fun Page 51 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Eli and Peyton Enjoy Synchronized Concert-going
The Manning brothers were at Irving Plaza last night rocking out to some Better Than Ezra with the normal folks. Unlike normal folks, they did it in matching bad-ass blazers....
USC Names O'Neill As Men's Basketball Coach
USC has hired Kevin O'Neill as their new men's basketball coach. It's not the best job in sports, but it's better than working for the Grizzlies. Just keep an eye on the petty cash. [ESPN]...
Bernie Kosar is Broke
Bernie Kosar has proven himself to be a better quarterback than businessman. Kosar has filed for bankruptcy after bad investments have landed him in over $19 million in debt....
Travis Henry Leads The League In Illegitimate Children
Travis Henry just may surpass Jason Caffey in their "who can have more illegitimate children" contest. A Florida woman is claiming that Henry is the father of her 18 month-old twins....
A's Fan Gets $500K For Being A Douchebag
Attorney scores a settlement from the A's after a lawsuit claiming gender discrimination for not getting a breast cancer hat on Mother's Day. Expect upcoming lawsuits against Curves, gynecologists, and child birth. [NBC Philadelphia]...
Stay In School, Kids (And You'll Be Smarter Than Any Major Leaguer)
The Wall Street Journal has discovered that out of all current Major League Baseball players and managers, only 26 have four-year college degrees. 26! And only three of those know how to calculate VORP. [WSJ]...
<em>Sports Illustrated</em>'s Many, Many Chosen Ones
Here's the cover of the new Sports Illustrated, in which 16-year-old Bryce Harper is declared the "Chosen One." Sound familiar? It should....
How To Entertain Yourself Today If You Don't Have A Bigass Touchscreen
Well, hell, CNN gave John King one for the 2008 election. Why doesn't Michael Smith get one for the NFL Draft?...
Elijah Dukes Uses His Powers For Good, Still Gets Into Trouble
Elijah Dukes spent Saturday afternoon signing autographs for Little Leaguers. Naturally, that led to him being benched, a crushing defeat for the Nationals, and a teammate with a broken ankle....
'Where's The Love?,' Asks Blogger Who Broke Green Death Email Story
Call this the story of how a Boston blogger broke the "Green Death Crazy Soccer Coach Email" story, yet somehow failed to get any credit for it....
Young Florida Fan Gets Preview Of College Life
Just guessing, but this is probably exactly how Michael Phelps acted during that South Carolina frat party. (Examines fingers) ... "Is this real life?"...
Feds Say They Have The Smoking Gun, Er, Urine Sample, In Bonds Perjury Case
You thought that you were in the clear on this steroids thing, Barry, but like all criminals, you made one key mistake. You peed in a cup....
The French Judge Gives Them A 10
Something that wasn't mentioned in Tuesday's inaugural address: The Russians are way ahead of us in boob slip technology. (Following link NSFW)....
Dean Wormer NFL Unveils Fan Code Of Conduct
The NFL is rolling out a Fan Code of Conduct, and be advised that if you don't follow it to the letter, you'll be pummeled like a Tibetan monk at a Chinese police picnic. Among other things, "unruly" or "disruptive" behavior is forbidden. Also, "abusive language." They might as well sell the Jets ri...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after voting for a Schmuck ... • MLB: Cubs at Brewers (8 p.m., ET). Fire up the 12-person beer bong. [WGN] • MLB: Diamondbacks at Padres (10:10 p.m., ET). ComicCon moves out of town, Padres move back in. [FSN] [Channel 4 Padres] • Documentary: City on Fire, The Story of the '68 Detroit...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch on the subway ... • MLB: Brewers at Cardinals. (7 p.m., ET). Ray Durham acquisition tips the balance of power. [ESPN] • MLB: Rangers at White Sox. (8:11 p.m., ET). I'll meet you in front of the Harold Baines statue. [KDFI] [WCIU] • Cycling: Tour de France (8 p.m., ET). This is a rest d...
Third Circuit Tosses Indecency Fine Against CBS For Jackson's Nipple
In a victory for fans of nipples everywhere, a three judge panel of the Third Circuit found that the FCC "acted abitrarily and capriciously" in imposing their fine against CBS....
When Jelly Wrestling Gets Ugly
Normally I wouldn't deign to write about such a mindless activity as collegiate jelly wrestling, but this story is way too good to pass up. The Daily Mail (via Unprofessional Foul) comes the story of a Cambridge lass who took a match of jelly wrestling a bit too seriously....
The Nets Are Pulling Out All The Promotional Stops
Well, we suppose this was inevitable. Now that the Nets have lost Jason Kidd and look like they're not going to be particularly compelling until they get to Brooklyn — just a mile or so from our apartment! — they've breaking out the big promotional guns: cheap gas!...
About Last Night
What you missed while loading the photon torpedoes of love ... • NBA: Celtics beat Lakers 103-83 131-92 to take series, move on to face ... wait, it's over? The NBA season is over? Oh blessed summertime, I can embrace you now! Fresh air, flowers, glorious sun! WE ARE FREE! • College baseball: Smack ...