funbag Page 4 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
2017 America Is The Perfect Hellscape For A Free O.J. Simpson
We have all manner of business to get to before digging into the Funbag, the most pressing of which is that WHY YOUR TEAM SUCKS begins soon. That means you should send your entries into the email link above, and you should do it sooner rather than later because I’ve been having to close submissions ...
Who Has The Best Hair In Sports?<em></em>
Are you in Denver right now? WHAT A COINCIDENCE, so am I! Why it’s like we’re practically family. Anyway, I have a reading at the Tattered Cover tonight. Come out and try to guess if I smoked legal weed BEFORE the signing, or if I had the willpower and professionalism to wait until afterward....
Parsley Isn’t Just For Losers
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re talking menu boards, pets, pubes, ad music, and more....
Late Lunch Is Horseshit<em></em>
I was on a plane last week and I was sitting behind a mom traveling alone with two tiny kids. For the last half hour of the flight, the toddler was screaming her head off. Now, that’s not the interesting part. Toddlers scream on airplanes all the time, which is why most people bring along headphones...
What's The Best Store To Daydream About Robbing?<em></em>
Before we get down into the guts of the Funbag, some very dry and tedious busywork: First, I got a newsletter now, because making people sign up for spam is the hot new thing in tech. Secondly, I got another book tour coming next month. I wish there were tour shirts to go with it, like when Megadeth...
Is An Unbeaten Playoff Run More Impressive Than 73 Wins?
Your letters:...
Should NBA Games Play To A Score Instead Of A Clock?<em></em>
Your letters:...
Will Cars Ever Die?<em></em>
Before we get into the Funbag, here are some quick announcements. First of all, I started a newsletter, which you can subscribe to here if you feel like doing that to yourself. Secondly, The Hike comes out in paperback on July 4. There will be a small tour, with the requisite drinking and merriment....
How The Wizards Ended Up With The Worst Team Name In Sports
Your letters:...
Which TV Shows Have The Most People Boned To?
Time for your letters! ...
What Is The Worst Car Color?<em></em>
Former Deadspinner and biannual blogger Kyle Wagner told me yesterday that he got a three-piece from Popeyes and there was no thigh in the box. Can you imagine that? I’d fucking die if my Popeyes order didn’t have a thigh in it. That knob of skin fat that’s just hanging off? That’s the best part of ...
The Evil New Toy Fad That Must Be Destroyed<em></em>
I was on single parent duty this weekend because the wife was on a gals’ vacation, so I took my older son to a soccer game and had to bring the younger one as well. And before we left, I asked the four-year-old, “You wanna use the bathroom?”...
Knives, Ranked<em></em>
I had an annoying dream the other night where I was in an airport and missed a flight. I woke up, shook it off, and then went right back to sleep. And you know what happened? The dream CONTINUED. I shut my eyes and was right back with the fucking gate agent. You know how many times I’ve tried to kee...
What Is The Best Sporting Event To Attend While Drunk?<em></em>
Your letters:...
Sports Sounds, Ranked
I was tired and sore the other day so I took a bath for the first time in, like, 20 years. It was a bad idea. There’s no way for a man my age to sit down in a bathtub without pulling eight different muscle groups. Once I finally lowered myself down, I didn’t fit in it at all. I had to do a kind of b...
