go Page 304 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Warriors Heroically Overcome Jeff Green, George Hill, & Rodney Hood To Claim NBA Title
Despite facing a Cavaliers superteam of NBA legends like José Calderón, Cedi Osman, and George Hill, the Golden State Warriors fought their way past the odds to claim their third league title in the past four years and their sixth overall with a 108-85 win. ...
Minnesota Football Players Involved In Sexual Assault Investigation Sue School For $45 Million
Nine of the 10 Minnesota football players who were temporarily or permanently suspended at the conclusion of a 2016 university sexual assault investigation are suing the school for $5 million apiece....
They Already Said They Weren't Going To Go, Man
Even though LeBron James and Steph Curry had already said that neither of their teams would visit the White House if they won the NBA Finals, today Donald Trump tried to pretend like he wouldn’t have invited them anyway. Surely the basketball players will regret the opportunity to watch a septuagena...
The Game Clock Broke In Vegas And Caused Total Chaos
If ever you need confirmation of the theory of general relativity, just watch your team in a Stanley Cup clincher. After Lars Eller scored the go-ahead (and soon to be Cup-winning) goal with 7:37 left, time started doing funny things, depending on who you were rooting for. While those final minutes ...
Ovechkin And Fleury Say Hello, With Sticks
Alexander Ovechkin’s and Marc-Andre Fleury’s playoff familiarity goes all the way back to 2009. Fleury’s side has won every single one of their series (even if he happened to be on the bench for some of that). That could change tonight, obviously. Even before puck drop, they were sending each other ...
Kendrick Perkins And Kevin Durant Have A Friendly, Obscene Moment Together
Kendrick Perkins, nominally on the Cavs roster, is just there to wear a suit and start shit. He’s a large, rude chaperone who escorts the team from Cleveland to the Bay and back, occasionally stepping up to yell at or near Drake or knock knees with Steph Curry. Last night he fully embraced his role ...
The Phillies And Their Dumb Shift Just Handed Third Base To Kris Bryant
The Cubs beat the Phillies 7-5 in a thriller on Wednesday night that culminated in a walk-off grand slam dinger from Jason Heyward. This came right after the Phillies had taken a 5-3 lead in the top half of that inning on a two-run smash from Dylan Cozens. The win-probability graph alone is exciting...
Kevin Durant Won The NBA Finals Tonight
Even if everyone already knew the Warriors were eventually going to win the NBA Finals regardless of what happened tonight, Game 3 was actually pretty fun. The Cavs gave the Dubs their best shot on the way to a respectable 110-102 defeat. Kevin Love came to play, Rodney Hood reminded us that he was ...
Luke Heimlich Didn't Get Drafted
Oregon State pitcher Luke Heimlich, the MLB prospect who pleaded guilty to sexually abusing his niece in 2012, went unpicked on the final day of the MLB Draft this year, as every major-league team passed on him over the course of 40 rounds. For the time being, at least, it appears that the majors ha...
The Undersized Diego Schwartzman Took A Set Off Rafael Nadal, And Then It Rained
Tennis, particularly the men’s side, has fallen into a certain rhythm, and if you’re a certain kind of old-school clay-court fogey, this rhythm might be boring. Boom, boom, boom, boom. The serve is the most powerful offensive tool in the game. It is the only shot in the game completely within a play...
Javy Baez Ruins Sweatshirt, Also Gets An Out
In the ninth inning of an otherwise pretty blah Cubs loss, Chicago shortstop Javier Baez made a daredevil catch along the Steve Bartman wall at Wrigley Field. The out came at the cost of a Cubs fan’s beer and his previously clean sweatshirt, but it was a worthy sacrifice for an acrobatic play....
Trump Unable To Remember Words To "God Bless America" At Performance Commissioned To Prove His Patriotism
Donald Trump’s hastily arranged replacement for the Super Bowl champion Eagles’ White House visit featured the president making a very brief appearance to talk about how great the economy is and, then, stand awkwardly while mouthing maybe half the words to “God Bless America” like a Yankees fan in r...
The Golden Knights Have Lost Their Mojo
There is no secret to what is happening to the Golden Knights, now down 3-1 in the Stanley Cup final after playing nigh-unbeatable throughout the playoffs. The zamboni has transformed back into a pumpkin, and not just a regular pumpkin, but a gross smelly rotted one. ...
The Capitals Finally Made Vegas Look Like An Expansion Team<em></em>
In the follow-up performance to a Game 3 loss marked by defensive miscommunications and mishaps, the Vegas Golden Knights looked even worse for most of Game 4, falling to the Capitals 6-2 to go down 3-1 in the Stanley Cup Finals. On the whole, Vegas actually did a better job of creating dangerous ch...
Kendrick Perkins Somehow Becomes The Central Part Of An NBA Finals Controversy
At the end of the third quarter of Game 2, Steph Curry missed a three and sauntered back towards his bench in front of the Cavaliers. Most of the Cavs let him walk freely, but not Kendrick Perkins, who refused to close his widespread legs and knocked knees with Curry....
All Routine Groundouts Should Look Like This
When you’ve reached the “playing for the Salt Lake Bees” point of your baseball career, it’s perfectly reasonable to have some fun with it. Eric Young Jr., erstwhile MLB speedster and veteran of 610 big league games over nine seasons, showed how this was done in a game on Sunday. ...
What Are You Supposed To Do About Steph Curry?
Steph Curry makes you want to ragequit. Throw up your hands; throw the controller across the room; swear, loudly, to an empty apartment. It’s a videogame term, but he’s a videogame talent: hitting low-percentage (for anyone else) shots at a rate that should be beyond human capabilities, and when the...
Watching The NBA Finals At Oracle Arena With The Overlords And Oligarchs In Club Prick
I watched Game 1 of the NBA Finals from extremely expensive seats in Oracle Arena, but I didn’t see J.R. Smith’s towering goof....
J.R. Smith Is No Longer So Certain He Knew The Score
J.R. Smith was pretty clear after Game 1 that he knew the score and situation at the end of regulation, and that what appeared to be an all-time blunder was, in fact, a combination of team-wide confusion and a running clock. The play sure didn’t look that way, but that was his story and, honestly, i...
Maybe It Actually Is Okay For Caps Fans To Believe?
The Caps were still up by a goal after Braden Holtby’s incredible blunder in the third period of Saturday’s Game 3, but when it happened—the very instant Tomáš Nosek guided Holtby’s blind, panicked, incomprehensibly ill-advised give-away into the empty net—a vision of the next great gut-wrenching Ca...