’re doing The Super Bowl Shuffle for reasons that are not immediately apparent. We must say this because the dream is not mine—the dre...
Baseball Doesn't Need Collusion To Turn Off The Hot Stove
The baseball panic is rising. With every additional day that Bryce Harper and Manny Machado go unsigned—and Dallas Keuchel and Mike Moustakas and A.J. Pollock and Craig Kimbrel—the drumbeat strengthens: Something is wrong here. After all, as has been pointed out here, every team could use a Manny Ma...
We're Approaching The Endgame Of The Machado/Harper Negotiations
Depending on how much you’re willing to believe the reported rumors, there appear to now be clear frontrunners in what seems to be at best to be three-team races for top free agents Bryce Harper and Manny Machado....
White Sox Sign Shitty Player
The Chicago White Sox did their part to keep the hot stove warm enough that you could put an oven mitt on it, then come back 10 minutes later to find it mildly toasty and perhaps worthy of being ranked as a warmth, by announcing the signing of shitty outfielder Jon Jay today....
It's Time For Some Bryce Harper Game Theory
When last we left the Bryce Harper Derby ... absolutely nothing was happening, or so we were led to believe. The 26-year-old superstar outfield has been taking his time, sitting on (as far as we know) a single formal offer, $300 million over 10 years, from the Washington Nationals. The offer was mad...
Maybe A Troy Tulowitzki Signing Will Tide You Over While You Wait On Manny Machado
We’ve been preheating the damn oven for two months, but now that it’s 2019 perhaps we are finally entering the hot stove season we’ve been so rudely denied? The Yankees have signed a multi-time all-star, multi–gold glove winning shortstop!...just not that one....
Dodgers Deal Yasiel Puig To Reds In Otherwise Bleak Multi-Player Salary Dump
The Dodgers and Reds just completed a “monster deal” of a trade, trading Yasiel Puig, Matt Kemp, Kyle Farmer, and Alex Wood to the Reds in exchange for Homer Bailey, who went 1-14 last year, as well as minor league shortstop Jeter Downs and rookie ball pitcher Josiah Gray. Downs and Gray are the sev...
American Soccer Is Fine
Zack Steffen, an American soccer player who currently plies his trade on U.S. soil, is set to join the English Premier League’s reigning champions. The Columbus Crew have announced that the MLS Goalkeeper of the Year will be moved to Manchester City Football Club next summer for an undisclosed trans...
Report: Anonymous Executive Says "That Whole Anthem Issue" Will Keep Bruce Maxwell Out Of Baseball
Former Athletic Bruce Maxwell is currently without a team, and is distressed enough about it that he recently fired his agent. Teams need catchers—it seems like half the league is circling around Marlins catcher J.T. Realmuto—and Maxwell is a catcher, and while he would be exactly no one’s idea of a...
It's Pretty Messed Up That The Red Sox Might Be Shedding Payroll
The championship window is rarely open as long as you’d like or expect it to be—just ask the 2014 Red Sox. And the current defending World Series champs can see it coming. In the next two to three years, Boston is going to have to worry about the following players hitting the open market: Chris Sale...
The Mets Are Ready To Get Weird
It was, from the outside, a quiet day in Las Vegas for the second day of baseball’s winter meetings. Not much stirring; a chilly day in the desert. But inside? Oh, inside, that stove is red fucking hot....
Nationals Somehow Add New Layers Of Humiliation To Loss Of Bryce Harper
The Nationals have historically acquitted themselves far better in free agency than their fellow DC professional sports teams, at least two of whom are excruciatingly awful at signing players. But in their hurry to announce their franchise-altering failure to retain Bryce Harper, they appear to have...
Nationals Owner Mark Lerner On Bryce Harper: "I Really Don't Expect Him To Come Back"
The Bryce Harper free agency sweepstakes are underway, and the Nationals seem to already know where they stand in the race. Their offer to Harper, which was first reported last month, is somewhere in the range of 10 years and $300 million. That is probably less than other interested parties will pu...
You Can Pry My Headphone Jack From My Cold Dead Hands
I purchased my last iPhone in the summer of 2016 and I’m still using it. But this blog is not a boast about how I am resisting consumerism and striking a blow against Apple’s dedication to planned obsolescence. I’m not bragging about how I haven’t (yet) dropped my phone in the toilet. The purchase d...