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Joe Maddon Shamelessly Reams Out Umpire Without Getting Tossed
There’s no lip reading required to figure out why Cubs manager Joe Maddon was pissed off in Sunday’s 7-4 win over the Padres. Home plate umpire Ryan Blakney’s strike zone was indecipherable all day—both teams complained about it—so in the eighth inning, Maddon had had enough....
Starling Marte And Gregory Polanco Combine For Rare Slice Of History With Double-Header Dingers
History has a habit of repeating itself over and over in sports, especially in baseball. Saturday afternoon Starling Marte and Gregory Polanco got in some history-making of their own: they became the third teammates in MLB history to amass back-to-back home runs in both games of a double-header. Thi...
Pizza Dipshit John Schnatter Claims Victimhood And Burns Roger Goodell In Strange, Strange Radio Interview
Papa John Schnatter did an interview on Friday with Terry Meiners of NewsRadio 840 WHAS, reflecting upon his extremely bad and dumb week and the bizarre and offensive comments that got him into so much trouble. I suggest listening to the whole thing. Meiners is direct and reasonably tough, and calls...
Jabari Parker Signs Two-Year Deal With The Bulls, Gets The Fresh Start He Deserves
Confident proclamations from Giannis Antetokounmpo about Jabari Parker’s future in Milwaukee turn out to have been premature: Saturday the Milwaukee Bucks rescinded the qualifying offer that gave them matching rights for any restricted free agency offer for Parker, paving the way for Parker to sign ...
Amid Sex Abuse Crisis, USOC Hires Another Marketing Guru
The U.S. Olympic Committee announced its new CEO yesterday—Sarah Hirshland. She previously was an executive with the U.S. Golf Association and, before that, spent several years at Wasserman Media Group, a giant sports marketing agency whose CEO, Casey Wasserman, helped bring the Olympics to Los Ange...
ROH And NJPW Just Ended WWE's 58-Year Stranglehold On Madison Square Garden
Decades of pro wrestling history were upended via joint press release on Thursday when Ring of Honor, New Japan, and Madison Square Garden announced a joint show at “The World’s Most Famous Arena” for April 6, 2019. Unless an unannounced (but previously reported) planned show from Mexican promotion ...
The Golden Knights Are Paying Marc-Andre Fleury <i>How Much?</i>
The Vegas Golden Knights announced that they have signed goaltender Marc-Andre Fleury to a very bad contract extension....
A 79-Year-Old Nicknamed "Big Mama" Just Shot Her Age At The U.S. Senior Women's Open
JoAnne “Big Mama” Carner was elected to the World Golf Hall of Fame 36 years ago. She hasn’t walked a course since 2004. She was asked yesterday, before the first-ever USGA Senior Women’s Open, if she had hit the gym to prepare. “Do I look like I hit the gym?” she replied. ...
Bleacher Report Founder Wins Right To Put His Sweaty Hands All Over The Gawker Archives
The archives of our former sister site Gawker now belong to this goon. Bryan Goldberg, the founder of Bleacher Report, a sports site for idiots, and Bustle, the women’s site that assumes women are stupid, won the rights to the defunct Gawker.com in a bankruptcy auction today, as reported by the Wall...
The World's Ugliest Dog Is Dead, Probably Not Of Ugliness<em></em>
Weeks after being crowned the World’s Ugliest Dog, 9-year-old bulldog Zsa Zsa died Tuesday. She was assassinated while delivering a speech at a town hall. No, okay, she passed in her sleep....
Kieran Trippier's Absolute Banger Brings It One Step Closer To Home
Is it coming home or what? It only took five minutes for Kieran Trippier to do his thing and put England up 1-0 with a gorgeous curling free kick from just outside the box....
Croatian Defender Domagoj Vida Is In Some Hot Water After Shouting Pro-Ukraine Slogans In A Pair Of Videos
After Croatia defeated Russia in the World Cup quarterfinal on penalty kicks this weekend, former Croatia international Ognjen Vukojevic posted a video of himself and Croatian defender Domagoj Vida celebrating in the locker room and exclaiming “Slava Ukrayini!”, which translates to “Glory to Ukraine...
Javy Baez Finally Did Something Imperfectly
Cubs infielder Javy Baez is so appealing as a baseball player because he always seems to know exactly how to change the game in the most creative, unexpected ways. But in tonight’s game against the Giants, Baez’s seemingly unlimited supply of wits and skill failed him, and he shockingly allowed an o...
Why Didn't The Rockets Use Their Mid-Level Exception On Luc Mbah A Moute?
Luc Mbah a Moute is leaving the Rockets. And, to use one of the more cursed sentences in the English language, he’s going to be a Clipper. The former Houston forward signed an artificially deflated one-year, $4.3 million contract with the L.A. team that doesn’t have LeBron, in a deal that the Rocket...
Congressional Mutant Louie Gohmert Sticks Up For Jim Jordan: "These Former Wrestlers Were Adults"
Over the course of the past week, multiple former Ohio State wrestlers have come forward to say they were sexually abused by former team doctor Richard Strauss during his tenure at the university, which ran from 1978 to 1998. Many of the wrestlers have also said that Republican Congressman Jim Jorda...
Cheatin' Phil Mickelson Becomes Self-Reporting Phil Mickelson After Stomping On A Tuft Of Grass
Noted cheater Phil Mickelson played out the final round of the clumsily named A Military Tribute at Greenbriar Sunday, well out of contention from start to finish. Perhaps it was the low-stakes atmosphere of this formality of a round that led Phil to earn back some brownie points on the par-4 sevent...
Bulls Save Kings From Themselves, Match $78 Million Restricted Free Agency Offer For Zach LaVine
The Bulls and Kings, two teams roughly as far from NBA relevance as possible, spent Friday in a brief tug-of-war over the right to pay huge sums of money for the services of Zach LaVine, a butt player with zero track record of contributing to anything even approaching functional professional basketb...
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The Results Of Taking A Fastball To The Nuts Are As Horrifying As You Can Imagine
Today’s column is about Yadier Molina’s exploded nuts....
Javy Baez Stole Home With Another Dope Slide
Nobody makes the little things in baseball more exciting than Cubs infielder Javy Baez, and he did it again today against the Tigers. A steal of home is, of course, alright pretty thrilling. But watch the subtle yet significant way Baez contorts his body for the swim-move slide to avoid a seemingly ...