fun Page 51 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ex-Patriots Rough Up Some Children For Charity
Cameramen aren't the only people who need to be wary around the Patriots. A lesson learned too late for some students who thought they were going to meet their heroes in the name of a good cause. Instead: carnage....

Minnesota Vikings Wide Receiver Bernard Berrian Has A Bit Of A Twitter Controversy Brewing
It appears that Bernard Berrian might have some 'splainin' to do after a photo of a naked woman showering turned up via "TweetPhoto" on his Twitter account....

Lions Coach Mocks Matthew Stafford
Jim Schwartz had a bit of fun at the expense of the future of the Lions. He showed the whole team some vacation pictures, and then he said: "I thought I had a fun vacation - until I saw this.''...

If You Want a Ride In James Harrison's Smart Car, Ask For a Ride in James Harrison's Smart Car When He Hasn't Won the Super Bowl
James Harrison, who is reportedly afraid of one perfectly dignified method of transportation, showed up to training camp in in a tiny German clown car. He is driving it for the children!...

Jay Mariotti On Erin Andrews, AutoSummarized
"Why was the Internet ... giving semi-lives to people with no lives?" thunders Mariotti, who writes for the Internet. The column goes on in this vein for 1,500 words. Let's send this through Microsoft Word's AutoSummarize function, shall we?...

Somehow, Michael Jackson Was Partly Responsible For Magic Johnson's Greatness
I applaud Magic Johnson's ability to personalize it: "the way he controlled the band...the stage." But I'm sure he'd use the same approach if he were eulogizing a painter or a vacuum cleaner repairman. [Gawker]...

Joe Morgan Clarifies One Fib, Possibly Tells Another
As you know, Joe Morgan, the human sic, told a bit of a stretcher during last Sunday's broadcast. Yesterday, he clarified the matter in a way only Joe Morgan could. By maybe lying again....

Let's All Jump Into Puddles
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Eli and Peyton Enjoy Synchronized Concert-going
The Manning brothers were at Irving Plaza last night rocking out to some Better Than Ezra with the normal folks. Unlike normal folks, they did it in matching bad-ass blazers....

USC Names O'Neill As Men's Basketball Coach
USC has hired Kevin O'Neill as their new men's basketball coach. It's not the best job in sports, but it's better than working for the Grizzlies. Just keep an eye on the petty cash. [ESPN]...

Bernie Kosar is Broke
Bernie Kosar has proven himself to be a better quarterback than businessman. Kosar has filed for bankruptcy after bad investments have landed him in over $19 million in debt....

Travis Henry Leads The League In Illegitimate Children
Travis Henry just may surpass Jason Caffey in their "who can have more illegitimate children" contest. A Florida woman is claiming that Henry is the father of her 18 month-old twins....

A's Fan Gets $500K For Being A Douchebag
Attorney scores a settlement from the A's after a lawsuit claiming gender discrimination for not getting a breast cancer hat on Mother's Day. Expect upcoming lawsuits against Curves, gynecologists, and child birth. [NBC Philadelphia]...

Stay In School, Kids (And You'll Be Smarter Than Any Major Leaguer)
The Wall Street Journal has discovered that out of all current Major League Baseball players and managers, only 26 have four-year college degrees. 26! And only three of those know how to calculate VORP. [WSJ]...

<em>Sports Illustrated</em>'s Many, Many Chosen Ones
Here's the cover of the new Sports Illustrated, in which 16-year-old Bryce Harper is declared the "Chosen One." Sound familiar? It should....

How To Entertain Yourself Today If You Don't Have A Bigass Touchscreen
Well, hell, CNN gave John King one for the 2008 election. Why doesn't Michael Smith get one for the NFL Draft?...

Elijah Dukes Uses His Powers For Good, Still Gets Into Trouble
Elijah Dukes spent Saturday afternoon signing autographs for Little Leaguers. Naturally, that led to him being benched, a crushing defeat for the Nationals, and a teammate with a broken ankle....

'Where's The Love?,' Asks Blogger Who Broke Green Death Email Story
Call this the story of how a Boston blogger broke the "Green Death Crazy Soccer Coach Email" story, yet somehow failed to get any credit for it....

Young Florida Fan Gets Preview Of College Life
Just guessing, but this is probably exactly how Michael Phelps acted during that South Carolina frat party. (Examines fingers) ... "Is this real life?"...

Feds Say They Have The Smoking Gun, Er, Urine Sample, In Bonds Perjury Case
You thought that you were in the clear on this steroids thing, Barry, but like all criminals, you made one key mistake. You peed in a cup....