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When Gordon Hayward's Ankle Bent The Extreme Wrong Way
Welcome back to Sports Horror Stories, a video series where we remember that sports can mess bodies up as much as the Final Destination film franchise....

Steph Curry Is The Master Of G-Rated Humiliation
Steph Curry was in the mood for smiley annihilation last night. After he tossed up the ball that would net him his 41st, 42nd, and 43rd points, he backpedaled into the opposing bench to pay a visit to Austin Rivers....

Public Service Announcement: Do Not Tug On Steph Curry's Brother's Shorts For Any Reason
Steph Curry seemed like he was in a frisky mood in pregame warmups, but no one could possibly have anticipated just how frisky. Steph put 51 points on the board through three quarters against the Wizards, on an absolutely insane selection of wild-ass, irresponsible shots:...

Clearly Steph Is Bored With Basketball As We Know It
When you’re Steph Curry, and there’s no shot available in the normal course of a basketball game that you can’t make with your eyes closed, eventually you reach a point where you need to invent strange and avant-garde forms in order to feel alive. This is the weird outer realm of galactic-brain shot...

Russian Soccer Fans Injured By Terrifying Escalator Malfunction
A warning: If you are going to find yourself on a crowded escalator or staircase at some point today and are prone to fits of anxiety, you should probably not watch this video from a metro station in Rome....

Luka Dončić Is Having A Ball
Lest Trae Young have all the fun beating up on an atrocious winless defense, his rookie foil Luka Dončić also got his last night in a 115-109 Mavericks win over the Bulls. Setting aside the joy of pitting a 19-and 20-year-old in mortal competition for purely narrative and/or Hawks-shaming purposes,...

Celebrating Goober Shooed Away From Lakers Bench After Hitting $30,000 Half-Court Shot
Lots of basketball happened tonight. Much of it was meaningless, or ridiculous, or both. This here is the basketball highlight of the night, though it happened during halftime:...

The Celtics Should Consider Doing More Scoring
Here’s an annoying early season NBA trend: The Boston Celtics, favorites to gain supremacy in a LeBron-less Eastern Conference, have the worst offensive rating in the NBA, following an ugly 93–90 home loss to the lowly Orlando Magic Monday night. In a season thus far marked by outrageously prolific ...

Raving Cavs Fan Yells At Amused DeMarcus Cousins Because He "Destroyed The League"
“You ruined the NBA! It’s real funny! [Unintelligible burbling] money!” said a damp fan in a Cavaliers jersey to DeMarcus Cousins during Sunday’s Warriors-Nuggets game. “Punk ass! He destroyed the league,” added the rapidly reddening man....

DeVante Parker's Agent Calls Adam Gase "Incompetent," Says The Coach Should "Make Himself Inactive"
Dolphins wide receiver DeVante Parker has appeared in two games this season, but “appeared” is a word with a lot of wiggle room. He was targeted just three times in Week 3, and was only on the field for four snaps in Week 6. He’s otherwise been struggling with injury, first a broken finger and then ...

Mitchell Trubisky's Hail Mary Pass To Kevin White Comes Up Painfully Short
The Patriots learned a valuable lesson in respecting Mitchell Trubisky today. With the Bears down by seven with two seconds left, the “tittiess” kisser threw a Hail Mary pass from the team’s own 45-yard line, and it was actually caught. Receiver Kevin White just needed to push through the final two ...
![Mitchell Trubisky Runs About 70 Yards For Eight-Yard Touchdown Run [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/u1dpnfvxdpswerzdmgu1.jpg)
Mitchell Trubisky Runs About 70 Yards For Eight-Yard Touchdown Run [UPDATE]
The Chicago Bears pulled ahead of the New England Patriots late in the first quarter by cashing in on a touchdown after the Pats fumbled a kickoff. How they did it was awesome: QB Mitchell Trubisky, dropping back to pass on third-and-six, ran about 50 yards in the backfield before scoring on an eigh...

Why The NFL Dumped Its Anthem Policy
NEW YORK — The NFL was really feeling itself at this week’s fall meetings in lower Manhattan. Scoring is through the roof! Games are historically close! Ratings are up! Concussions are down! It was impossible to chat up a league official without being reminded of how swell things are going, and ain’...

Kevin Durant Laughs Off Joe Lacob's Plea To Re-Sign With Warriors
Kudos to The Athletic’s Anthony Slater for inspecting a deeply unholy NBA rite closely enough to spot something wonderful. Had you watched the Warriors ring presentation as carefully as The Athletic’s Anthony Slater, you would’ve seen Kevin Durant walk over to Warriors owner Joe Lacob, only for the...

Do The Capitals Or Golden Knights Have Any Chance Of Doing It Again?
The combatants in last season’s Stanley Cup Final met a week into this young season and the rematch looked like a mismatch. The Capitals rode their hot offensive start to a 5-2 victory over the Golden Knights, who now have a 3-4-0 record that has commentators revving up their “I told you they were a...

Knicks Fan Scores From Half-Court Before His Team Makes A Field Goal<em></em>
The NBA’s schedule-makers were kind to the New York Knicks, giving them an evenly-matched opponent for their home opener: the Atlanta Hawks. As expected, almost two minutes of game time passed before either team scored, but the Hawks soon took early control of the game. They went up 10-2 on the Knic...

Kevin Durant's Brother's Instagram Comment Definitely Means That Kevin Won't Re-Sign With The Warriors
Kevin Durant and the Golden State Warriors yawned through their win in Wednesday’s season opener against the Thunder. Durant had 27 points, eight boards, and six assists, and he seemed to have a nice, chill time playing with his buddies after everyone received their championship rings. Fittingly, he...

Yuki Kawauchi, The World's Most Famous Amateur Runner, Explains Why He's Finally Going Pro
As soon as they’d had a chance to mop the sweat or rinse the vomit out of their mouth, the top finishers of the Chicago Marathon stiffly climbed to the stage in the media center to answer reporters’ questions that generally elicited thanks to the Chicago Marathon for putting on such a great race and...

The Packers' All-Out Blitz Won The Day
The focus is rightly going to be on the final two drives, Aaron Rodgers leading the Packers a combined 139 yards for two scores in a total of just 2:12, including a textbook 10-play, 81-yard drive that used up every last second of the 1:07 remaining. “It’s part of going against the best quarterback ...
