fun Page 42 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Brian Kelly Gets The "U Mad Bro?" College GameDay Sign Treatment
If Notre Dame's coach is mad, bro, Kirk Herbstreit ain't sayin', bro. Also, this:...
The <em>Postmortal</em> Live Funbag
Two and a half years ago, I was laid off from my day job in advertising. And since I had to find a way to make enough money to support my family (blogging didn't quite make up the difference), I knew I had to do something productive with all of the newfound free time I had. Something big. I don't kn...
Farting At Urinals: An Exploration In Etiquette
The Postmortal drops a week from today, and to celebrate the release, next week's edition of the Deadspin Funbag will be a LIVE FUNBAG. We'll throw the post up around noon, then you can send in questions for the next three hours (via email or the comments) and I'll answer them in real time. All you ...
Deaf Minnesotans Probably Equate High-School Football Preseason With Caligulan Rabbit Breeding
Scott Seroka of KARE 11 News in Minneapolis just wanted to tease a back-to-school angle about local high-school football teams returning to two-a-day practices the following week. Closed captioning for the hearing impaired took it from there and added some sexual seasoning....
Could You Beat Kobe In Beer Pong?
I was about to go to bed the other night when my wife let me know that, earlier in the day, she had found an enormous spider right under my pillow....
Envisioning The Death Of The NBA
I have a lingering personal defect, which is that I always, without fail, overestimate the power of both staplers and hole punchers. If I have a stack of 50 pages that I need stapled and I see a tinyass Swingline stapler and I'm like, "NO PROBLEMO." Then I go to staple the pages together and the sta...
Fox Has Some Odd Advice For What Cole Hamels Should Do On The Pitchers Mound Today
In all likelihood, Kenny Albert probably wishes his broadcast-booth script just said, "Throw a curve" instead of the "drop a deuce" line he just uttered on air....
The Official Deadspin Guide To Booger Growth
I built a new PC this weekend, and by "I built it" I mean I stood there while my brother-in-law, who knows a lot about computers, assembled it. I probably should have washed the Sun Chips cheese powder off my hands before touching the processor. It's very cool to sit there for a day and take a look ...
Dog Feces Vs. Human Feces: WHO YA GOT?!
I was at the gym earlier today and I was in the shower. The shower at the gym has an opaque glass door, but the door only goes up to my neck, so anyone in the locker room can see my big fat alien head while I'm showering. Anyway, I'm standing there washing off, nothing malevolent. And for some reaso...
Is Going Commando In Gym Shorts OK?
Before I get to the Funbag, just a quick reminder that I'll be at Comic Con on Saturday, doing the Immortality panel at 10AM in Room 7AB. You can buy a copy of "The Postmortal" a month early if you go. And you get to meet me! And then you get to ignore me when you realize that one of the dudes who w...
Now You Can Watch US Women's Coach Pia Sundhage Sing Her Groovy Tunes
We ran a short item this morning on the musical stylings of Pia Sundhage, coach of the US Women's National Team. She sings to keep her players in line. We're told Joe Paterno does the same thing with Tony Bennett standards....
Would You Kill A Stranger To Save Football?
Last week, I went to the gym and went inside the locker room to change before I worked out (POWER LIFTING GRRR STRONG!), and when I went to pull my gym clothes out of the bag a pair of my kid's underwear went flying out of the bag onto the floor. They had gotten there by accident during laundry fold...
Exclusive: We've Obtained Audited Financials For The NFL League Office
These are audited financial statements for the NFL's league office, the nerve center of professional football, covering the years ended March 31, 2009, and March 31, 2010. The documents below deal with only one piece of NFL operations, and there aren't any obviously mind-melting revelations about th...
Here's Your Commemorative Keepsake Poster Of The Sun Pornographically Manipulating A Thermometer
In consulting with the National Weather Service and American Red Cross, two USA Today graphic artists apparently found a way to illustrate the dangerous dog-days of summer as a sun blowing and tightly gripping a thermomedong....
Hookers And Cosplay And You!
I was at the airport the other day and we were an hour or two early for our flight because I've inherited my mother's paranoia with regards to missing flights. So we're sitting in the terminal with nothing to do when I remember that we walked by an arcade on the way to the gate. So I grab both of my...
What's The Best Way To Clean Up Spooge After Bareback Sex?
Hey, I'm some lady. I'm filling in for that guy you like, who is on vacation, which means that he is most likely drinking rum out of a hollow fruit and riding a horse on a beach somewhere right now (romantic!). Speaking of segueing into talking about horses, my main beef with horses is how fragile t...
Litigious, Displaced, Already Reiumbursed Super Bowl Fans Are Asking For Even More Money
Hey, remember those cranky folks who couldn't get their Super Bowl seats? Remember how they're suing, and how $5 million wouldn't be enough in remuneration?...
Dilbert's Necktie Is Erect Because It Wants To Rape Ladies, Naturally
Leading philosopher cartoon merchandiser Scott Adams, of Dilbert fame, has some new thoughts about masculinity, to go with his earlier, now-deleted meditation on men's rights. Why is there so much news about men "tweeting, raping, cheating, and being offensive"?...
These Two Guys Would've Gotten Away With Busting Into Coors Field If It Wasn't For A Pesky Security Guard
Your morning roundup for June 19, the day some sexy finally came out of the Vancouver riots (it starts at 0:45 of this video), and the day we all wish a Happy Father's Day to the appropriate person in our lives....