go Page 295 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
José Abreu Needed Emergency Surgery To Save A "Strangled" Testicle
White Sox first baseman José Abreu hasn’t played in a couple weeks, a result of an ambiguous outpatient “lower abdominal surgery” he reportedly underwent on August 20. Hernioplasty? Appendectomy? A testicle that twisted around and became tangled up in its own [passes out cold]:...
Wil Myers Is Sorry For Complaining About Padres Manager Andy Green On A <i>Fortnite</i> Stream
The San Diego Padres have been out of contention since—well, since 2011, so it makes sense that the team would have nothing more interesting going on in September than a Fortnite-adjacent kerfuffle involving a player and his manager....
U.S. Open Fan Who Dunked Chicken Tender Into Soda: "People Are Telling Me I Should Go To Jail"
The most repulsive thing at the U.S. Open this weekend wasn’t John Millman’s shirt or Tennys Sandgren’s personality, but this chicken tender dipped into a soda by a woman in the stands. Fox 5 found Alexa Greenfield, the bold flavor revolutionary (or gross weirdo, depending on your worldview) and got...
Roger Goodell Is Every Bit The Overcompensating Dipshit He Seems To Be
Excerpted from Big Game: The NFL In Dangerous Times, out today from Penguin Press....
Cole Hamels Has Been A Cub For A Month And He's Already Talking Shit On Brewers Fans
It’s September. Kids are going back to school, football is back on the TV—it’s still too darn hot, but we can’t have everything—and baseball games are starting to really feel like they matter. The slog of the season pays off with this. There’s a sound a crowd makes that only really occurs this time ...
Oh Khalil Mack Got PAID, Paid
Well, if the Raiders weren’t going to do it, another team would. After trading four draft picks for Khalil Mack, the Chicago Bears signed the 2016 Defensive Player of the Year to a six-year $141 million extension, making him the highest-paid defensive player in league history....
Padres Beach Hat Giveaway Comes With Free Gross Bugs
The lowly San Diego Padres gave fans attending Saturday night’s game against the Rockies complimentary beach hats. Nice! The problem? Some of the packaging of the hats was discovered to contain an infestation of disgusting bugs:...
In Stunning Role Reversal, Tony Romo Advances On Opponent's Choke-Job
Tony Romo advanced to the first stage of Web.com Tour qualifying on Friday, after shooting a 2-over 74 to finish tied for 37th at Lantana Golf Club near Dallas. The finish left Romo just one measly shot short of the cut, a devastatingly slim margin. But! Fortune turned Romo’s way when an opponent ch...
Gio González Takes A Break From Weeping To Reassure Brewers PR People: "But I'm Happy! I Am Happy."
The Nationals traded lefty starter Gio Gonzalez to the Milwaukee Brewers on Friday, the last day that players can move between teams and remain eligible to play in the postseason. Gonzalez has been in Washington since 2012; during that time he’s gotten married, had a couple kids, and entrenched hims...
Reports: Raiders Trade Khalil Mack To Chicago For Two First-Round Draft Picks
The Khalil Mack extension saga in Oakland seems to have drawn to an unexpected close. Rather than reach an agreement with their all-world defensive end, the Raiders have reportedly agreed to trade him to the Chicago Bears....
It's Time For A Better Conversation About Goalkeeping
Goalkeepers have no business existing in soccer. Maintaining an entire class of players whose job is to snuff the joy out of a game is absurd, and strapping on gloves to play a sport that prohibits the use of the hands is blasphemy. In defiance of not just strikers, but more or less everyone, the ke...
Why Don't More Soccer Teams Scoop Up Easy Goals From Cool Free-Kick Routines Like This?
PAOK scored the first goal of their Champions League qualifying match against a superior Benfica team off of a neat little coordinated free-kick routine. Watch the goal above, because it’s cool, and then ponder the following: What is it about free goals that have the big tough soccer boys afraid of ...
Cole Hamels Looks Unbeatable Again
When the Chicago Cubs acquired Cole Hamels from the Rangers before the trade deadline, it looked like the team was just buying a lotto ticket. Hamels, who was putting up a disastrous 5.19 FIP with the Rangers in 2018, was just another formerly great but presently iffy arm who could join the rest of ...
Javier Pastore Escaped His Gilded Cage And Is Back Doing Crazy Shit On The Field
If you were to name a poster boy for the phenomenon of promising young talents who join the game’s richest clubs only to find themselves spending more time watching soccer than playing it, Javier Pastore would be a perfectly credible choice. Now, after finally deciding to step out from the bejeweled...
Adam Engel Makes Heroic Catch Despite Assault From Yankee Stadium Grass
Adam Engel has earned himself a bit of a reputation as a Yankee-killer this season, thanks to a tendency for the otherwise unspectacular White Sox centerfielder to make terrific grabs against the Bronx Bombers. Tonight, Yankee Stadium thought they might take some revenge on the home team’s fielding ...
This Is What It Takes To Become A Champion Dragon Boat Racer
Every year, a toxic lagoon in Flushing Meadows Park in Corona, Queens fills up with long boats crammed with 20 paddlers from all over the United States and the world. They are there to see who can paddle their dragon the fastest across the finish line. The event may appear curious to first-time onlo...
Nick Saban Still Won't Clear Up His Starting Quarterback Controversy
Top-ranked Alabama will kick off its season this Saturday against Louisville. With only five days before the first game of the year, the depth chart should be locked into place and everyone should know their roles as the Crimson Tide prepares to defend their national title. However, Nick Saban still...
Young Marseille Fan Turns Ceremonial Kick-Off Into A Goal, Perturbs Very Proper Announcer
It’s not unprecedented for Marseille fans to seize the opportunity of the ceremonial kick-off to live out their dreams of scoring a goal, but this lad truly squeezed every last drop out of it with a goal, shirtless celebration, and slide....
The Javy Báez Highlight Factory Was Humming Last Night
It’s cool when Cubs star infielder Javy Báez makes an incredible defensive play, and it is also cool when he sends a baseball howling into the sky. What’s really cool is when he does both of those things in the same game....
Why Would Todd Gurley Need Preseason, Anyway?
Los Angeles Rams coach Sean McVay decided, for various reasons, not to play all but one of his starters in his team’s first two preseason games. Most will sit out Saturday’s game against Houston, including quarterback Jared Goff and running back Todd Gurley. Next week, per tradition, no starters wil...