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The Only Real Question That Needs To Be Asked At A Debate
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Adios, Sucker: A Conservative Bids A Mostly Fond Adieu To Jon Stewart
Jon Stewart’s last episode of The Daily Show is tonight, and everyone promises to miss him, even if, like me, they stopped watching him religiously years ago. It wasn’t too long after he made his mawkish 2004 plea to Tucker Carlson and Paul Begala to “stop hurting America”—and, as a result, became t...
![Report: Patrick Kane Is The Subject Of A Rape Investigation [Updates]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1373822293372471653.jpg)
Report: Patrick Kane Is The Subject Of A Rape Investigation [Updates]
The Buffalo News reports that Hamburg, N.Y., police are investigating some sort of incident, and two sources tell the paper that incident involved Blackhawks star Patrick Kane. And that’s literally all we know right now. (See updates below.)...
The NFL Would Like To Have A Little Talk With You About Sex
Does the NFL give its players sex advice? Of course it does! This is a league that tells its players how to tuck in their uniforms, has an approximately 600-word definition of what a catch is, and has its employees sign an “integrity of the game” honor code. So why not give its players The Talk?...
The NFL's Dumbass Deflategate Science Report Is A Feature, Not A Bug
Last night, a mountain of documents and transcription emerged from Tom Brady’s late June appeal hearing before Roger Goodell. It’s been a circus, with a series of insults, emails, and sneaker requests to Tom Ford pouring out of the file cabinet, but the testimony most relevant to the case circles ba...
The Full Story Of Tom Brady's Destroyed Cell Phone
The biggest revelation from Roger Goodell’s decision upholding Tom Brady’s four-game suspension was that Brady’s cell phone was destroyed shortly before meeting with Ted Wells and his investigators, even though he knew Wells wanted access to the contents of his text messages. Here is how Wells descr...
Here's The "Integrity Of The Game" Honor Code The NFL Says Brady Broke
For the first time—as far as we can tell—the NFL’s secret honor oath has become public, as part of the NFLPA’s lawsuit over Tom Brady’s suspension. It’s this “Integrity Of The Game Certification” upon which the NFL has hinged its four-game ban on the Patriots quarterback, and yet the text of this ho...
22 Years Ago Today, Nolan Ryan Beat The Shit Out Of Robin Ventura
You charge the mound because you’re furious. Because you want to hurt someone. You know you’ll be ejected, fined, suspended, but it’s all worth it for brief taste of revenge. You never do it thinking that it all might go horribly wrong, and you might wind up on the receiving end of one of the most i...
Michael Jordan Victimized By Meme-Wielding Teen
While giving a speech to a gym full of kids at a youth camp, Michael Jordan encountered every 52-year-old man’s nightmare scenario: a teen with a deep understanding of internet memes....
Onside Punt Touchdown Is A True Gift From Canada
Canada’s been leaving us some crappy gifts lately, but here’s something from tonight’s Toronto-Hamilton game that might perk your ears up: an onside punt touchdown, unique to the Canadian game and something we strongly encourage Roger Goodell to unilaterally write into American Football’s rules....
The Greatest Boxer Alive Is Too Good For His Sport
Guillermo Rigondeaux—El Chacal, or The Jackal—is by far the greatest fighter in the world today. He may be the greatest fighter of the last 20 years. Unfortunately, he will soon lose for the first time, surely by knockout, and with his defeat will come sighs of relief and a lot of people saying, “I ...
How The Dodgers Got Baseball's Last Buried Treasure
The following is excerpted from The Best Team Money Can Buy: The Los Angeles Dodgers’ Wild Struggle to Build a Baseball Powerhouse. ...
MMA Fighters Spark Wild Brawl Outside WSOF Event
Apparently MMA fighters Nick and Nate Diaz and Khabib Nurmagomedov get so charged up by being in a fighting environment that they can’t help but seek out a scrap even if they aren’t on the card....
Johannes Geis Hammers Home Long-Range Free Kick <i>Golazo</i>
Schalke 04 up-and-comer Johannes Geis gave the supporters in Gelsenkirchen something to anticipate for the forthcoming season as he drilled a perfect free kick into the corner of the net during today’s friendly against Dutch side Twente. Schalke just signed Geis to a four-year contract, and if he ca...
Watch Rickie Fowler's 70-Foot Putt At Robert Trent Jones Golf Course
Minus the cameraman’s terrible angle, this is a pretty sweet putt by reigning Players Championship winner Rickie Fowler on the fourth hole at the Quicken Loans National. At 70 feet, it’s still 41 feet off Craig Barlow’s PGA record, but it’ll do....
A Norwegian Hero Has Been Shitting In A Golf Club's Holes For A Decade
There are keyboard warriors out there, like myself, who will write all these words about how golf is a classist and racist and sexist and bullshit sport and how actually fuck that it’s not even a sport and how the easiest way to tell if you’re in the presence of a Grade-A, grass-fed fuckboy is to as...
No Hops-Having Keeper Lets Pass Bounce Over His Head For An Own Goal
You had three options here, goalkeeper: 1) run out to the incoming back pass and meet it right after it bounces, 2) step back a few steps and take the ball off your chest after it took that towering though perfectly predictable skip off the turf, 3) loiter around in the box and find yourself standin...
Padres Manager Pulled His Players To Screw With Everyone
With the MLB trade deadline tomorrow, fans are now on Early Exit Watch. Any player who leaves a game early will be considered to be involved in a trade, until proven otherwise. (Yesterday, the opposite happened.) When Justin Upton and Matt Kemp prematurely left Wednesday’s Padres game, the buzz star...
How The Botched Mets Trade Went Down
So: who screwed up? Who was responsible for Wilmer Flores’s tears, and for the Brewers’ goodbye messages to Carlos Gomez, and for the Mets becoming a punchline yet again? And who’s to thank for the most entertaining sports Twitter night since DeAndre Jordan?...
Here's What Happened With Floyd Mayweather's Crew At That Warriors Game
Earlier this week, Oakland police’s records department said that the investigation into a possible fight between a member of Floyd Mayweather’s entourage and a woman at a Golden State Warriors playoff game was still open, and sent along a paltry, almost completely redacted incident report. So I aske...