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The Wizards Of Aughts: The Post-Millennium Washington Wizards And The Bloggers Who Immortalized Them
The late-model Washington Wizards are broadly competent, secretly mediocre, spotty, and more boring than they are not. They could be nutshelled as an equal and opposite reaction to their counterparts of a decade ago. Those Wiz teams, which weren’t better but sure were stranger, boasted a bigger coll...

Mike Confuses Not-Mikes For Mike
It’s been a few weeks since Mike Greenberg (Little Mike) started his post-Mikes career as the host of Get Up!, a morning show which does not feature Mike Golic (Big Mike). On the eve of the show’s launch, Little Mike gave an interview in which he expressed what seemed like wistful longing for his ol...

The Goddamn Golden Knights Just Swept The Kings
Marc-André Fleury is dominating the NHL playoffs again, and the expansion Vegas Golden Knights are cruising to the second round for the first time ever in their first opportunity ever. Vegas beat the Kings 1-0 Tuesday night to sweep their opening round opponents, and they’re the first team to get a...

Anthony Rizzo Thinks Baseball Could Have A Shorter Season
A trendpiece’s worth of baseball games have already been canceled this season because of inclement/completely seasonal weather, and also because of a hole in the Blue Jays’ roof. Jackie Robinson Day as well as the Red Sox’s Marathon Monday were hamstrung by poor playing conditions. Cubs first basema...

Nothing Matters, But LaMarcus Aldridge Was Awesome Last Night
They have to say they believe they can win, of course. More than that, they have to actually believe that it’s at least possible, or they would not be the sorts of people capable of claiming the West’s seventh playoff seed with a roster that looks like somebody sat on a keyboard. None of the rest of...

ROH Wrestling's Biggest Show Ever Is In The Books. So Now What?
Numerous stories played out in parallel during WrestleMania weekend in New Orleans, and the fact that there was more going on than any one person could process was, as always, a big part of the fun. Few of those stories had more history or more potential future significance than the one that unfolde...

The Golden Knights Won't Be Pushed Around
Game 3 was going to be nasty, and the Golden Knights knew it. With the Kings down 2-0 and the series leaving Vegas, where the Knights have been so good at home (the “Vegas Flu” is real, but so is their home-crowd advantage), Los Angeles was going to come out pesty and physical, finishing their check...

Penguins Score Twice In 5 Seconds
The Penguins and Flyers came into today’s game in Philadelphia tied at 1 in their opening-round series. Pittsburgh destroyed the Flyers in the opener, 7-0; Philadelphia came back with a 5-1 win in Game 2....

Golfer Kelly Kraft Misses Cut After Tee Shot Nails Bird Mid-Flight
I truly wish video existed of this event: Kelly Kraft narrowly missed the cut at the RBC Heritage in South Carolina Friday after his tee shot at the par-3 14th hit a bird mid-flight and dropped directly into a water hazard. Per the PGA’s website:...

Mark Sanchez Suspended Four Largely Hypothetical Games For Failed PED Test
Former (and I suppose sort of current) NFL quarterback Mark Sanchez will be suspended for the first four games of the 2018-19 NFL season after testing positive for a banned performance-enhancing substance. Sanchez announced the news himself on Instagram, claiming that he was “blind-sided by the news...

San Diego's Month-Old Radio Station Was Already Forced To Redo Its Whole Lineup
Farewell, 97.3 The Machine. We never knew ye....

Let's Enjoy Some Pictures Of The Day In Baseball Donnybrooks
Baseball featured one tussle in the afternoon (Padres-Rockies, after a few hit batsmen) and one in the evening (Yankees-Red Sox, after one hit batsman and one hard slide) and, as always, the resulting photographs from Getty and the Associated Press are much more engrossing than any video can be. Her...

This Is What Playoff Hockey In Vegas Looks Like
The Vegas Golden Knights, the expansion NHL team that somehow won its division, were the best story in hockey this year. ...

The Rockies And Padres Had Themselves A Scuffle
The Padres and Rockies are playing a game in Colorado today, and things really went to hell in the third inning after Padres starter Luis Perdomo threw a fastball behind Nolan Arenado, sparking a benches-clearing fracas....

Donovan Mitchell Dropped Draymond Green On His Ass
The Jazz and Warriors are playing out a pretty goofy end-of-season game in which Golden State is very much not going at 100 percent and Utah is taking advantage. No moment has been sillier, though, than Jazz rookie Donovan Mitchell making reigning defensive player of the year Draymond Green look utt...

Home Run Balls Are Free For The Taking In Chicago Today
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Tony Finau Played The Entire Masters On This Gross, Fucked-Up Ankle
Tony Finau’s first Masters looked like it would derail in tragicomic fashion before it even started, as the golfer fucked up his ankle in the Par-3 competition while celebrating a hole-in-one. Miraculously, Finau was able to still play and finished tied for 10th place with a 7 under on the tourname...

Bubba Watson Sends Eagle Putt Directly Into The Bunker
Owing to the insane three-day brilliance of leader Patrick Reed, Bubba Watson’s perfectly respectable six-under headed into Sunday at the Masters put him nowhere close to contending for the lead in the final round. An early eagle certainly wouldn’t have hurt the cause! I bring that up because Watson...

Hoo Boy, The Padres Lost In The Dumbest Way Imaginable
You really will not believe this one. The Astros had a man on second with two outs in the bottom of the 10th inning last night, against the Padres, in a scoreless game. Batter Alex Bregman popped a rising 3-2 fastball from Padres pitcher Phil Maton straight up in the air. Easy out! Guaranteed out. R...

Report: Dumb Beer Ad Phrase Not Specifically Banned From The Masters
The dumb beer ad phrase, a corporate slogan the utterance of which will for sure get you kicked out of my household, even if you are my own mother, may not have actually been banned at this year’s Masters, according to an investigation by Dan Wetzel and Jay Busbee of Yahoo Sports:...