go Page 294 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Attempted Nuclear Wedgie Fails To Prevent Devin Booker From Defending His Honor
In the third quarter of Tuesday night’s Timberwolves-Suns game, with the Suns already getting their inconsequential asses kicked off, Timberwolves guy Gorgui Dieng caught trumped-up Suns guy Devin Booker with a stray elbow following a Suns turnover. Performative toughness ensued....
Kyle Korver Attempts To Inbound Airball, Laughs At His Own Goof
It’s open season on any clown shooting higher than 41 percent from three. The newest victim is old man Kyle Korver, who either thought this ball had already landed out or believed Damian Lillard’s airball had actually gone in, because he grabbed the ball and immediately stepped out as if to inbound....
Here's Steph Curry Legitimately Sucking At Basketball For A Few Precious Seconds
The Warriors are 33-14, Boogie is back, and they beat the Lakers 130-111 last night behind 44 points from Klay Thompson. These guys are almost definitely going to win the title again, and so the only thing non-Warriors fans can do while waiting for the inevitable is grab hold of as many brief moment...
Report: Carmelo Anthony Has Been Dug Out Of The Crawl Space And Placed On The Corner
Hey, remember Carmelo Anthony? After a decidedly bad season in Oklahoma City, where he was supposed to help put the Thunder into title contention, he went to Houston with the intention of providing some shooting and keeping the Rockets in title contention. That pipe dream lasted mere weeks before he...
Sensitive Pee Baby Yadier Molina Didn't Like Kris Bryant Calling St. Louis "Boring"
The Chicago Cubs held their annual fan convention over the weekend, and one of the festivities was former Cubs pitcher Ryan Dempster hosting a mock late night show with current Cubs players as his guests. This was a chance for players to “cut loose” and “show their real personalities,” and that led...
Frances Tiafoe Breaks Down In Tears After Advancing To Australian Open Quarterfinals On His 21st Birthday<em></em>
After beating No. 20 seed Grigor Dimitrov 7-5, 7-6 (6), 6-7 (1), 7-5 on Sunday, College Park, Md. native Frances Tiafoe celebrated advancing to his first Grand Slam quarterfinal the same way he did just one round earlier: ripping his shirt off, slapping his biceps and chest, and using all the energy...
League Mourns As Teams Realize DeMarcus Cousins Is Still Pretty Damn Good At Basketball
Whelp, that was fun while it lasted. The brief period where we could pretend to believe that other teams besides the Warriors had a chance at making a run for an NBA title is officially over after DeMarcus “Boogie” Cousins made his season debut for the Warriors on Friday against the Clippers in a 11...
Paul Millsap Can Still Jump, Apparently
The Bulls are taking on the Nuggets in Denver in a game that’s a lot closer than it should be. On the basis of the scoreline alone, it’s hard to tell that one team is the second-best squad in the West by record, and the other is trying hard to bring Zion Williamson onto their team. There are some in...
The Manny Machado Sweepstakes Is Kind Of A Mess
It was not all that long ago that baseball people—smart, evenhanded baseball people—were wondering if Manny Machado would become MLB’s first $400-million man. Now we’re all wondering if he’s going to make that much more than Chris Davis....
Rolling Pelicans Roasted By Steph Curry's Spontaneous Combustion
The Pelicans came into the second half Wednesday night up five over the Warriors, and quickly added to the lead until it got as big as 16 points. The Pelicans are a fun and surprisingly tough matchup for the Warriors, and they appeared to have the game firmly in their grasp with 4:49 left in the th...
The Tryhard Chicago Bulls Went All Out And Denied Lakers Fans Free Tacos
When an NBA game drifts into the boring morass of a blowout, fans across the country begin to focus on the most American of pursuits: free shit. ...
The Nuggets Met The Golden State Monster
Last night against the Warriors, the Denver Nuggets shot 45 percent from the floor, 41 percent from three-point range, dished 30 assists, and finished the game with 111 points. They also got their nuts kicked off....
Marc-Andre Fleury Got Busted Building A Snow Wall
When they talk about veteran savvy, they are usually referring to little (often unnoticeable) things an athlete does, gleaned through years and years of trial-and-error, but entirely legal. No more. From now on, any mention of veteran savvy will be specifically referring to Marc Andre-Fleury buildin...
Antti Niemi Came Up Huge
Antti Niemi has been around a long time. Eleven NHL seasons, six different teams. And not once in all of that did the 35-year-old netminder experience what happened last night in Montreal: 20,000 people chanting his name....
Bucks Owner Marc Lasry Breathes Fresh Life Into The Steph-For-Bogut What-If Scenario
Back in 2016, then-San Jose Mercury News columnist Tim Kawakami debunked a persistent rumor that the Warriors were once set to trade 23-year-old Stephen Curry for Bucks center Andrew Bogut, before the Bucks pulled the plug over concerns about Curry’s balky ankle. As Kawakami laid out at the time, th...
The Warriors Outdid Themselves With A Supernova First Quarter
Technically, the second-place Golden State Warriors were playing against the best team in the West when they took the floor tonight against the Denver Nuggets. But it took them only 12 minutes to show just how misleading the standings can be, absolutely exploding for a franchise-record 10 three-poin...
Can Somebody Besides The White Sox Please Give Manny Machado An Offer?
MLB’s slow trudge towards the signing of top free agents Manny Machado and Bryce Harper may at last possibly be nearing a conclusion. It also may not be! But at the very least the speculation concerning those two stars’ final destinations seems to have narrowed dramatically. Unless any of the ubiqui...
Robin Lopez Is Trapped In Basketball Hell
Robin Lopez is having a bad time. The Bulls are awful, and are presently mired in a seven-game losing streak, with two games left on their current Western Conference road trip. To add insult to injury, this week head coach Jim Boylen told Lopez he’d be seeing fewer minutes of court time as the team ...
Matt Nagy Was Not Happy That Cody Parkey Went On The <i>Today</i> Show
Double doink artist Cody Parkey joined Today on Friday to talk about moving forward with his life and his career after costing his team a playoff win in the most devastating possible way. Parkey held his head high, telling the hosts he wasn’t completely gutted by the double doink because “football’s...
We're Approaching The Endgame Of The Machado/Harper Negotiations
Depending on how much you’re willing to believe the reported rumors, there appear to now be clear frontrunners in what seems to be at best to be three-team races for top free agents Bryce Harper and Manny Machado....