futility - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Orioles Probably Didn't Even Notice They Were Eliminated From Playoff ContentionThe Orioles brought the inevitable to reality on Friday, officially getting eliminated from playoff contention with a 7-1 loss to the Rays. All things considered, the news probably isn’t hitting the clubhouse too hard. For one thing, the players will get a much-needed break away from this hellish se...
![Chris Davis Is Now Officially Part Of Miserable Baseball History [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/vqsjefshcmjvaq1svslv.jpg)
Chris Davis Is Now Officially Part Of Miserable Baseball History [Update]Chris Davis has done it, it being a thing he definitely didn’t want to do. The Baltimore Orioles’ slugger—uh, hitter—uh, statue—lined out to left in the bottom of the fifth in tonight’s game against the Oakland Athletics. In doing so, he reached an 0-for-47 mark which began Sept. 14 of last season, ...
Life Is Futile
Look to the children for inspiration... or don’t, as they tried to retrieve a football stuck in a tree, got another football stuck in the tree, and continue in a futile effort to get back what has probably been lost forever....
How To Soberly Hang With The Drunk
Recently I’ve gotten some practice in the art of hanging out with very drunk people while not imbibing anything myself. In the process, I developed two general strategies to make this scenario a little livelier....
How To Pick A Gift For A Baby
There are 4.3 babies born in the world every second. Maybe there’s 1.0 new baby in your world and you need to appease it with a gift. How?...
Harry Kane's Futile Free Kick Against Iceland Gets The Roasting It Deserves
Straight up sports and pop culture mashups are usually bad. But occasionally, they are silly enough to work, like this one, in which Harry Kane’s wayward free kick in England’s pantsing by Iceland gets the Titanic-themed dramatization it deserves....
The Yankees Are The Worst Right-Handed Hitting Team Ever
Originally published on Baseball Prospectus...
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Watch Jack Nicholson And Adam Sandler Dismissively Leave Another Crappy Lakers Game
It's an all too common trope to declare that one specific moment somehow encapsulates a team's entire season, but this one specific moment somehow encapsulates the Lakers' entire season: Jack Nicholson, himself an aging star that provides less and less on return as he gets older, sarcastically wav...
Guest Editor Intro: I Am Delusional and I Hate Winners
Good morning, sports fans. You are looking LIVE at—well, at a post I wrote yesterday and put in the can in advance....