funbag Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How Many Squares Of TP Do You Use Per Wipe?
Hey, it’s Valentine’s Day! They actually banned candy from valentines at my kid’s school this year. I assume this is because at least one child in the class has a deadly LOVE allergy. Regardless, the candy ban instantly rendered Valentine’s Day meaningless to every student. They’re now as indifferen...
What Is The Worst Bodily Fluid To Clean Up?<em></em>
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I Bought A Fake Christmas Tree Because I’m Not A Deluded Simpleton
Before we get into the Funbag, some basic housecleaning: There will NOT be a Funbag next week. Go watch a movie, or take a road trip, or eat the entire caramel section of one of those big popcorn tins instead. I’ll be back in the New Year. Also, if Santa doesn’t get you The Hike for Christmas, tell ...
A Fail-Safe Guide To Your Kid’s Christmas Pageant<em></em>
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What Is The Grossest Thing You’ve Ever Eaten Off A Child’s Plate?<em></em>
We are now deep inside the noggy bowels of the Christmas Shopping Season. And while I can’t offer you any special Black Friday or Cyber Monday or Taco Tuesday savings on The Hike, I can tell you that it makes the perfect gift for anyone who refuses to tell you what they want for Christmas and theref...
Raising Siblings: A Guide To How Fucked You Are
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How Long Can You Wear Championship Gear?<em></em>
Hey, it’s Election Day! You should go vote. Unless you forgot to register, in which case it’s probably too late, in which case you are utterly powerless to control the country’s destiny, in which case we may all burn forever as a result of your negligence, in which case you should hide when we come ...
Do Assholes Know They’re Assholes?<em></em>
Before we get into the Funbag, are you going to New York Comic Con? Of course you are! All the best nerds are gonna be there: Lewis, Gilbert, Booger, Wormser, etc. And I’ll be there tomorrow, too. So come on by the Penguin booth at 10:00 am and get a ticket for a free copy of The Hike (I’ll sign it ...
Lamp Switches, Ranked<em></em>
Before we get into the Funbag, I must note that the parade of tiresome book-flogging continues next month at New York Comic Con. On 10/6 at 10:45am, the Penguin booth at the Con will be giving away 30 copies of The Hike for free. And then there’s a panel and another signing later that day. So put on...
What Happens If Trump Calls Hillary A "Bitch" During The Debate?
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